Please someone help me

[BruceAndMarley]

Hi, this is a long shot

I was just wondering if anyone was induced early due to anxiety at all? I’m only 31 weeks at the moment with my first baby, I’m 25 and very healthy, all has gone fine and every time I’ve worried before scans, baby has been perfect , but I wondered if anyone has spoken to their Obstetrician and had any luck discussing delivering a bit earlier ? I’m possibly having a c-section anyway due to high risk pregnancy (seizures) but haven’t seen my consultant since 20 weeks, I’m due to see her on Thursday this coming week and want to ask then but I don’t want to sound silly.
I have had a really good couple of weeks and then I always seem to see videos pop up on bloody TikTok or Instagram of people sharing some very sad stories which are of course awful and I can’t even imagine, but they just pop up and it’s got me into a right anxious state again. I can’t cope. I’ve had numerous breakdowns, developed OCD and severe anxiety. I just want my baby here. First my worries were miscarriage , then missed miscarriages, then birth defects , then reduced movements and now I’m so close to the end I’m obsessed with still birth.

I’m still awaiting a MH referral (which was done about 5 weeks ago) but I slipped through the net as I wasn’t seen as being ‘urgent’ because I’m not suicidal and don’t take medication (that’s what I was told the reason was when I called for help yesterday). Just makes me wonder how mad you have to be before being seen, and I feel very alone.
I have nobody else to talk to other than my husband who is incredible but obviously doesn’t see my worries logically . Because they are irrational. And he also works very long days. If I post on any social media either friends will see it or if it’s a group I’ll possibly get comments from people who have lost babies which will obviously trigger me. I just need someone to talk some sense into me, give me some hope of reassurance etc . Please be kind.
Thank you x

[mummab2019]

Hi!

I suffer with anxiety and was offered induction at 37 weeks when I was pregnant...I decided against it as I didn't like the thought of a fast developing painful labour BUT I did ask for a sweep at 38 weeks & this was accepted.. fortunately my LG came at 38 weeks so didn't need it.

X

[SinkGirl]

Sending hugs OP. I had severe anxiety and tokophobia in my pregnancy and it was absolutely brutal.

My twins were born at 35+1 as one of my twins stopped moving. You’d think that’s almost term, no big deal. But one twin spent 17 days in nicu and the other spent 2 months there, then was swiftly readmitted for two weeks. They both have lifelong disabilities, who knows why or whether the gestation was a factor - one does have a type of brain damage associated with premature birth.

Unfortunately having your baby early will not resolve your anxiety - it’s likely to increase it especially if your baby is small or unwell. You need support and treatment for the anxiety rather than trying to fix it in a way which is likely to exacerbate things.

Hang in there - you’ve come so far and there’s not too much longer to go! Ask for help if you are struggling x

[ClematisRose]

Hi @BruceAndMarley I'm really sorry to hear that you are feeling this way but there is no way they will allow you to be induced early unless there is a strong medical reason affecting the physical health of you or the baby.
I know still birth is scary, but you are going to have to just keep sight of the end goal. Maybe an elective C section would be something to discuss with your midwife.

[Broomfondle]

Yes by risks post-term I should have said risks post-40w or so

[FelicityPike]

I had my DD at 31 weeks.
A premature baby is not fun I assure you. Also lots of preemie parents end up with some form of PTSD.
37 weeks is classed as term, but I highly highly doubt you’ll be able to be induced then, the longer baby “cooks” for the better (unless there’s a medical need of course).

[Broomfondle]

Delivering early would (to be really blunt) be increasing the risks to your baby to ease your feelings of anxiety.
Your feelings of anxiety are incredibly important and need to be recognised and addressed by your maternity team, and they need to know that your fears regarding birth are leading you to think this way. But an early delivery isn't the way forward.
If you are worried about the risks post-term you should talk about that because in that case there may be scope to not let you go too far over.
Pregnancy and birth can be absolutely terrifying and for good reason. You've done so well to go through all the milestones you have.
Remember pregnancy is a bit magic though. It's a completely irreplaceable process. Your baby is getting things snuggled inside you that we can't give it in the outside world. Time in Mum is so good (mine had to come out early due to complications).
It's a really scary time to be pregnant too. I am as well and should be having monitoring after the complications I had last time but it's all up in the air and I feel quite adrift. I've always had really strong fears around birth that I had mental health support with last time. I totally understand the feeling of just wanting them out and safe. But too early is not the way.
If you've identified tiktok/Instagram trigger your anxiety then stay away from that.
I think you've done really well to reach out on Mumsnet, keep doing that if you find it helpful, we'll be here.
I just want to say I really understand your fears. I sympathise greatly with you, I've been there and I will get there as I get nearer the end with this oregnancy especially after my previous experience. I'm sorry you don't seem to be having the best support from the MH team. I hope you can discuss all this at your appointment, good luck

[cantshakethis]

Sorry to hear this, it sounds awful. But I would assume that the risks are higher if you deliver a baby too early rather than go full term

[BruceAndMarley]

@2020mumtobee thank you for not reading and running x

[2020mumtobee]

Didn't want to read and run. I don't have any experience in this but try as much as you can to reach full term and ultimately the health of your baby with be better. Xx