to think it strange that MIL is booking a family hols for her, DIL, DH and his brother and to not invite me and DD?

[dol1y]

We get on pretty well and I don't think its a malicious attempt to exclude us it just seems a bit strange. It also means DH will have to use annual leave and I will be on my own with 5mo DD for the time they are away. DH will be expected to pay his share for the accommodation etc at a hotel - we are struggling to get a week away in Wales in a caravan over the summer! I don't think its malicious but it does seem a bit thoughtless. So... AIBU??

[Blackduck]

On the other hand having just suffered Disneyland Paris with dp, ds, mil and fil and the rest of his family I would not have been the least bit offended if I had not been invited (in fact I was looking for every excuse!)

[diddl]

So your DH, an adult, wants to go on holiday with his brother, Mum(my) & Dad(dy)?
That he´s cionsidering it should be grounds for divorce!

[NetworkGuy]

There's a bit of a difference though NanaJo (not to take away from how silly the MIL was) because in your case the parents got the tickets, where with the OP, the MIL is not 'treating' them, but expects them to pay their share, so impacts on not just time with OP and family, but hits the OP's family savings on top of annual leave etc etc.

[NanaJo]

YANBU at all!! I thought I was the only one who had had this bizarre experience! Years ago my in-laws gave as Christmas gifts, tickets to Hawaii for themselves, my DH and his two older sisters. They excluded myself and two bils! They said they wanted to have a holiday with just their original family unit! Mind you, these were all adults in their 30s with seven young children between them. I was both hurt and appalled. Fortunately my DH refused to go without me, as did one of my sils. In the end my inlaws went by themselves. My mil, especially, was very angry and bitter about this for a long time. She blamed me the most, for some reason. Your DH should simply tell them he won't be going on any holiday without you and your baby. He's a man, not a child.

[dizzydixies]

did we ever get an update re this?

[radstar]

Have read parts of the thread, so sorry if someone covered this. But I don't understand why MIL doesn't want her grandchild to go? In my experience (and it seems the experience of a lot of people on here)they can't keep their hands off new grandchildren!?!

I would be really hurt by the exclusion of her as well as not liking by excluded myself, your DP should say "no thanks, its either all of us or none of us"

Hope you sort it x

[JetLi]

YANBU - Jeez I thought my MIL was baaaaaad!

[FlappyTheBat]

another bump

[warthog]

WHAT HAPPENED??????????

[flipflopper]

Just seen this - hope she comes back on to tell us how she got on

[screamingabdab]

I'm all agog too (skatergrll, great phrase, I am going to start peppering my conversations with agogs)

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Lol at ProvincialLady's comment: "I would kick my husband from here to the luxury hotel of his choice if he suggested going away on this holiday"

Very funny, and pretty much sums up the reaction on this thread.

OP - did you speak to your DP?

[SkaterGrrrrl]

YANBU

• wot they all said /<br />
  Can we get an update from the OP please?
  
  Dolly I hope it works out, please let me know I am all agog!

[Jux]

It would be easy for her to get extra tickets etc for you...

[piscesmoon]

I normally stick up for MIL who seem to get a raw deal, but in this case she can't expect 'quality time' with her DSs when they are adult and have their own family and limited time and resources. Unfortunately it is up to DH and he should have looked surprised and told her that it wasn't possible from the very start. It would have been very easy at that stage-unfortunately he has made it much more difficult.

[nessus]

I don't mean to be rude OP but you are mildly deluded if you actually believe that there is nothing malicious about this. Like DUH! You are blatantly being excluded.

What, does your MIL suspect your DC of being illegitimate or something, hence treating you like a scab

Your DH needs to fix up also and find some back-bone because this is unacceptable.

[Haribosmummy]

Sorry, meant to add that I think MUTT was right on the money with her earlier point... this actually has nothing to do with holidays - joint or alone - this has to do with respect. End of.

[Haribosmummy]

I think there is a huge difference between taking separate holidays now and again and what is being suggested by the OP...

My DH often has lads nights outs / weekends and holidays. I have NO PROBLEM with that.

But, being actively excluded by your MIL.............. that's something completely different!!!

[bigchris]

how did the chat with your dh go?

[ssd]

YANBU

[TeaOneSugar]

I've just waved my DH off for his annual week's fishing holiday with his friend.

He's been going since before DD was born and I have no problem being left alone with her for the week, we certainly don't want to go fishing.

If he was going away with mil, fil and the bil's I would find it very strange - in fact he wouldn't want to go I'm sure.