to see a mum leave her 2 young children at park alone?

[Blondeshavemorefun]

went to the park this afternoon with my temp job

its a quite large one, and we were the only ones there.

about 5mins later a lady comes with maybe a 10mth who was crawling and a 3yr

we didnt speak to each other as at other end of park, then after about 10mins she goes out of gate leaving her 2 children on their own

baby started to cry, and after a few seconds i went over and picked him up - 3yr was happily playing

she was gone 8mins (and yes i timed it) and returned with a take out coffee from starbucks [hmmm]

she stormed over to me and SNATCHED her crying baby from me and then started to have a go at me at picking her child up!!

I replied that she was an unfit mother and didnt deserve to have children if she LEAVES them ALONE

and i then walked off

wibu to say that?

[CherryChoc]

Do you have any contact with the local HV team? They might be the best people to mention it to with a description of her and the children as they tend to be involved at a face-to-face level with parents of young children.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

will be there prob tues after school so will look and see if she is there then

hopefully it was just a one off,but somehow the fact the 3yr wasnt bothered kinda makes me think it was a regular thing iyswim

[Blondeshavemorefun]

wow

what a lot of replies

yes thinking about it, i should have called the police, but i didnt think she was going to be that long iykwim(not that it makes it right)

my first thought was that she had gone for a wee/popped back to car to get suncream/nappy etc

no she shouldnt have ever left them, maybe the 3yr and say xxx going to the car, but not a baby

yes she should have asked me to keep an eye on them

i was kinda insulted at the nanny remark,jillyjonk but you are forgiven

the lady who knows her friend leaves her children should tell her friend not to do it and if she doesnt stop to report her

yes i have my judgey pants on - it was wrong imho

it is one of my local parks, and i will be going back there to see if i see lady again

and then do what, see if she does it again/try to get car license plate number?

[Trikken]

YANBU, I would have called the police. Couldnt she have gone to starbucks first?? Anything could have happened.

[foxinsocks]

I think there are an enormous amount of plain selfish people out there too. Not only stupid ones. Or overwhelmed ones. Or mentally ill ones.

anyway, I am quite relaxed about this sort of thing (and must be honest, my immediate thought wouldn't have been that a pervert would have snatched them but that they would have hurt themselves) and I think I may have called the police. I might have been worried that she was leaving them permanently tbh.

least you took care of them blondes! must have been a shock for you too.

[Fillyjonk]

ooops have reread,

didn't mean to suggest that nannies were fuckwitted. Deleted a bunch of text in between and those two sentances ended up together.

The reason I think her being a nanny might be relevant is that her employers need to know that this has happened.

tbh I agree it is more likely that this is the children's mother than a nanny, agree that nannies are trained professionals who aren't likely to do this.

However her being a nanny is a better situation, IMO, as the kids will have a safety net.

Apologies to any nannies I accidentally offended with my rubbish editing, I think you are great!

[Fillyjonk]

can agree that she may just be stupid. Fine. She needs something to stop her being so stupid again. It may not be moral or right that she does. Who cares? Its in the interests of her kids.

[Northernlurker]

OP - this is a very shocking story, yanbu!

[Fillyjonk]

"is it so incomprehensible a mum could do this? "

I think it very very unlikely that a sane, not-overwhelmed mother could do this, yes, and I think the odds are there is something wrong.

Personally, I don't see much point in blaming in these situations. Small children were put at risk. The thing to do is work out the most effective way to stop this happening again. I think the only possibility for the OP is to call the police. They will not take her kids away over this. She might get a talk about safety, or maybe even some support.

Possibly if a neighbour had phoned social services or the police with concrete concerns over baby P, that tragedy might have been avoided. Hand wringing doesn't save children's lives.

[dilemma456]

Message withdrawn

[Tambajam]

I would have called the police. You were definitely not unreasonable to say anything or pick up the baby.

What is it with coffee? I went to Paradise Park in Hertfordshire a couple of weeks ago and it was HOT. On the way out of the car park as I drove around the edge I drove past a girl and baby left sleeping in a car. Girl about 2, baby about 8-10 months. Windows shut. No adults in sight. I pegged it to the service cabin (leaving my kids in car with my mum!) and an employee ran back with me. The mother had left the car unlocked though so we were able to open a door . Girl woke up - she was purple in the face as she was so hot.

The mother had gone for a coffee in the cafe - 200 yrds away across the car park.

[nannyL]

as for must be a nanny

I am 100% certain it wouldnt ever even enter the head of either me (or the 50+ nannies i have met in my time) to leave a 3 year old and a baby alone in a park.

IMO it must be a (very stressed who needs help) mum.

No you were not being unreasonable, and yes that mother was.

[mrshippy]

YANBU - How ugly! My mum brain is making a mental list of all the potential hazards of living a baby and a toddler alone in the park for 8 minutes and now I feel sick! I would guess if the 3 year old didn't react by running after her or becoming upset, that kind of thing might be quite normal. Thank goodness you ahd the courage to point out to the women that her behaviour is unacceptable, maybe a confrontation might put her off doing that next time.

[FairLadyRantALot]

actually, I thought that after agreeing with filly...
a proffessional would, hopefully, not do that...

[scottishmummy]

comment must be nanny i imagine most professional nannies would never do this

[ChippingIn]

By Fillyjonk on Fri 12-Jun-09 23:34:11
I think very very few mothers are fuck witted enough or evil enough to leave a 10 month old baby unsupervised in a playpark in the middle of a city. It is very odd behaviour. I do seriously wonder if she could have been a nanny....

I think anyone who thinks it is ok to leave a 10 month old baby in a park unsupervised is really not thinking straight.

Regardless of whether she is fuck witted, evil or stressed beyond any level of belief, those kids need help.

don't get the point in being smug and judgemental about it. No one in their right minds would leave their young baby in the park because they fancied a latte.

Right - so what you are in effect saying, is that nannies are fuckwitted enough to do this but not a mother?! In defence of nannies - how many babies do you hear about/read about that are battered/starved/killed by their own parents and how many by nannies???? Maybe you'd like to re-think your ill thought out comments.

[FairLadyRantALot]

huh, starving a child to death and leaving a Baby and toddler in the park alone are, yet again, totally different entities, surely?

[LyraSilvertongue]

scottishmummy, I was agreeing with you.
the woman who allegedly starved her daughter has to have been an evil bitch.

[scottishmummy]

proceeding through criminal justice not MH pathway

what irks is the assumption of heinous act= mental health

[LyraSilvertongue]

It's incomprehensible that that mother in Birmingham (?) could starve her daughter to death, but it appears that that's exactly what might have happened.

[scottishmummy]

FJ you prevaricate between Nanny or mental health oh must be unhinged

i have no probs exploration of motives i do have prob with assumption there is an underlying mh issue or errant nanny.

is it so incomprehensible a mum could do this?

[FairLadyRantALot]

exactly totally agree with filly...it seems incomprehensable..even to me who is all for freedom at a slightly later stage...

[Fillyjonk]

I think very very few mothers are fuck witted enough or evil enough to leave a 10 month old baby unsupervised in a playpark in the middle of a city. It is very odd behaviour. I do seriously wonder if she could have been a nanny.

I think anyone who thinks it is ok to leave a 10 month old baby in a park unsupervised is really not thinking straight.

Regardless of whether she is fuck witted, evil or stressed beyond any level of belief, those kids need help.

don't get the point in being smug and judgemental about it. No one in their right minds would leave their young baby in the park because they fancied a latte.