Homeschool 1DC out of 3

[Zuzus]

I have 3 DCs. DC1 is a star pupil, great manners and well-liked by everyone. Also works incredibly hard, and is good at everything: academics, music and sports. DC3 is still at nursery.

DC2 shows some autistic traits. DC2 is incredibly intelligent but has own way of learning. They just don't know what to do with DC2 at school. On occasions, DC2 has been sent to work alone at a desk in the corridor as classroom can be very noisy.

More recently, DC2 has been sent to sit at the "special needs" table. For context, other children on that table are wearing diapers and some are non-verbal. I queried this with the teacher and she said "there is no special needs table" and that DC2 was doing great among table peers.

DC2 is not an auditory learner, and finds it difficult to focus when teacher explains things. Yet, in a history class DC2 was able to recall with incredible detail things seen at the museum. DC2 is keen to learn from me as we explore different ways of learning together.

Not to drip feed, I was late-diagnosed ADHD and I made it all the way to a masters degree at a top university with distinction.

I work from home and can 100% have DC2 with me.

However, DC1 is well-settled at school and I would not wish to change that. Is it wrong to homeschool only DC2?

As a home edder I can tell you there are loads of families that say school suits some of their kids but not others. If you can do it for him then you should imo. It doesn't mean he gets special treatment just that he needs something different from the oldest.

We HE one child,and the other one is at school. Works perfectly for us, definitely no regrets.

It isn't that unusual to home ed just one child to meet their differing needs.
I'd also check in on your older child too though, especially if DC1 is female and DC2 is male - just in case the 'good manners and incredible effort' are masking neurodiversity too (as what you describe is a classic one line summary of what used to be called 'high functioning' autism in females).

Why would that be unreasonable? I HE one child as she couldn't manage in a mainstream school. I have 3 other children no way could I HE all of them.

I have five dc and homeschooled one of them. It was what he needed, the others didn't. They were fine at school.
The one I took out of school, well, I did and still do think it saved his life. They're all different, and each had the best for them.

Thank you so much for the encouragement.

They are individuals. Chose the best setting for them as individuals. 8

I’d say there is nothing wrong with just home educating one if that’s what meets that child’s needs and you want to home Ed, however you shouldn’t feel pushed into home Ed if that’s not what actually want do to as it’s going to be for a long time and even if you decided you no longer wanted to do it would be difficult to slot your child straight back into a school that could meets needs. We had major issues in mainstream from year one with my son who is autistic. It always used to annoy me as whenever I’d ask for advise they’d always be people who said “have you thought about home education?”. I had and knew I definitely didn’t want to do and it’s not right that people should be made to feel guilty or selfish if they don’t want to home Ed. Head of school I felt was also pressuring me to withdraw child and I just wouldn’t be pushed into it as I knew I didn’t want to home Ed. Instead I stuck with school and as awful as it was ended up getting ehcp and then specialist school by year 4, he’s now in specialist secondary and doing well. I’ve no issue with home Ed but feel like the numbers have gone up so much lately because people feel pushed into it and that there’s no other option which I don’t think is right or fair