To think that this is workplace discrimination?

[poshsinglemum]

Or am I just shite at my job. I suspect I am.

I got pregnant two months into a new job that had a lot of potential. It was shit timing for me and my employers. I felt really guilty telling them. They also knew that I was facing the pregnancy alone as my boyfriend was being an arsehole.

Before I told my employers that I was pregnant I was an emotional wreck and could not focus on work as my boyfriend was putting a lot of pressuer on me to get an abortion and I was really torn about what to do.

I was teaching btw and during this time I upset one of the students as I told him off. You have to understand that nowadays, syudents get very indignant at being told off as they ''know their rights.'' To be fair, my teaching was poor as I was a mess.

This said student started a hate site in on the internet about me. A few of my students wrote some very nasty comments about me including a violent comment about me. When they found out I was pregnant then one of the students threatened violence to my unborn child.

Of course this all came to light and I was devastated. My manager had a meeting with me and told me that they had to examine why this happened. He told me that I should not have told the students I was pregnant. (Hello- I had a bump and they guessed anyway.) He also told me that if my teaching was better then they wouldn't have written this stuff about me.I walked out of the meeting.

AIBU to think that he was being out of order. Even if I was the worst teacher on the planet it dosn't excuse students writing violent comments about me.
I feel that they disapproved of me being pregnant alone and wanted to deflect blame onto me ratrher than the students.

i feel like I left that job on a bad note and I am worried about references. Although after the way I've been treated mabe teaching isn't the best option for me.

I can admit that I was a crap teacher and that I didn't react to the revelation in an entirely professional manner but then I was pregnant, alone and scared. I am very upset about all this and am not sure how to come to terms with it.

[tethersend]

All the best

[KembleTwins]

Good luck posh!

[slug]

Smile, grit your teeth, jump through the hoops, then get on with doing it you way afterwards. I'm glad you decided to give it another go.

[poshsinglemum]

I meant to say teacher persona inside the classroom and civilian persona outside the classroom.

[poshsinglemum]

Hi all again.

I think I am going to give my NQT year one last chance when dd is two.
I am not going to let the cyber bullying get me down. If anything, if I have experienced that early on then nothing else is going to shock me.
I definately have a teacher persona. What I have found hardest about the PGCE/NQT year is the constant observation and subsequent projection of how other people want you to taech rather than being allowed to develop your own style.
I have always done well at my TEFL teaching where I have not been observed and I am allowed to be myself with my students. I have developed strong bonds with my TEFL classes as I have no targets to meet and the politics is more relaxed.

On my NQT year I will just have to grit my teeth and pay lip service to SMP. If I still don't pass then I shall take my services to a new profession. I am lucky that I still have a chance to do my NQT year as I was teaching offshore when I was cyber bullied.

[heartmoonshadow]

Hi,

Like you I had a really crap NQT year - in fact was subjected to OFSTED and got no help to prepare so was slated badly. Anyway to cut a long story short I gritted my teeth asked the LEA to observe me and not the school (as advised by NASUWT). They passed me as 'good' for most lessons whereas school said I unsatisfactory (basically my face did not fit!). I then got another job using the LEA rep as my reference not the school - I explained at interview that I had to involve the Union and that the school I was at had issues (11 out of 14 teachers had union involvement against the SMT - i.e all but the SMT!)

I now enjoy a fulfilling job in a fab school where when we were subjected to OFSTED I got good with some outstanding for my lesson - so don't give up the right school is there for you!

HMS

[shockers]

I wonder if your manager goes through this self examination... I'd guess not. He sounds as crap at his job as you think you are at yours. He is supposed to support you and help you to deal constructively with any difficulties that may be affecting your performance at work or even your physical and mental wellbeing.
Good luck.

[KembleTwins]

IMO the first stage to good classroom management is good planning. If you have an interesting, varied and engaging lesson planned (and make it a priority to consistently do so) you're halfway there before you've even started, whether you're a 6'2 rugby lad or a 4'8 mouse.

I am not tall, and do not play rugby. Neither am I a man. But I no longer have any classroom management issues (NB - no longer being the important bit. I did at first - who doesn't?)

