I have a DD (4) and DH and since her birth have very much been a 'one and done' woman. The past year or so I'm beginning to face up to the fact that I had undiagnosed PND which started when my daughter was around 6 months, until 12 months.
Although I think we (me and DH) had always acknowledged that the first year of DDs life was survival mode for me, its only this past month that I've admitted to him that I had quite intense suicidal thoughts around months 7-9.
Luckily, I came out the other side of PND (honestly, I think the COVID lockdowns were key, as my husband was at home).
After lots more open chats with my husband, we've decided to try for another baby, but acknowledged that if it doesn't happen by the end of next year, we'll remain as a one child family.
I'm really nervous about PND happening again. I have quite a few mental health problems on my family's side (my mum had a very serious bout of PND with me, resulting in 2 attempts and developing into alcoholism and possible bipolar - we're NC).
And I don't feel like I help myself much, as I am not one to be able to sit and talk about my feelings (making jokes about trauma, fine, but not the fluffy stuff).
I just wonder if anyone has any words of advice, or routes of support I can take once I get pregnant/give birth?