more a what would you do? children playing out..

[pastapestofor6]

We live in a very small quiet cul-de sac, on our side are houses with private driveways then a very wide road, across the road are flats, very nice flats, big greens with trees and bushes, there are no fences or anything just big open spaces.
we have 6 or 7 families with children ages from 4 to 11, the children play out mostly on our drives, pavement and in the middle of the very very quiet road, they have a great time and run jump skip and play, the parents take it in turns watching out for them, and sometmes we all have a big game of football in the middle of the road, recently the man across the road has been shouting at the children to shut up and f off and all sorts,so we now we keep them away from his window/flat...fast forward to yesterday all the families with children get a visit from the local police who hand delivered a letter to us stating that there have been complaints about the children playing out, that they make to much noise and that the families keep playing football where there are no ball games signs, there IS a no ball games sign on the flats which are housing association flats, we are privately owned houses , so my question is , do we take any notice of letter, are we unreasonable in playing football outside our houses?. The police also say that they wll be stepping up patrols to monitor the "situation" .They are all very very well behaved nice children and are all in the house by 7 pm at the very latest, sorry its a bit long and jumbled but am trying to cook lunch for 10 people and mumsnet at the same time

[JesuslovesCatholicSchools]

if the kids go in at 7pm - you join in playing games with them and they are watched - its not got tht 'mob' mentality that sometimes is associated with kids hanging about on the street.

i think its great, great community spirit = great all round.

do what Edam suggested - contact the police - report THEM for swearing, papers, councillor.

[ninedragons]

Sorry, I can see your neighbour's point.

We also live in a cul-de-sac. I enjoy the sound of the neighbours' children playing outside but my heart sinks when the basketball comes out. There is something uniquely annoying about the slap, slap, slap of a ball on concrete. I don't mind it when they're on their bikes or their scooters or just running around, but ball games are a lot noisier than the participants seem to realise.

There is no hint of a conciliatory tone in your OP. If the neighbour has got to the point of involving the police, it must be driving him up the wall. It is only fair for you and the other families to compromise. I think you may well solve the problem if you said that general play outside was fine but when the children wanted to play football, one parent would take them all to the park.

Alternatively, double-glazing for one flat shouldn't be too expensive split between six or seven families. You describe it yourself as a quiet cul-de-sac. Maybe that's why he moved there - to enjoy the peace.

[MissSunny]

Message withdrawn

[Oligo]

get local media involved- did someone already say that?

buy the complainer some wine/flowers/cigarettes/spirits/earplugs and tell them a funny little joke

[booyhoo]

what a miserable person, children playing out is one thing i really love about the summer, just hearing them laugh and play thier innocent games. and good on you all for watching out for them. you sound very responsible and you should try and get police on side. write to the police as a commnity welcoming the patrols as a way to show how considerate and responsible you all are being.

[1968]

I have just been reading all of the replies to this discussion and I know its a difficult subject but I have to have some sympathy with the people who are bothered by other peoples children playing out. This is happening to me and it is awful. You can feel very stressed with hearing constant noise outside at all hours. I am going to be staying away from my own home this saturday because it is stressful and I would rather be somewhere else than here.

Having been on the receiving end (and I am a mum myself) this is my opinion... I really do agree that kids should play out in the street and really enjoy themselves with their friends. I did it and loved being a street kid. However, there should be consideration for everyone in the neighbourhood. As long as consideration is being given and a reasonable time limit to end the noise is set everyone should be happy. 7pm sounds wonderful to me!

Just make sure that you really aren't bothering other people. They may seem grumpy and horrible but it could be that they have simply got stressed. They could be shift workers or have personal problems to deal with. In another situation they are likely to be very nice people.

[cory]

I am another one who might be tempted to think that we were not so noisy in my day. But for the unfortunate fact that my mother owned a tape recorder.

