to think a 7 year old can sleep further than 1 room away from his parents

[wasabipeas]

To cut a long story short, DH has recently got back in touch with his old flatmate from college via facebook and found out that he is living in Singapore with his wife and 7 year old DS.
They were due to come back to the UK for a few weeks, and were angling for somewhere to stay, so DH offered for them to stay with us for a couple of nights when they arrived and also before they leave.
Their DS has never been to London before and they want to do the sights. Staying with us saves them having to book a hotel, and we've got a couple of spare beds so it wouldn't be too much hassle for us.

They arrived as planned on Thursday night. Our DCs were already in bed, but we made them a bit of supper and had a chat.
They then both went upstairs to put their DS to bed.
Our house has got a quite higgledy piggledy layout and all the bedrooms are on slightly different levels with a few stairs in between. The bedroom we'd offered their son is on the first floor, and their room is an attic room.
A few minutes later, the friend came downstairs to say his DW wasn't happy with the sleeping arrangements and didn't want to be that far away (?) from her son in the night. Would it be possible to change rooms.
Which meant them sleeping in our room, which is next door to where their son would be.

In the morning, we were all up and out before they woke up, but when we got home that evening, I asked if they slept ok
"yes, but we were woken up quite early by the shower going in the bathroom"
Errr, yes, that will be DH getting up for work.
I then asked if their DS had slept ok. And yes, he had slept very well and they even had to wake him up this morning.
So I assumed that as all was well, except them being so close to the bathroom, we could have our bed back, but no, the wife was still unhappy because if he needed them in the night, he would have to climb up some stairs.
On Saturday, we thought it would be quite nice for us all to go out together for the day (our DCs are similar ages to their son) but they wanted to take their DS to London on his own. And then they had to catch a train up to Manchester.

DH is a bit down in the dumps that they had no intention of catching up with him, the DCs are wondering why this little boy didn't want to play with them and I'm fuming that I get kicked out of our bed, give them 2 nights of B&B and don't get so much as a bottle of wine as a thank you.

They were supposed to be coming back to stay the night before they catch their flight back, but I'm tempted to tell them to book a hotel
AIBU?

[rupertsabear]

That's very rude, but you can't really uninvite them now. I'd put a mattress on the floor in the guest room for the child, and wouldn't plan to spend time with them or look after them.

[loobylu3]

Even if they have a particularly anxious child (perhaps the product of the over protective mother) they could have dealt with the situation in a more polite way. How rude of them to ask you to move out of your bedroom (and how incredibly kind of you to agree) and then complain about the noise! Definitely don't let them come back. Perhaps you could say that your DCs and you found it disruptive and that you are busy!

[Morloth]

How rude, I would ask them to book a hotel.

DS still sometimes gets a bit scared if he is too far away from us at night in a strange place, but I would probably have just popped him into bed with one of us, while the other went and slept in his room. Without saying a word to the kind friends who were letting us stay at their home for free!

I can't believe you gave them your bedroom and they still had the nerve to complain.

[Tambajam]

I would also want DS to be close to me in strange house. It would be likely he'd wake up and wander the corridors in the middle of the night. But I would probably work out a compromise where DH goes downstairs after a while and moves DS upstairs or we all share upstairs.
I wouldn't expect you to leave your room.
I certainly wouldn't complain about the shower the next morning and I would give and gift and want to spend time with friends.

So I don't think the child needing to be near parents is unreasonable even at 7 but I do think a lot of their behaviour is unreasonable.

[cornsillk]

The mum could have slept in the double bed with her ds if she was worried. That's what I'd have done. Very selfish.

[StealthPolarBear]

I can undersatand that the DS might not want to be too far away -you have no idea what might bother him, but their comments were rude, and agree that's their problem - a mattress on their bedroom floor would have been a more sensible solution!

[cory]

dd used to have a lot of anxiety problems that always got worse in the night

but I would have solved that problem by taking her into my bed for the stay, not by inconveniencing my hosts

[hunkermunker]

You have to let them stay again, or you'll never know if they were going to bring you something to say thank you/be less mental.

[Boys2mam]

I agree Thank You gifts are probably being reserved for when they check out leave and re the trip to London, maybe they did just want to enjoy the 1-2-1 time with their DS? They still sound incredibly ungracious, not at least having a meal with you.

I think the suggestion that the DW sleeps in with the DS in the double room and the bloke stays in the kids designated room is what I would be telling them you'd decided as you 'wouln't want them to be disturbed by the shower again' (, cheeky buggers)

How does your DH feel about them coming back for the final part of their trip?

[frogwatcher]

I wouldnt let my dds sleep on another floor from us to be honest - we dont even at home (have an empty room on second floor). But if it had been me, my dh would have come and said to you that I would be sleeping with son in double up in attic and he would be sleeping in the single on 1st floor (or whatever it was)! I would not expect anybody to change rooms. Bloody rude - and not to give a present on leaving!!!

[LIZS]

if you and/or dh still feel obliged to host them on return leg put a mattress on the floor of room upstairs and cram them in.

[bigchris]

i cant believe they didnt give you anything, ungrateful buggers

[Reallytired]

Many seven year olds do get nightmares and some to occassionally sleep walk. However there are ways around this sort of problem with out inconviencing the host.

I think they did use you. If you were kind enough to put them up then they should have spent some time with you.

[katiestar]

Yes i thought that they would be saving a thankyou present for when they come back , too poster-above-with-the-long-name
I would just give them a camp bed fot their dc so he can share their room.

[MyNameIsInigoMontoya]

To be fair they might be saving the thankyous/bottle of wine or whatever until they come back to yours at the end of the holiday.

Still quite cheeky tho!

[Buda]

Well I have a 7 year old who would not be happy being too far away from us at night especially in a strange house but I would not dream of asking hosts to move! And I would refuse point blank to let them move if they offered. We have had the issue and just ask if it is OK if he sleeps in with us - either one of us will sleep in bed designated for him if appropriate or we will move the mattress in with us.

We regularly stay with friends back in UK and always arrive with gifts, buy copious quantities of wine and either pay for a take-away or meal out while we are there. Have also paid for supermarket shop for friend a few times.

[MorningTownRide]

They angled that they needed somewhere to stay.

They complained about their sleeping artrangements.

They complained about shower noise.

They didn't want to socialise with you.

Er, they are completely using you as a free hotel.

You can lie and say one of you has suspected swine flu or let them stay and then tell them they are lousy guests.

Also, tell everyone on Facebook what fruitloops they are.

[piscesmoon]

I would tell them to go to a hotel!
I would have just put the DSs mattress on the floor of their room if they didn't like the dstance. He was 7 yrs old-I'm sure he could cope anyway! They are using you-very sad.

[wasabipeas]

Sorry Stig, once I started, I got carried away
Tis very cathartic, this ranting

[Stigaloid]

By 'hotel' i meant send them to one. Sorry - not very clear.

[Stigaloid]

That was a long story short? ;p

Hotel - how rude of them. YANBU and they sound extremely spoilt and rude.

You sound like lovely hosts though

[wasabipeas]

Forgot to say, our 7yo DD sleeps on the attic floor, which would mean a flight of stairs down in the night if she needs us, and that has never been a problem!
I could understand if he didn't sleep through, but by their own admission, he slept fine

[Lilymaid]

Only let them come back but on the basis that they all sleep in the attic room. The DW is far too precious.

[TrinityRhinoHasASillyStepson]

I think at seven their ds could cope with a few stairs in a strange house

surely he wouldn't be needing anyone in the night anyway unless he became ill at which point yelling for mum or dad would be fine and no need for climbing a few stairs

they sound ungrateful and annoying