Hi all just looking for abit of support really, me and my dp are both 18- 19 in May. We have always had a very strong, stable relationship and always get told we're very mature. We rent privately in a lovely quiet area both hard working and have never been too strapped for cash. We decided to have a baby at a point in our lives where we just felt ready, age has never been an obstacle for us. Anyway trying to cut a long story short, our little girl is now coming up to 2 months old next week. She's amazing and beyond beautiful- just perfect. However, recently I've noticed a change in my dp's behaviour.. He's been isolating himself to the point that he'll go on walks alone for hours on end before me and bubba have even woke up. He's had 2 major anxiety attacks in the past 2 weeks- one of which a paramedic had to be called because he physically couldn't catch his breath. Before we had our little girl he was the most confident outgoing person, and my rock throughout the whole pregnancy. I had a really rough labour resulting in an emergency c section which really knocked him for six but he always seems to bounce back before. He hasn't ever done a night feed and only ever changed one nappy (due to me nagging) at first I thought it was laziness (he's not a lazy person) but now I can see its a lot deeper than that. He hasn't voluntary held the baby in over a month and when I ask if he's having trouble bonding he just says he's tired and cries. Infact tiredness is his excuse for everything, which is ironic as he can sleep through her crying all night! He's the money maker at the moment as I'm the sole care provider, he says work is stressing him out (he's a web developer working from home) it is a very demanding job trying to meet all the deadlines but money has never been a major issue for us so I know it's not that (we have got a lump sum inheritance to fall back on). I've doubted myself and our relationship at times but I love this man so bloody much it hurts and I know he loves me too, he'll reassure me of it until he breaks down in tears! Both our parents have been massive helps with baby but the past 2 days he's bearly got out of bed and has been crying the whole time, he's refused to go to the doctors up until now but first thing in the morning I'm booking him an appointment. I cherish every moment I spend with my little girl but he seems to want to give her to his mum at every opertunity possible, which upsets me because I hate being away from her! I've done some research and every result seems to lead me to male postnatal depression but until now I didn't even know this existed? Well I had no reason to. Just wanted a hand to hold really and some words of advice? Has anyone been through a similar situation and come out the other end? What is the way forward?
Thankyou for reading, sorry it's so long wanted to give a bit of background
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Antenatal/postnatal depression
does my dp have postnatal depression?
21 replies
NewMumm · 27/03/2016 18:56
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