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AIBU?

to be upset at my best friend

37 replies

blushrose · 19/09/2009 14:59

I am leaving next week to move to another city. My leaving do/drinks are tonight. I invited everyone a month ago, my best friend says 'I should be free but it's DP's birthday on the Thursday so we might be doing something"

Anyway on Thursday she and her DP had a cosy night in, she cooked dinner for him etc. So I said great I'll be seeing you on Saturday then? Answer was no, as 'a couple of friends are coming round for dinner for DP's birthday'

AIBU in thinking she should be coming to my leaving do? And that the friends for dinner should have been arranged for another night seeing as she must have known when she invited them that I had my drinks for tonight?

Ok I know it's his birthday but I'd like to think if I was in her shoes I'd have said 'blushrose is leaving and it's important for me to go to her drinks'

I'm not going to see her for months now.

OP posts:

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Knickers0nmahead · 21/09/2009 12:39

I remember something similar to chillohippi happening to me, but I was the other person.

I was meant to be meeting bf at a play centre on my birthday. Dp was going to drop me off there. But instead, he took me out for a nice meal instead, as a suprise. I couldn't let friend know until I got home as I had left my phone there.

junglist1 · 20/09/2009 20:44

OP that isn't a best friend. She's one of those nasty fake types by the sound of it, with groundhogs here 100% get rid of the trash.

Knickers0nmahead · 20/09/2009 20:14

I know this may sound horrible but some people would rather spend time with their family on birthdays.

Hope you had a nice time anyways.

ChilloHippi · 19/09/2009 20:01

I do try to be nice

lavenderkate · 19/09/2009 19:27

OHHHH!! Chillo that's truly awful. Poor you.
If you had done that for me I would have been so thrilled. What a lovely person you are honeybun!
my birthday is not far off hint hint

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 19/09/2009 19:26

Some friend.

ChilloHippi · 19/09/2009 19:17

She ignored my texts for a couple of hours and then replied that she had gone somewhere else instead. No apology, nothing.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 19/09/2009 19:12

Did she give you a reason, CH.

I once waited over an hour for a friend and then I went home. She rang and never apologised as well as making me feel bad that I gave up after an hour.

ChilloHippi · 19/09/2009 18:24

That's better than what happened to me, lavenderkate: I once sat in a cafe waiting for a friend on her birthday. I had a cake, a balloon and presents. She didn't turn up

Docbunches · 19/09/2009 17:46

YANBU. I would feel deeply upset if I were you. She sounds like someone who has to be doing 'couple-y' things and can't bear to be away from her DP (I could be wrong, but whatever her reason there's no excuse for her selfish and insensitive behaviour, IMO).

I hope you have a lovely evening anyway!

lavenderkate · 19/09/2009 17:26

People are strange.
I threw my close friend a leaving party and havent heard from her since she left 6 wks ago!

Have a lovely time tonight.

EvilEdnasTwinSister · 19/09/2009 17:25

OP:
I hope you have a good evening; don't let her attitude bother you

OrmIrian · 19/09/2009 17:19

Have a good night OP and don't let her spoil your evening. I think it's very unkind of her FWIW

blushrose · 19/09/2009 17:16

groundhogs, you are right you know! i would have done!

diddl yes her DP could have come too, he was more than welcome

Anyway, i am here with another friend (who has driven miles to be here), we have been out for a glass of vino and now she is making dinner (aah) while I toodle off to the shower, then it is getting ready time and we are hitting the town!

Hopefully lots of other people will turn up!

Thank you for your replies, I will probably cool it off with her then mention this as the reason if she asks why, but for tonight, music on, cocktails to be mixed, it is party time

OP posts:

ChilloHippi · 19/09/2009 16:11

I would be extremely offended and would call it a day with regard to that friendship.

FranSanDisco · 19/09/2009 16:11

Oh that's not on. I had a similar friend. Ditch her.

groundhogs · 19/09/2009 15:57

Actually, you know, she really HAS bailed, if she were that much of a BF, she'd have thrown you a bloody party, not dodged yours and arranged her own litte soiree for some friends.... and DP could have joined in for a bonus celebration!!

Outrageous, ditch her and never talk to her again. She is no loss to you at all, better she let you down over this, than at a time when your life etc depended on it...

The Cow!

groundhogs · 19/09/2009 15:54

It's a great shame, and as hurt as you feel, - I had my BF bail on me on my hen night, that was kind of it for me.

If she's been bailing since your birthday, then for some unknown reason, you are not her BF. Move, and don't look back.

Perhaps she has difficulty in saying goodbyes??? shite reason, but we are all irrational about something.

Ditch her anyway, and you will definately find new friends in your new place.

diddl · 19/09/2009 15:25

Oops!!
Stop that moing!!
Moving, of course.

and have a good time!

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 19/09/2009 15:25

You being single is irrelevant.

diddl · 19/09/2009 15:23

Could her partner not have come too?

Is she jealous that you are moing?

Is her partner controlling?

Try not to dwell on it and hae a good time.

YANBU, it doesn´t sound as if she has made much effort.

skidoodle · 19/09/2009 15:21

No, she is not acting like a best friend.

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franklymydear · 19/09/2009 15:20

I think I'd reassess just who is your best friend

GibbonInARibbon · 19/09/2009 15:18

I would be upset, YANBU.

Enjoy your evening and try not to dwell on it

echofalls · 19/09/2009 15:18

me too she is not acting like a best friend

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