[more]

Lol at my husband being a rugby lad kind of person. He is one of these laid back, allergic to any kind of sports people. However I have a feeling that when he goes into that classroom he "oozes" authority and makes sure that they know that he is in charge not them.

[slug]

Being able to control a classroom is a matter of practise and knowing a few tricks. Nobody gets it right the first time, it comes with experience. I strongly recommend you watch how other teachers do it and shamelessly steal their best techniques. Much has to do with sheer force of personality. If you don't have that forceful personality, fake it. This attitude took me succesfully through over a decade teaching in a very challening environment. I put on my teacher personality when I went to work and took it off when I went home.

I kind of agree that student hold a degree of power that they didn't have a few years ago and that many exploit it. However, as I always said to my students.."At the end of the year, who is going to sit those exams? You or me? You can moan, complain, procrastinate, make trouble and mess around all you like, but it is you who are going to be in the exam room trying to remember all the things you missed. Ultimately it is you who is responsible for your result, not me." The fact that you are not particularly ambitious is also a point in your favour. How much fun is it trying to sabotage thecareer of a teacher who does not really care that much about it?

I also think there is much value to be had in seeing the bigger picture about education. The fact is, most students will not get As. So why endlessly push for high grades when for some, a C is a real achievement and one to be celebrated?

It seems to me you actually have a lot to give the teaching profession. Not all schools suit all teachers. You just need to find the one that fits you. Please don't give up because of one bad experience.

[dollyparting]

From your lists it sounds like you need to think of other ways to share your enthusiasm for your subject.

From the experience of my friends who teach, the long holidays and a regular salary are not enough if you are stressed by managing a large group or if you are constantly fighting discipline.

I don't agree that you do have to be "an imposing rugby lad, or hard woman" to exert discipline, but as I have said in a previous post, if you don't have that self-confidence in your own ability to be in charge in the classroom, and if you have an underlying belief that teachers have less power than students, then it is going to be an uphill battle every day.

However you are currently enjoying your time at home with your dd and not surprisingly your focus is not on your future career as a teacher. perhaps by the time comes for you to go back you will feel more settled and able to faces the challenges of your NQT year.

[poshsinglemum]

Hi all,

Thank you for so many interesting and informative responses.
It's good that this thread was hijacked as I have learned about references.

Honeydew- I am very interested in what you had to say. I am in no way blind to the challenges that lie ahead and if I didn't think I could cope - I would have terminated.
Luckily for me, I was living with a single mum at the time and she has a thriving career inb a senior position and her daughter is about to go to University and has turned out great.

I am coping well as a sty at home single mum. I love it and I have no doubt in my mind that I would be miserable if I was still with the dad. So no worries there.

My main concern is how I will cope with a two year old on teh NQT year but others have done it so mabe I can too.

I have compiled two lists of why I like teaching and why I don't.

Reasons to teach

I love my subject and want to share my enthusiasm with my students.

I like teenagers generally.

I like doing extra curricular activities.

Long holidays are great with kids.

Good wage.

Reasons to leave the profession;

I had an awful time at school and was bullied mercilessly as I was apparently fugly! (at a very posh private school)

I think that the profession does foster a culture of bullying.

I feel very uncomfortable by the current power balance between teachers and students. Teachers have no power whereas students have lots of power. As a teacher you will always be at fault.

I am not great at discipline. I think that the best teachesr are imposing rugby lads or really hard women. I'm not like that.

I do like working with others but not with so amny people all at once. I often feel likew I am being fired at from all sides.

I am fairly relaxed about my career. In all honesty- I would be ok working in a shop as long as I had fdurther ambitions. From my experience at my so-called excellent private school, I am more than happy to send dd to the comp.

I am never going to be one of those parents who frets about dd's grades as I am more interested in her being happy than a high flyer. My parents put too much pressure on em and it made me miserable. If dd wants to be a high flyer and succeed then I will encourage her and be happy for her but if she is not so academic.

I am content being a single mum and I don't think that it is the end of my professional life. If anything it has inspired me and given me time to reconsider my options.

[tethersend]

londonone- Out of curiousity, are you a teacher? Have you had a bad experience with the NUT? It's just that I have never met another teacher whose working conditions have not been improved by a union, and who did not acknowledge this. Perhaps I have been working in exclusively left-wing schools.... but I doubt it. I suppose our realities are different. Obviously, KembleTwins, our realities are pretty similar

I also think we may have hijacked this post; apologies poshsinglemum.