[RedEmma]

It's just one of the things you have to accept as part of life in a community where people live near each other. I live in flats, so accept I'm going to hear my neighbours! I can hear the woman downstairs screaming at her family all the time and the single bloke opposite playing loud punk music all weekend too.

[piscesmoon]

'I was a child once but I genuinely feel that we were not quite so noisy. '

I think you have forgotten! We used to play out all the time-we never tried to be quiet so I think we must have been quite noisy.I agree with BBasBB.

[BigBellasBeerBelly]

I am perfectly happy with children playing outside on bikes running around shouting etc, it's what children do and what they need to do.

I was happy with it before I had children and am happy with it now, DD is not that age yet I hope she will be able to play out.

This idea that children should all be coralled into "activities" and monitored and supervised every minute of every hour of every day, with no freedom, is why so many go wrong when they get their first taste of freedom later on IMO. They haven't been allowed the opportunity to learn the rules and how to live as part of a community.

Rather kids on bikes in the day than 15 year olds shagging and vomiting in my front garden TBH.

[screenlink]

OK! It appears that I am totally in the wrong to crave a little peace and quiet. If RedEmma is happy with "...children playing noisily outside, running around, riding bikes, shouting, singing etc. between the hours of about 8am and 7pm [being] perfectly reasonable..." then fair enough and I envy her. Regarding other poster's comments about people like me needing something more to think about, actually I have but this is not the forum to go into details.
It's been an interesting few hours! Thank you.

[Ripeberry]

In my parents street we used to play out all day and once we were told to be quiet as we were playing a very noisy game, but we did not need to be told again.
The only other time people complained about kids playing was early on 01st Jan 2000 when i think the whole street had a hangover!
Some kids playing in the street at 10am was a bit too much!

[RedEmma]

Of course, kicking balls against walls/windows, trespassing in other people's gardens and peering through windows is unacceptable and not within the bounds of normal playing - I wouldn't put up with behaviour like that. Some teenagers in the block of flats I live in recently took to hanging out in the car park in the evenings, "playing" by throwing bottles around out of the recycling, running in and out of the blocks late at night shouting and screaming, setting off the fire alarms - all totally unacceptable and I and several neighbours reported them and it seems to have been dealt with.

However, children playing noisily outside, running around, riding bikes, shouting, singing etc between the hours of about 8am and 7pm is perfectly reasonable. There is a family below me with three small boys aged about 3 to 8 who are out all day playing (I can hear them being power rangers now), including shouting and crying, but that's what children do. I played out as a child, I'm sure we were noisy. I honestly can't imagine complaining about normal children's noise.

[OrmIrian]

Write a reply and give it to the CPO. I did when something similar happened. No more letters. I don't know what was done but I guess the complainant was told there was no offence being committed? Some people simply don't like seeing children out - they prefer them tidily locked away in little boxes At leasr if the person who complained last time feels like doing it again perhaps they will think twice. It isn't an offence for children to run around and make a noise.

[slowreadingprogress]

I think that you should read smiley's post RedEmma. Certain types of play can be totally intrusive and make you feel that you 'own' no part of the world, that there's nowhere you can do what YOU want without other people's over the top and intrusive behaviour and noise taking over your world.

I do think this is an issue where people need to tread really carefully. Certainly evenings should be quiet and child free IMO.

Having said all that I would never object to children playing out, riding bikes, whatever; but I do think football is not for streets or cul de sacs and should be kept for people's own gardens or the park.

[screenlink]

To RedEmma and katiestar. Playing outside and making a lot of noise ALL Day is that fair?
Yes, obviously(!) I was a child once but I genuinely feel that we were not quite so noisy. We were not allowed to be. Everything seems to be so much noisier today. I wonder how you as young mums will feel when you are older and just want a bit of peace. Sadly with the housing situation as it is at the moment those of us who are bothered by noise cannot just sell up and move as much as we might like to be able to do so.
I don't want to be seen as the grumpy old woman in the corner. I'm far from that! Posting these messages today was really just to get an idea of other people's (admittedly probably biased) views. No intention to offend or annoy. Like I say, I can see the benefits in the children being outside and being active and I agree with a previous post that parents are damned if they do let their children out to play and damned if they let them vegetate in front of tvs or computers. Moderation in all things (timewise) perhaps and just have some consideration for your neighbours who might just not want to be subjected to noise.

