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AIBU?

To change my dd religion

62 replies

mummytopebs · 21/04/2009 23:20

My dd has just got in an absolutly excellent catholic primary school - have absolutly no idea how so i am over the moon. She is not catholic but apparently they have to take 3 per cent non catholics. I am now considering changing her from c of e to catholic as i myself went to a catholic school and was c of e and was left out of stuff like communion etc, i do not want her to be segregated from the group, so may change her religion. If i decide to do this, how do i do it?

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sleeplessinstretford · 23/04/2009 14:14

i like all this 'let them choose themselves' but as a parent we are responsible for guiding them in what we consider the right way-therefore-if you want your child to attend a faith school,because it has the same faith and code as you do-so be it.
It's amazing how people only ever seem to choose when they're older when they need a wedding,a christening,a funeral,a place for their kids in a decent school....

LollipopViolet · 23/04/2009 12:33

YABU, religion is a deeply personal thing and should be left up to the individual to decide at an appropriate age. My mum and uncle are baptised CofE as far as I know, but they have never in the time I've been alive (19 years) gone to church etc. I was allowed to make up my own mind and chose to keep it open to all beliefs. Let her choose when she's older.

Walkingwiththighosaurs · 23/04/2009 10:16

You make changing your religion sound like changing your underwear.

But let's face it we did evolve from monkeys.

Fleetingglimpse · 23/04/2009 10:01

I am frankly shocked and offended at most of the comments on this thread.

QSvampireslayer I don't beleive for a second that your story is true. I have never met a Catholic with these views. It is illegal for Catholic schools not to teach evolution.

The Catholic church itself recognised evolution over 50 years ago.

I have heard these kind of 'stories' and rumours about most religions and races. They are mainly lies or chinese whispers repeated by stupid ignorant people.

OP If you want to convert to Catholicism go to see your Parish Priest.

lalalonglegs · 23/04/2009 09:39

It does have markedly different cultural aspects to Anglicanism though which, I will repeat, as a convert you will be expected to embrace.

MaryBS · 23/04/2009 08:01

It's NOT a different religion though!

GothAnneGeddes · 23/04/2009 04:08

I think it's one thing to bring a child up with a religious faith, because it's your faith and your way of life (same if you're atheist, humanist e.t.c).

But to view it as a fitting in thing, like having the right pair of shoes or something is very shallow IMO.

sleeplessinstretford · 22/04/2009 23:09

oils up for a flaming
i am catholic,my children are catholic,my partner doesn't believe in anything so was happy for the girls to be baptized my religion/jedi as to him,they are as realistic as each other.
i believe in the ten commandments as a good basis for life and a good moral code-for my children i have always explained that they have free will and no matter what anyone they have this will-so if that is using contraception/being a lesbian we have free choice to do what we think is the right thing for us and not judge other people.
My parents are rampant catholics-when i rocked up,knocked up they were great-when i did the same thing (different dad,same unmarried situation)they were christian and supportive (after the immediate shock had worn off)
a friend of mine (from clubbing/boozing/hedonistic nights out standing) got ordained as a priest-we've had normal conversations about his calling and i am in no doubt that he believes that he can do a duty to his parish. i try to live by the ten commandments and try to instil this in my children-and i can't see any issues with that-the primary influence on the kids is me-they'll be right.

AliceMumma · 22/04/2009 23:07

I am a Christian, and will bring my children up that way. I would never change one of their religion because of a certain school!
That would be extremely confusing for a child, if its parents had one religion, and made it have another!!

QSthevampireslayer · 22/04/2009 22:35

The mums in my sons RC primary are very anti darwinists. One girl came running saying "Nicolas says we come from monkeys!" "No darling, that is wrong, we were all created by God, and dont let anybody tell you otherwise" - she told me she could not do with these new outrageous ideas that we come from monkeys, as far as she was concerned, evolution is a myth, as God created man, just like the bible says. They all agreed to that.

Anyway.

lalalonglegs · 22/04/2009 22:15

I'm Catholic and neither do I but they are issues that the Catholic church is quite keen on and they are issues that will come up at any religious instruction meetings. If, as a prospective convert, you sat there saying, "I think that's rubbish actually", I don't think you would get very far (certainly not in our parish).

