AIBU- SIL and childcare

[johnthepong]

OK this might be a bit long but I want to get all the facts in.
I am training to be a teacher and I have a childminder who is fantastic and flexible (which is great as I dont need her when Im not in school- ). Only problem is that the childminder goes to college on a thurs eve, so the children have to be collected/dropped off early. We decided we would work it out on a week by week basis (every other week I have a free last period so its not a problem then, I can come home early), and between my parents, my husband, the next door neighbours etc, we would manage to find childcare for this hour period from 3-4pm every other thursday.
Anyway, SIL quits her job and offered to babysit for an hour every other thursday. Great. So she has done a couple of thursdays, and it was agreed that she would babysit this thursday. I was actually due to have parents evening at school tonight so she agreed she would stay until 5pm when I would be home.

HOwever, in the meantime, I found out I had all my pupils appointments finished by 3pm, so I thought I would make the opportunity of having a guaranteed child free hour whilst SIL babysat and make an appointment with the dr (long overdue but I find it impossible to go to the dr due to h working away alot and unpredictable hours). I know this is irrelevant but I really needed a dr appointment without the kids as the dr needed to check my coil.

At 3pm I got a phone call from the childminder today to say that SIL wasnt there. I was livid and went to pick the kids up myself and ended up having to take the kids to the dr with me- consequently the dr had a few stern words with me about not being able to do the examination she needed due to the kids being there.

I am so angry with SIL not being there, h rang her and finally got through to her and she said she had a flat tyre and had to pump it up thats why she was late. TBH I dont believe this- if it was a flat tyre, why couldnt she just come anyway (she lives a 5 min drive away). Or even text/call me to let me know she wouldnt be there for the kids.

H is being really pathetic and saying because she babysits for us for free then its ok, but, whilst I appreciate her babysitting for free, she needs to let us know if she isnt going to be able to do it.

Childminder was also late for college.

AIBU for being angry and thinking if you have an arrangement with someone then its common courtesy for them to let you know if they cant do it any more.

[cory]

agree, the person who is really out of order is the GP. assuming that the 1yo is strapped into buggy and not wandering around surgery and that the 3yo has something to occupy her/him, there is no reason for not doing an internal examination with 2 children present- midwives have to do it all the time

[artlesschaos]

Yes, your SIL should have phoned/text you to let you know she couldn't collect the kids but your GP is being ridiculous to refuse to check your coi, especially in view of a history of a 2 month bleed.
I had a smear test with my then 2 yr old and 4 month old present. The toddler was playing on the floor and the baby was in the pram...awake. What is the problem? It's hardly going to traumatise them and if they're distracted...

[ConnieComplaint]

I had my smear test done with my 7-year-old present...... I needed it done & the only time I could be fitted in was when she had a day off school!

[ravenAK]

Yes, GP should've been willing to do the exam in the dc's presence if the OP was fine with doing so.

SIL should have let you/CM know she'd be late, but tbh, no major disaster in the grand scheme of things...worst outcome was CM being late for college, which could happen to anyone as a one-off.

I would just say to SIL that you'll be making other arrangements next time, as you can't have CM mucked about when you've agreed prompt pick up on this particular day.

But don't have a row with her - her excuse could be perfectly genuine, & anyway, in the scheme of things, you might want her to babysit some time.

I'd present it as 'really grateful for you offering, & helping out, but it's just not practical if you can't be there on time, & it's not fair on you if I end up having a go at you because I've been dropped in the shit like today...we'll only end up falling out & I'd hate that...'

[WelliesAndPyjamas]

Very odd of the GP. I had my coil fitted with my baby sitting on my chest and the nurse blowing raspberries at him . It would be different if they were older - say, 4/5 or older - but in any case there are curtains for privacy.

SIL also odd for disappearing off the radar when children needed to be picked up. Irresponsible.

[alicet]

Gosh wellies you're braver than me! Happy to have coil check with ds 1 & 2 aged 3 and 1 but was fairly uncomfortable having it fitted and wouldn't have wanted them there for that delightful experience !!!!

[WelliesAndPyjamas]

oh it wasn't exactly ummmm, comfortable , but I had little choice! I kept telling myself that if I could cope with childbirth then this was nothing

[sowhatis]

GP being silly, i have had similar done with kids their - i was beinhd curtain and chatting to them, it was fine, not ideal, but do-able.

as for sil, wierd she didnt call, but i think you jsut have to let it go. it would really piss me off aswell.

x