to be acknowledged for a long contribution in an advice thread?

[moanylisa]

I have changed my name out of embarrassment, but I joined mumsnet recently, lurked a few days, and dipped my toe in the water with a couple of innocuous contributions. I didn't really expect a hello or anything, but today I totally knocked myself out with what I thought was some good (asked for) advice on the relationships thread,with loads of personal stuff in it. The OP popped back on and lengthily replied to someone else while totally ignoring me!! Is it because you have to "earn your stripes" on here and get well known before people talk to you? I feel a bit put out, and a bit of a saddo for lurking all afternoon to see if anyone comments on what I said- pathetic I know! So, AIBU?

[daftpunk]

no yanbu

but i never reply to anything with more than about 20 words.

dont think its a cliquey think either as i never look at names.

[Teuch]

And I don't think it is necessarily a clique thing, either.

I read posts and if I can respond I do - I rarely notice who is posting tbh.

[notcitrus]

It happens - people reply in a hurry, get names mixed up, the site doesn't update comments before they post (comments posted after you start typing you won't see until after you've sent your reply, so if it takes you 2 hours to respond then you won't see anything that's been said in that time).

I find that over time it balances out - you don't always get credit or thanks, but your reputation as a knowlegeable, helpful and polite person will grow. I post loads on another site, and there's some threads where a couple regulars tend to ignore me. But then one day someone replied arguing with me and both regulars dived in saying "Oi! Listen to notcitrus, they know what they're talking about" - which was a pleasant surprise.

Hang in there.

[Teuch]

I don't expect any thanks. I post my mindless drivel on MN because it feeds my feelings of self-importance and I feel extremely virtuous.

Post or don't post.

[fryalot]

(moanylisa is a FAB name, btw )

[Nighbynight]

moanylisa, this sort of thing has happened to me too - maybe the person just didn't agree with something you said. they could have said "thank you everyone" or something like that though.
Hope it doesnt put you off posting on mumsnet. your current nickname is unforgettable, so everyone will know who you are now

[fryalot]

belgo - that's happened to me too. Tis really annoying.

Another thing that I have had is: someone asks for the answer to something (not advice, an actual question with an answer), I answer it, and I give a reason for my answer so that it is obvious to everyone that, not only do I know what I am talking about, but they can now work it out for themselves...

Then, another poster comes on and posts "doesn't anyone know the answer to this because I want to know too"



(there was no xposts involved, btw... twas about ten minutes in between.)

[littlewoman]

Now that is rude.

[belgo]

moanylisa (good name by the way) - I get annoyed when this happens. Some people are very rude. I recently saw a reply to a thread which was totally ignored with the original poster typing a rather rude 'bump' straight after the advice, having failed to acknowledge the post at all.

[dal21]

YANBU

But would be amazed if it hasn't happened to everyone at some point.

[littlewoman]

What about when you post a really witty line and nobody tells you how clever you are? ... Bastards

Don't worry, ML. You'll soon get used to it and know which ones rub you up the wrong way, etc. If you aren't aknowledged, the fault was not with your advice, but with their manners.

[flowerybeanbag]

1dilemma sorry, I was on my way to bed!

Good news there's been some progress - I just refreshed my memory about it!

[blueskythinker]

Well the best way of feeling completely valued is by getting your MN tip of the day published. Mine was published about 6 weeks ago and I glowed with pride for days.

I am frantically racking my brains for new tips - but I can't think of any more.

[callmeovercautious]

Manners maketh man etc. I always click on "threads I am on" before delving in to anything new. I like to catch up with earlier convos and thank people who have helped. If you are new make sure you acknowledge others and hope the good manners rubs off and a big welcome to MN btw

[BigBadMousey]

Oh no, now I have to acknowledge you all back! OK here goes...

moanylisa I should admit I have trouble remembering names on here so I might not make a particularly good stalker. I do however remember Washersaurus because I always imagine her as a domestic goddess surrounded by piles perfectly laundered clothes and nappies (we have discussed this before ) and I hereby acknowledge chukkypig's valuable contribution to this thread.

[moanylisa]

BBMousey - that would be so cool! Hint: art-related ! XXX Night for now, glass of wine with DP beckons, shall check in in new obsessive way when he goes to loo, lol!

[ChukkyPig]

flowery, we need a new topic "thanks to flowery", you have helped a lot of people, and we are all grateful!

Moany it's true, you have to be Moany now, otherwise we won't know it's you!

BigBadM0ousey you are just the best [acknowledges]

[Washersaurus]

BBM stop talking a load of old bollocks; you have lots of useful advice - I for one have been stalking you around the nappy threads for months

[1dilemma]

You see Moany i just hijacked your thread to talk to flowery and she totally ignored me
I still think she's cool and really kind

(she probably can't remember what the hell I'm on about-and cares even less )

[Heated]

Hello moanylisa, think you've really braved the water now

What occasionally narks me is when I post a comment or advice & someone else repeats exactly the same thing a bit later on & they get the thanks!

But MN is really witty and full of good advice. I've learnt tonnes on here. And I love reading the weekly round-up, 'tis brill - have you signed up for that?

[BigBadMousey]

NO ONE has acknowleded my post although it would appear that I haven't killed this one yet (WooHoo).

Think I'll wander off to the relationship topic and try to work out who you are Moanylisa - stalking is the highest form of MN flattery you know (plus I have nothing else worthwhile I can do while BF my hungry monster)

[flowerybeanbag]

ilovemydog you couldn't copy and paste and bung that in a new thread in Employment could you? Makes it a bit easier that way. I'm off to bed now but will ponder and come back tomorrow.

[moanylisa]

I know, I'm so stupid! And look, I have started to come back and compulsively THIS thread now, after saying I was going to watch telly! I feel really cheery now though, guess I will just have to remember that when I go back to being ...the other one

[DeeRiguer]

fbb i was only kidding about the notes

[ilovemydog]

flowerybean: it's a legal point that I'm making an issue about. HM Customs and Excise Legal Department have been pondering the point for ages! Grrr....

Without boring you about the details, entered into a compromise agreement with company x (after working for them for circa 12 years) in December 2007, and had DS in February 2008. thereby past the 25 week statutory requirement for maternity pay.

The query is whether or not by making me a payment of (xxx), means that company x has fulfilled their statutory obligations.

I say, 'no' on the basis that one cannot contract out of statutory obligations.

At this stage, all I want is a decision. Any decision is fine as then I can either appeal or get maternity allowance?

Any ideas for getting HM Customs to make a decision?

We are so broke at the moment