WOuld you invite someone to stay for the weekend and ask them to babysit for you and dh to go out on the Saturday night?

[ComeOVeneer]

AIBU in thinking this is really off?

A relative of dh's (it is his maternal grandmother's 1st cousin's daughter in law!!!!!) is having a 50th birthday party in a few weeks. It is about 1.5 hours drive away and an adult only party. We can't ask any of dh's family to babysit as they are obviously going to the party. My parents will have stayed at our house for 6 days the week before to look after ds and dd whilst dh and I are in the states, so I don't want to ask them to come over (they would need to stay the night) as they will still be recovering . Both our usual babysitters are studying for school exams so aren't working atm.

So anyway.......

We were at IL's at the weekend and I said I didn't think we would be able to make it our perhaps dh would go on his own, as we had nobody to care for the children. SO MIL suggested we invite my sister and her dh plus children to come for the weekend and get them to babysit. I thought that was totally out of order. MIL thinks I am being totally unreasonable, and is now accusing me of being deliberately awkward and trying to spoil the party for everyone.

WOuld you ask someone to drive over 2 hours on Friday night with 2 small children to return home after lunch on Sunday, and ask them to babysit 4 children on Sat night (with you leaving at about 6pm to return after midnight)?

[AtheneNoctua]

Ah, I can certainly agree with that view! You could tell your MIL that you asked your sis, she said she can't do it, and then offer that if she wants to foot the bill for some £120 then you'll gladly go to the party.

BTW, I e-mailed you about going for sushi tonight. Did you get it? You might have responded on that thread I can't keep up with.

[bergentulip]

We-ell, depends on the relationship had with your sister.

But it's unreasonable for your MIL to get shirty. It's entirely up to you how 'cheeky' you can be with your sister, not your MIL. I certainly would not ask anyone else I know the same favour!

I could get away with it with mine, but having said that, she has not children and the 2hr drive would therefore not really be an issue. Or upheaval of travel cots etc etc etc.....
I would sell it with 'hey, can you do us a favour, but also we'll have a nice Friday night/Sunday lunch together, and I'll return the favour when needed'......

[Alderney]

Reasonable to ask IF it was for a huge occassion and the favour could be repaid sometime..

NOT reasonable for such a tenuous family link IMHO....thats almost getting to MIL's windowcleaner's cat territory

[bozza]

Well if I wanted my sister to babysit overnight I would take the DC to her rather than expecting the opposite. Seems an odd way to do things. Expect her to give up her weekend, do the Friday travelling etc so you can go out.

[Alambil]

I guess you could phrase it differently. A bit like "would you mind babysitting on X - hey let's make a weekend of it, bring the family and stay the night" ?

[2GIRLS]

Tell your MIL 'ok , I've thought about it and your idea is great!! I'll call my sister and ask if she can do it, I'm sure she love to.... Oh no, I called her and she really can't do it that weekend. Do you have any other brilliant suggestions?'