First time poster, long time lurker so please be gentle, and I apologize if I break any rules.
As a background, I have a much wanted 7 week old daughter and a wonderful husband who is more than pulling his weight and holding down a full time job.
I feel like crying most of the day as I can t cope with the change to my life, I knew things would change, but honestly, if I'd known things would belike this, I ddon't know if I'd have had a baby. I then feel awful thinking this and am terrified that I've jinxed her and that something will happen to her to teach me a lesson.
I can't cope with her crying as I feel that she's unhappy with me as a crap mum.
I'm pretty lucky as my husbandis amazing, and my baby feeds on a nice 3 hrs routine without us trying and she'll often go 6 hrs overnight..
Dr has started me on anti depressents and I'm going to start seeing a counseller but I can't see any point in the future where I won't feel like this.
I'm fed up of sitting on the sofa crying and not being the wife and mummy that my wonderful family deserve.
Thank you to anyone who has made it to the end of my self indulgent waffle, and hand holding to anyone else on the and/pnd forum who feels as rough as I do
Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.
Antenatal/postnatal depression
am feeling so miserable
Lizlette · 07/01/2013 12:07
the walk yesterday morning was a really good idea, definitely felt better by the time I got back, and it put dd to sleep so she was in a better mood and the cold is on it's way out 
it also feels as though the antidepressants are starting to kick in.
hope everyone else is having a good week and avoiding all the winter bugs that are out there. x
how did everyone's Monday turn out in the end?
My poor daughter's so uncomfortable, and coz she's all blocked up she can't breathe and feed at the same time, so she's using so much energy to suck, then breathe, then suck, then breathe that she's falling asleep after about 15 minutes feed, then waking up half hour later because she's still hungry because she's had less than half her usual feed 
got some saline drops from the chemist which she absolutely hates, and I don't know if they're doing her any good to make it worth the torment of getting them up her nose.
anyone have any tips for de-snotting an 8 week old, or making her more comfortable while she fights this?
It's horrible when they are ill, it does make you feel a bit useless and there is very little you can give them. Poor little things. My day wasn't bad. Out and about lots today. We shall see what tomorrow brings... 
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Did have few good days, not so good today as poor baby is full of a cold which has made her really miserable and I feel terrible that I can't make it better for her , poor little mite.
Hi liz, you sound really positive , glad you've had a great few days!
Hi blushing, sorry you've had a rough day or so. Speak to your Gp, I'm sure they will be able to give you some good advice. From what liz says, if you get any side effects it might be a good idea to have some plans in place to cope with it. Maybe some outings with baby or something just for you? Hope you are both having a good day today, I'm off to learn baby CPR?!! Anything to get out of the house. I have been jogging this morning as well! 
Glad it's been a good weekend whatname , hope the nct meeting goes well.
hi blushing, sorry you've not had a great couple of days.
the ad's that I waas given are sertraline 50mg which are fine for breastfeeding mums. I was told that they can take 4-6 weeks to get to maximum effectiveness, and that you can feel worse for the first couple of weeks while your body gets used to them,
like all drugs, there is a massive list of side effects listed in the leaflet in the box, but the ones that I got were a couple of days of no appetite and being really really tired, and about 4 or 5 days of a dodgy tummy. Everything seems to have settled down now as far as I can tell.
I hated that I needed to take tablets to cope, but my dr pointed out that if, for example, I had high blood pressure, I wouldn't feel bad about taking tablets to help my body cope, so why did i feel bad about taking tablets to help my mind cope with low mood? It made a lot of sense when she put it like that.
Hope that you have a good day tomorrow and that you feel better. 
Hey, good to hear you guys have been having good days! I'm feeling really down today, possibly because I haven't left the house. I just feel so trapped, hopeless and anxious. Considering on asking my GP for some antidepressants - can anyone give me some advice; which ones can I take while breastfeeding, how do they make you feel and what are the side effects?
pretty good day here, hope it's been good for everyone else
Fallen - its very true. We all get there in the end.
Liz - it's great that you were so confident to take baby out on the bus and after a c section! I am truly impressed. I'm sure that everyone on the bus had had a similar experience, or will at some point. It is horrible though, I always feel like the worst person in the world when I can't stop him crying, I'm sure most people are the same. Hopefully the next few weeks will be better and better and you won't have to worry about changing tablets.
Blushing - baby massage went well. It's quite a small group and everyone is local
I'm trying to keep busy and have something I 'have' to go to each day. My mantra has become "must leave the house"
I'm glad we can all hand hold, it is incredibly lonely sometimes
whatname, I was hoping that this thread could be a hand holding group for anyone that was having a bit of a rough time rather than just a 'poor me'kind of thing so please don't worry.
went back to the dr today (say what you like about the nhs, this dr is keeping a really good eye on me and is very supportive) as the better mood is nowhere near consistent, and she mentioned that it can take 4 to 6 weeks for the antidepressants to get into your system and they can then be certain that they've given me the right type.
slightly scary that it can take that long, and then if they don't fit I'll have to start another lot and go through another set of side effects , am still dealing with the side effects of this type although they seem to be starting to tail off.
tackled the bus into town to try and get out and about (had a c section so still can't walk far and hubby had the car). baby was fine on the way in, but screamed the whole way home on a packed bus. felt like the entire bus was glaring at me, and I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. might wait until I can walk into town before I go again!
Parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint, 7 weeks is far too early to be kicking yourself so try not to.
Worry only about what you can control, let everything else whistle for a while. I'm sure your doing far better than your giving yourself credit for
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When I was very low with ds2 (the novelty of being at home had worn off after ds1) a lovely lady told me about groups where depressed mothers get together to support and share...my response was,"Can you imagine a bunch of us all in one room? " ...she said, "at least you haven't lost your sense of humour!"
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