to be annoyed at the quality of 2nd hand clothing a friend is giving my DS and to be seething that she is selling the stuff I gave her?

[conniedescending]

so here's the story: I have 3 DDs and a 5mth old DS. One of the mums at my DDs school has 2 boys and a baby girl and after chatting we decided to swop outgrown clothes -my girls stuff for her boys stuff.

So first exchange was made and she got items from Next, Debenhams, Gap, Monsoon all in lovely condition - the stained/ play clothes I didnt send. I got stained, ripped, scruffy, faded stuff from Ethel Austin.....was a tad disappointed. Anyway, we just swopped another batch and same story again. I wouldnt mind but her DS is always immaculately dressed and doesnt seem to wear all this scruffy crap she is giving me. Also, my mum bought youngest DD a beautiful duffle coat from monsoon that she has been wearing this winter and this 'friend' has let it be known that she expects this coat for her DD next winter.

ANyway, I have now discovered that alot of the clothing I have given to her for her DD is being sold on ebay along with the decent stuff her DS has outgrown! Shall I confront her or just not give anything else.

I'm really cross about this

[pucca]

I would go mad!

Don't give her anything else, no way, and i would also say something!

[Hulababy]

Stop swapping them. Just say that you are finding it harder to keep up with all the clothes so fancy trying ebay to make some money to finance the next set. But say that she can have first offer on paying for it.

[Sidge]

I would be cross too.

Just don't give her any more stuff, and if she has the balls to ask for it just tell her that it's not in good enough condition to pass along and you wouldn't want to pass on grotty stuff

[lisad123]

she doesnt sound much like a friend, tell her a family memeber needs the clothes your children have outgrown and sell them.
I would ask her if she has the stuff you gave her for said family memeber

[lucykate]

just leave it, and tell her 'what a good idea to sell the better stuff on ebay, i think i'll do the same, i'll get a good price for dd's coat you were admiring'

don't give her anymore, and if she dares to complain, tell her she can bid for it if she'd like

[cocolepew]

Don't give her any more. Tell her you're selling them on e-bay

[avenanap]

Don't give her anything else. I pass my ds's outgrown things to my brother for his son, when he has outgrown them they will be passed on to my sister for her son (if they are in good condition by then).

[scottishmummy]

dont swop and you sell on ebay!someone conned me with a sob story i gave them lots of free nice baby stuff which she sold on at profit

i understand why you are cross.she is a chancer.

sheesh requesting the moonson coat - cheeky

[CrackerOfNuts]

What a cheek.

I have had a friend dropping hints about me giving her dd my dd2's clothes though and it really put me off giving her anything.

I used to ebay the stuff and although I didn't make a fat lot, it would help pay for more clothes for the kids. I started to give dd's stuff to this friend because her and her dh were having HUGE money problems and so I thought it might help.
However, I have been with this friend so many times when she has gone and brought her dd expensive clothes that she so does not need, and then she has sat and moaned to me how she can't pay this and that bill.

I still do give her dd2's outgrown stuff, but if I have anything that I think will sell on ebay, then that goes there instead.

[conniedescending]

Thanks. I think I will confront her tomorrow (gulp). She's not really a friend....just a school mum iykwim - I would have sold the stuff on ebay but thought swopping would be a good option.

Wondered why I'd not seen her DD in that much of the stuff I gave her

[scottishmummy]

oh well good luck.let us know how it goes

[Oblomov]

Stop swapping and demand a cut of the ebay things. Say, I saw my item sold for .....£xxx
what will she say then ?

[Youcannotbeserious]

I think you are really brave for saying something. I wouldn't have the nerve, would just leave it and not swap anything else, but I am sure that's how and why these people get away with it........

I hope it goes OK.

Cat64 - this was an agreed swap... Girls stuff for boys stuff... there is an implied 'deal' there, even if you refuse to see it....

If I gave something to a friend who professed to want it for thier child and they then sold it on e-bay, I would be annoyed about it... If I gave something to a charity shop, which someone else then bought and took the time to list on e-bay, well, that's a different story.......

[mumofdjandbabies]

could you be really mean and bid on something of yours

[CarGirl]

I think I would look through ebay history (completed items within 5 miles, girls clothing etc etcc) and have a look at how much money she has made. Then say something like I see you've sold all your decent stuff on ebay and all mine too and made £x I'm really upset that you ripped me off.

I'd be livid because she has been very devious and absolutely had no intention of swapping.

[mumofdjandbabies]

cargirl youre a genius!!!

[avenanap]

You could go the whole hog and ask her for them back in return for her stuff! Say that you have a niece who could have them when she's finished. That'll be interesting

[tearinghairout]

I would go for the 'family member needs them' line.

Incidentally, a girl's clothes swapped for a boys will never be fair - ime little boys' clothes are hardly more than dishcloths by the time they've outgrown them. I had twins, a boy & a girl and although I passed on DDs clothes, DSs were never in good enough condition, so perhaps your expectations, and hers, are a bit unrealistic.

[CarGirl]

but the swaapper did have nice boys clothes to pass on but she sold them on ebay instead of swapping as agreed.

[avenanap]

Yes but it will be interesting to watch her try and wriggle out of it!