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 22/04/2009 22:12

Well I'm Catholic and don't think I'll burn in hell for using contraception, or that gays will, etc.

QSthevampireslayer · 22/04/2009 22:11

She wont be on the outside, I am sure.

You really have to work out whether you buy into the Catholic Doctrine. Remember it has changed a lot with the new pope, I know lots of people who turn their backs on the Catholic Church at the moment, due to it being even more orthodox now than 10 years ago.

lalalonglegs · 22/04/2009 22:09

I think it depends on the parish priest - in our parish, it definitely wouldn't mean just having a prayer read but would be a huge undertaking. You would have months of religious instruction and would need to show a real commitment to Catholicism.

I think you have to understand that quite a lot of Catholic priests (and I speak from experience) are pretty hardcore traditional and, as a convert, you will be expected to embrace that traditional thinking. (I agree with whoever said that you will be expected to convert as well if you wish your daughter to join the Catholic church.) So you would have to display a tolerance for things that many Catholics who were born into it, just sort of ignore: anti-abortion stance, anti-female priests, some extremely odd thinking on homosexuality. The CofE has moved with the times in many areas, the Catholic church has not and, if you sign up, it is implied that that, ahem, lack of wishy-washiness is part of the attraction. If it isn't, you may want to reconsider.

pranma · 22/04/2009 21:40

You could have her baptised as RC and make sure she has RC godparents.I think you should also talk to your parish priest about what is involved.

cory · 22/04/2009 20:12

would agree with onestone except that to my mind making a deliberate effort to keep the supernatural out of her mind would also amount to brainwashing

anyway, you have to be aware that your dd is very soon going to be of an age where she will want to make her own mind up, regardless of what you think is the more sociably desirable

I was about 7 when I dedided I was a Christian- despite being brought up in an atheist/agnostic family and attending an ordinary secular school

my dd was probably younger than that when she decided she was not going to share my faith

Onestonetogo · 22/04/2009 19:35

Message withdrawn

Habbibu · 22/04/2009 19:30

Catechism lessons?!! They'd stopped those at my convent and Christian Brothers' schools 25 years ago...

MaryBS · 22/04/2009 19:20

Oh and my sister now calls me a dirty prod. I just call her arsey (RC) though!

MaryBS · 22/04/2009 19:19

TheFallenMadonna, I went from RC to Anglican, after much soul searching. Although I have the occasional regret, it was definitely the best move for me. I was received into the Anglican church formally, just over 3 years ago. It gave me closure having a formal ceremony.

As for differences. There is very little difference between what my vicar believes and what the average RC priest believes on most things. He believes in Transubstantiation, which is the case amongst AngloCatholics in the CofE. He doesn't have a problem with women priests, so I guess that's one difference.

As for mummytopebs' dilemma. Would you be prepared to take her to Mass on a Sunday? You might want to talk to the priest, see what he says. Also talk to the school.

onagar · 22/04/2009 19:09

Presumably the kids picked that up from their catholic parents. That would be a reason not to join them I would have thought, but then I'm an atheist so am actually relieved that religion IS now on a par with cereal

Desiderata · 22/04/2009 00:26

Yes, because let's not forget that the current Pope is a twat.

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TheFallenMadonna · 22/04/2009 00:26

But Desi, this is someone with a christian faith already. So I'm guessing the 'misguided pants' thing isn't figuring in her decision.

As for me, what SGB said. No, not really

Hard to explain. Am still going through the process. Some of what SGB said actually. I think it might have been brewing since the RC church admitted married anglicans to the priesthood, while celibacy remained for all others. And women being ordained as anglican priests. And authority. And the reality of being a catholic in Britain today compared with RC teaching. The teaching of my own priest compared with that of the vatican. So many things. So hard to present a coherent argument at the moment.

mrsboogie · 22/04/2009 00:18

Desiderata and SGSB are spot on -
plus if the child were to stick to the religion she could grow up thinking she will burn in Hell for various things such as being Gay, using contraception, having an abortion etc.

And there are some very fundamental differences between RC and C of E.

MillyR · 22/04/2009 00:09

FM

Now I also want to ask why are you converting?

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