to NOT lend my friend money to save her business?

[littleblu]

I have a friend who has been running her business for a few years now, the recession and bad luck have meant she is not doing well at all. Her house and everything is tied up with the business too. She's borrowed money from her family to save the business recently ( a very large sum ) and now the banks want more or they'll close on her. She hasn't been very clear about what this means though.

I could probably scrape together what the banks are asking her for, but think I'm not doing her any favours really, probably getting her into more debt in the long run. I really don't think I'll get it back.

I love her dearly and don't want to see her lose her house (and her marriage in the process probably) but feel really bad about saying no.

Advice please.......

Oh and she was talking about going on holiday, and I suspect that her DH doesn't know what's going on so she's keeping up appearances.

[DaftApeth]

Of course, very wise

[littleblu]

Can't really say Daftapeth, I'm being really careful about what I say on here in case anyone knows her.

[DaftApeth]

What sort of company is it?

Is it likely to get more business?

[littleblu]

update - seems her family have agreed again, still don't think her dh knows anything about it. So I'm relieved for her, just wonder how long till she asks again.

Thanks for all the advice, helps to know everyone thought the same

[forehead]

Don't do it.

[fannybanjo]

Never ever ever lend money to a friend if you want to (a) keep your friendship and (b) see your money again. One thing about lending someone money who has massive debts is that they are loathe to pay it back.

[jasper]

No, don't do it.
A friend lent another £3000 as a short term measure to stop her getting evicted.

4 years on she has not been paid back

[TheUsefulSuspect]

For a start you're friend should not have asked.

If it is a case of you scraping the money together then you certainly should not consider throwing money at a problem that has already wiped out her money and seemingly her families cash reserves.

As others have said, if you were minted and could in effect "give" her the money, and you thought she could actually turn it around then you could consider it.

It seems that she is just trying everything to save a business beyond saving, and you will not get your money back.

She might get annoyed, but let's face it, if you lend her the money and don't get it back then your friendship will be dead in the water anyway.

I am currently owed less than 500 by a friend of mine, and despite owing me this they have managed to move, go on holiday, go away for the weekend and go out most weeks. Not the friend I thought they were quite clearly.

[Stigaloid]

Don't lend her any money - it is her business and she has to deal with it. She should never have tied her mortgage up with her business and it was a risk she and her husband would have taken knowing that this could happen. it is not for you to risk your own family's finances for her - although it shows a kind and considerate nature - it is not worth risking your family for someone else's business.

[LilyLoovesGuyFawkes]

Liitleblu that sounds like a good idea!

[GroundhogsRocketScientist]

Friends and money are like Oil and Water. They just don't mix.

[reservejudgement]

littleblu, I think that is wise and you sound like a lovely friend!

[littleblu]

thanks for all the good advice, I just need to tell her now. Mostly that I'm here for emotional support not financial.

I'm going to earmark a little money that I can afford to GIVE her, so that if it all does go tit's up I'm more than happy to help her out for rent/food etc if she needs it.

[solongpumpkin]

Its very sad that your friend might lose her business and house but it would be far worse for her to drag her family and friends' financial futures down with her. If you never saw your money again (highly likely) she would feel guilty and you would feel resentful.

Maybe you can offer her emotional/practical support instead.

[MillyMollyMoo]

I run my business so that I could clear all my debt in 7 days if I had to and that was the way I was taught back in ye olden days of 1997 and i've stuck to it throughout the credit binge, no way would I ever risk our family home or childrens future.
If we couldn't pay our bills at any time then it would have been game over.
Oh and chase your bank because Natwest Streamline haven't slowed down any processing at all.

[Winibaghoul]

It's as Warren Buffet says 'when the tide goes out, you find out who's been swimming naked'
That's what has happened in this recession - it's shown that too many businesses have been built on credit, now with credit no longer easily accessible they're going under.
money is tight for everyone, YANBU at all not to lend her the money.

[bumpsoon]

sorry ,really didnt mean to interfere ,it just sounded like a woman from a rescue could rehome your dog this weekend if that was still what you needed .Shall b*gger orf now

[Confuzzeled]

My dh and I have a business that is struggling, we have borrowed money to survive and it might not be enough to get us through so I understand where your friend is coming from.

Saying that the business isn't viable might not be the case, other factors might be pulling it down.

In our case we had a bad year last year but our business is now getting stronger. The problem is our creditors changing credit terms from 90 days plus to 30 days. Nobody offering payment plans and the banks taking longer to process credit card payments so our money is tied up for longer. The way people conduct business has changed and it's killing hundreds of small businesses.

My advice is to ask to see your friends accounts, is she making money and is she likely to be able to set up a payment plan to make sure you get your money back.

[MillyMollyMoo]

bumpsoon I have that topic on ignore I think I've had all the advice I take thank you.

[MorrisZapp]

Christ! Don't give her a penny.

Does anybody else remember that episode of SATC when Carrie realises that she's spent all her money on inconsequential pish, and then berates her friend Charlotte for not offering her a loan?

I'm still scratching my head over that one.

[bumpsoon]

Milly valhalla has put a message on the pets boeard for you ,sorry for hijack

[MillyMollyMoo]

I'm afraid the truth is if your business is built on credit and loans it isn't a viable business and this is what a lot people who've been playing shop for the past 10 years are learning the hard way.
She'll pick herself up and start again, you or the banks bailing her out is not the answer.

[Morloth]

I agree with NancyBotwin if you can't afford to give it (with no strings) then you can't afford to lend it. The strain money can put on relationships is horrible.

[porcamiseria]

NO, YANBU. I would never dream of asking a friend for this.