Thinking of asking the DR for antidepressants

[Susie888]

I am starting to think I might need to ask the DR for antidepressants. I had only recently started taking Citralopram before I found out it was pregnant and came off it immediately when I went to the DR. I am just fed up of feeling low. I have tried loads of things... yoga, exercise (which is now getting harder as I am almost 36 weeks), listening to positive affirmations to try and build my self esteem etc etc. I used to exercise and go out drinking with my friends quite a lot before I was pregnant so although the depression/anxiety was not caused by the pregnancy (more work and relationship stress usual personal reasons) I do believe it has made it harder for me to pull myself out of the rut so to speak.

I am worried about the baby though. I want to breastfeed. I have seen the perinatal team and dr previously but kind of played down my feelings as I am scared that if I show I am not coping with my moods then they might look down on me, see me as an unfit mother and pass me over to social services or something awful like that, which isn't helped by my moods and me thinking that maybe that would not be such a bad idea.

I have suffered from depression in the past but always managed to drag myself out of it, usually after 6 months or so by socialising and going out/exercising and sometimes with the aid of anti-d's.

I just feel frustrated that I can't or don't want to do those things because of the pregnancy and feel it a bit of a catch 22. Get pills and harm baby (?) plus end up getting monitored - I am a very private person and dread this... or don't say anything to DR and go on struggling.

I have experience with depression so I do manage to get myself moving (is easier now on maternity leave) and get dressed talk to friends and family occasionally but ijust feel like its becoming so hard. If I was in a 'good' mood things would just be so much easier. I don't feel like this is something I can 'just' talk about. I have done plenty of that (plus loads of posts on here) but I am now starting to think that anti-d's might just be worth a shot.

Anyone got any experience with this - what did u say to the DR?
What was their approach? Were you made to feel like a bad mum/mum to be? Were you strictly monitored/refered to social services after? positive and negative stories welcome - I can take it!

I have been putting on a 'brave face' so far with the DR and am really anxious about letting it slip although I have made an appointment with DR (male unfortuately as the female DR is on hol till 16th july and I am getting fed up).

I am so worried about saying something that will cause me to be monitored/refferd on for being a bad mum. Please note that I am also currently trying to get some kind of talking treatment but this has never been that effective for me in the past as i don't like to feel different, I am hoping i could take anti-d's to give me the strength to just tackle lifes issues and get on with 'normal life' without it being such a chore and joyless.

[didireallysaythat]

I hope the counselling session is good and that your GP is more sympathetic. I admit that I pick and choose who I see at our surgery and went to see a GP who had been fabulous with my son. If there's one with a paediatric specialism I'd choose them.

Fingers crossed for everything

[Susie888]

Hi all, thanks for your comments. I have finally bitten the bullet and screwed the NHS (sorry but I have really lost my patience with the communication/service I have been given since revealing my struggles with mood and depression/anxiety allowing myself to get fobbed off and not taking it seriously etc) and have booked a session today with a counselor (private unfortunately but am gonna use some of my Maternity money - thanks to my supportive husband to fund this - not happy about this but hoping I will not let that get too much in my way of seeking help).

I have still got my DR appointment on Thursday where I hope to talk about medication but I am not banking on getting much from them - I am seeing a male DR - last time I saw a male DR at my surgery I was so dissapointed I self referred to the hospital for pregnancy as I was so dissapointed with the service. Anyway I am hoping that this counselling will make me feel stronger even if drugs are not recommended.

I still feel guilty and worried I am causing my baby harm and being selfish if I ask for drugs - did any of you guys who have taken meds struggle with this before asking? One of the reasons I am going to the DR is that I am so close to giving birth I feel that surely there is a lot let risk to my baby when he will only be in me for another week or so I just know that some people would not see it that way.

If I feel up to it I am gonna try and post about my counseling session later. I have previously been too upset to post after previous disastrous sessions but fingers crossed for this one.

[didireallysaythat]

There are pregnancy and bf OK antidepressants. I picked some up a couple of weeks before ds2 was born. Never used them but the GP I saw was so supportive that I guess it was what I needed more - someone to understand. Plus the knowledge that there was something I could take to help me. CBT isn't available here but I can see its utility too.

Good luck

[ElectricSheep]

You won't be monitored. Please put that out of your mind. You can see how ineffective strained the system is. The only reason they would 'monitor' is if you neglected your baby - which you won't.

Great that you think an assessment for counselling might be on the way. But if I were you and private is an option I'd go for that and get the ball rolling before baby. Because having a baby can be a stressful business at the best of times and you might decide that a bit of extra support now could help you get in the best shape to cope with birth and newborn?

I know it's wrong having to pay for something that should actually be covered under NHS that you've already paid for through your taxes, but in this case I think you should go for it if you can to head off feeling any worse.

Talking isn't so bad If you find it hard you could start your sessions with a counsellor by talking about why that might be diificult and come up with some ideas together to help address that. Take care x

[Susie888]

Hi ElectricSheep, thanks for your message. In terms of the CBT/counselling - that is what I have been trying to do for the last few months but poss due to where I live (London) it has been something which has not been so forthcoming (calls to MH team by me to find no trace of a referral, several DR visits etc etc - that sort of thing). I just doubt you would have to fight so hard or 'take matters into your own hands' if you had a broken leg!
I use self help and feel that I just want my mood to improve - hence wondering if anti-d's might just be the answer now. going through this process of trying to get counselling on the NHS (still not got it but might have an assessment coming up - yay!) has just drained things for me. I have considered going private and my DH is willing to pay but it is expensive and if I am honest I don't think it 'should' have to be like this... I wonder if you have to go really overboard/breakdown in the DR or threaten suicide just to be taken seriously (sorry if that offends anyone - these things are serious I know I just get to the end of my teather sometimes). I have tried really hard to 'hold it together' in DR and perinatal appointments and am quite articulate so really prob only have myself to blame for them not taking my case that seriously. Like I have said in previous posts I am just so worried about being monitored/want to be left in peace to bring up my baby and endless rounds of conselling referals and having to 'talk' I am not sure I want.

[ElectricSheep]

Sorry you're feeling down. You won't get referred by GP to anyone. There are so many people with depression they couldn't possibly refer, it's just far too common.

I don't know if there are ant anti -ds that you can take while pg, but they might offer counselling/CBT as an alternative. Might be worth trying to get how you're feeling addressed before birth as feeling knackered, possibly in pain etc might make it worse. Sorry that doesn't sound very positive, but what I'm trying to say is you have nothing to lose by going to the GP and a lot to potentially gain. Good luck. x