[katiestar]

I don't agree with playing football in the street if the ball is entering peoples gardens or bouncing against their walls or cars. However bikes games and noises during daylight hours in the street is just part of life.The adults who are troubled by it were children once themselves!!

[RedEmma]

I can't believe there are actually people who object to children playing outside.

[screenlink]

I find myself caught between two stools. On the one hand I admire the fact that children are being active and not stuck in front of computer screens but on the other hand I do find it extremely irritating to have to live behind closed blinds because I am trying to work at a desk and there is the constant flying backwards and forwards by children on bikes. Before you say move the desk - I can't!
This is a small cul-de-sac with predominantly older people. There are just two houses with young children. Two boys are here permanently and the other two are here at weekends. Neither parents ever speak and the children look at you as if you are an alien being. Before you say anything about that, I have tried to be friendly.
I would just ask you one question. Is it fair that these children are outside ALL DAY until it is nearly dark? Neither parent seem to ever check that everything is ok and they clearly haven't taught their boys any form of road safety.
I suspect I shall get some nasty commentss from this posting but just think - I didn't ask you to have children. The children playing outside are nothing to do with me and yet my peace is shattered. If I had a dog that was barking or if I played loud music I could be prosecuted. There, I've had my say.

[Ripeberry]

But luckily i have a local policewoman down the road and she said she'll have a word with them if it gets too much

[Ripeberry]

Oh Good, can i put up a "no ball games" sign on my wall. It may stop the local kids asking for their ball back every evening and them damaging my plants and fence when they try to climb into my garden

[SmileyMylee]

I'm a bit on the fence here.

Several years I lived in a small cul-de-sac. Everything was fine until couples started having children and the children grew up and played football on the road right outside our house. At no point could I relax at the weekend. The constant thud, thud of the ball as they played, the constant hitting of the ball against our windows / walls. The constant faces at my window as they came into our garden to retrieve the ball. It started at 8 in the morning and carried on until it got dark, often 9 ish. It felt like torture and I no longer felt able to stay in the house at weekends.

I have to admit, week after week of this and I no longer thought about it rationally. I would have loved the police to come round and read the riot act.

However roll on 8 years and three children later. The fact that my kids can happily play outside on a nice day and annoy the other parents who's children have now grown up and no longer play football outside. If one of them dared to complain - I'm not sure how I would react.

[Barnum]

Agree with you karala - you'd think that people would have enough to worry about without next doors kids! I also totally agree with whoever it was that mentioned if you keep them in (ie no physical activity) then you're a bad parent etc. Recently the football posts at our local park were removed to stop older boys playing footy cause someone complained that the ball might hit a smaller child in the play area next to the playing field!! Oh well then, I guess it's time for the lads to go off down the high street and break some windows instead! It's very sad that kids are no longer allowed to be kids even if they want to be - I'd much rather my 15 yr old was playing football in the park than hanging round street corners waiting for trouble to find him! Police and local councils etc really need to be aware of the problems parents face that are caused by the many nimbys there are about. As has been said, if no laws are being broken then provided things aren't heading in the wrong direction kids should be allowed to play outside in their gardens, drives, cul-de-sacs,or whatever.

[karala]

I think this is so sad that people are so fundamentally miserable that they'll complain about children playing. It makes me want to swear loudly.

[cheshirekitty]

Parents cannot win anymore. Keep your children in watching tv and getting obese, and you are a bad parent.

Let them outside to play footie etc, and you are a bad neighbour.

FFS. YANBU. Your neighbour sounds like he should win the plonker of the year award.

If there is no sign then let the kids continue playing. Report stupid neighbour to the police for swearing at the kids.