I’m really struggling with my DD 13 years old.
She has ASD / ARFID but I’m worried there is something else that’s been missed up until now.
Literally everything I say is wrong, a criticism of her, a way of trying to change her, any positive has a negative quickly spun on it by her.
she seems to hate me but needs me to do kits for her so it’s impossible to try and create any distance between us when she’s hurting my feelings with her continual comments about my failures in life and as a mother.
I go from feeling resentful that I’ve literally given up everything to be what she needs in a mum so I’m around for all she needs and every day she’s too anxious to attend school etc to really sad that she seems to dislike me so much when I love her and wouldn’t change her for the world - I just want her to be a bit happier as she seems so moody the entire time.
I wish I could say it’s hormones and whilst it’s definitely got worse over the past year, this has probably been going on now at least 3 years.
She refuses therapy of any kind - will literally just sit in silence.
im at a real loss 😢
AIBU?
To not know what rejection sensitive dysphoria looks like?!
FukOffFibro · 29/03/2024 10:28
Am I being unreasonable?
18 votes. Final results.
POLLRumpleDumple · 29/03/2024 15:37
I likely have undiagnosed RSD and its awful. Like PP said, it's like a parrot always whispering in your ear that you are and never will be good enough, that you are stupid etc
However, now in my 50s I've come to the realisation that it has deeply affected my ability to make friends. I keep a kind of barrier up as I always assume I am unlikeable and only tolerated at best by other people. I never ever send Facebook riend requests. I couldn't take the rejection of my request being ignored. I have no work colleagues as FB friends as no one has ever sent me one. Though they all seem to be Fb friends eith each other and i know there are various group chats that I'm not in. I feel left out sometimes but my fear of being laughed at, ignored, bitched about when I leave the room is too strong to do anything about it.
I DO think I get on OK with people. I think I Mask, so quite with quiet people, a bit louder with louder people but my self diagnosed RSD has taken over a huge part if my behaviours. It sucks and I really feel for your daughter and for you. Its a difficult behaviour because it comes from a belief, not reality, and changing our beliefs is very very hard.
FukOffFibro · 29/03/2024 18:08
Really appreciate all the replies.
Is there an actual assessment for this?
I worry I never actually know what I’m dealing with and then may be getting things wrong.
She won’t entertain the idea of any therapy at all - just sat silent refusing to participate with the therapy following her ASD diagnosis and then wouldn’t speak to me at home for almost 2 weeks because I had humiliated her by taking her to a therapist when there’s nothing wrong with her as the only problem is me 😢
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