[KembleTwins]

londonone I think you'll find that tethersend is quite correct and that both the NUT and the NASUWT have indeed been influencial. My Dad, before he retired, was on the national exeutive for the NAS and I know for a fact that he sat on several committees whose purpose was to help the government make policy where it came to teachers pay and conditions.

[londonone]

I think tethersend that the NUT like to think that they are influential but in reality they are not.

Well said violethill.

[violethill]

Agree that it is bad form to dwell on negatives in a reference. As someone who has written numerous references over the years, if I had a request to be a referee for someone I did not feel comfortable to comment on, I would suggest they use someone else. When I have been in a position of having to write a reference for someone about whom I have professional misgivings, it is perfectly possible to write a factual reference which is not remotely libellous and which makes clear that the candidate is not up to scratch. What is left out is often as important as what is included.

Also, although sometimes I am asked to provide a fairly general reference, I'm finding that more frequently, reference requests are very specific, with targeted questions about particular skills, abilities etc, and usually a specific request for number of days absent over the previous couple of years etc

While I accept that in some cases, a trainee teacher can have a hard time in some schools yet flourish in another situation, it also has to be acknowledged that sometimes people don't make the grade. Why should we be afraid to say this? It's extremely unfair on the future employer, and more importantly, future pupils, to portray a candidate as better than they are.

[tethersend]

I think the NUT is a little more influential on teaching/working practices than you think- them 'not liking something' has led to massive changes in teachers' working conditions over the years (PPA time is a good example). Please remember that 'someone being terrible at their job' can be a subjective point of view- I have seen terrible NQTs blossom into fantastic teachers, and some teachers are 'terrible' in one school and amazing in another. I am not suggesting for a minute that there are not incompetent teachers out there, but I think we should keep the posts relevant to the OP, and take into account some hugely mitigating factors that were present during her first year of teaching, and think about what kind of reference she is likely to receive, although I appreciate we don't know all the ins and outs of the situation.
A negative reference is rarely warranted.

[KembleTwins]

I think it's bad form whatever the job is. As far as I know, and not just in teaching, giving a negative reference is just not done - if a negative reference is the only type that can reasonably be given, the usual thing is to refuse to give one. As Tethersend said, giving a bad reference can, as a worst-case scenario, lead to accusations of libel.
I agree lying in a reference is wrong, hence the action outlined above. I totally disagree with you statement that "most heads are perfectly clear that they are entitled to give a negative reference". No. Definitely not. Bad form.

[londonone]

I care because if someone is terrible at their job then they should not get a good reference it is not fair on the new employer. As I said it is a common belief but most heads are perfectly clear that they are entitled to give a negative reference if it is warrented. Just because the NUT don't like something that doesn't make it law despite what they might try and have you believe. There are teachers who are woefully incompetent and giving them unduly positive references isn't helping anyone. References should be accurate.

[KembleTwins]

Taught by the head of dept I was working with before I became head of another dept. He was a very well respected and experienced teacher who had written numerous references over a number of years. Why do you care? Even when writing references for students it's good practice to dwell on any positives and leave negatives out of it. I believe it's very bad form to write a patently negative reference.

[tethersend]

I think it's very unlikely that they would put continual failure to meet targets as part of a reference, as if called up on it, they would have to provide written evidence of each target, dates of assessment, and evidence of failure. Rather, they would do as KembleTwins states- and leave the school to draw their own conclusions.

[londonone]

Taught by who kembletwins? It seems to be one of those big myths in teaching.

[KembleTwins]

Absolutely tethersend. My Dad was on Nat Exec for NAS though so I was able to get top notch advice whenever I needed it!

Posh - you say that you chose to resign. How much of your NQT year did you have left to complete? Are you thinking of applying to schools again?

[tethersend]

KembleTwins - each to their own!

[KembleTwins]

I think Tethersend is right - I was taught that negative things must be left out of a reference, even if it then just reads along the lines of "X taught at Y School from date to date, teaching subject to year groups" It's easy for a new school to read between the lines though.