To have a party in my garden?

[NorfolkEnchantsIsThere]

DS will be turning 18 in June and we've been discussing party options. We've a small family and he has a small group of friends so around 15-20 people for the full party with maybe 10 popping in to say hi through the night but wouldn't be staying long. We could hire a function room but the costs seem to be adding up (renting room, food, dj etc) so it's in the region of £400 for this option. We've also toyed with the idea of having it in our back garden and just getting some food delivered.

DS thinks our neighbours would complain about the noise. Once family leave there would be a group of 10-12 18 year olds in the back garden til probably around 10/11 and then they can move into the kitchen where I'll have a cut off time of 1am. The neighbours do have a young child, however in the 10 years that we've been neighbours we've never ever had any sort of party or even small get together which they could complain about. They, on the other hand, have had numerous birthdays, a stag do, a wedding party, a christening and hot tub evenings all through the summer months in their garden. Not to mention they have 3 dogs who bark day and night.

I'm inclined to say let's just go for it but the decent neighbour in me says their young child will probably get woke by the noise and it's not fair.

YABU They'll be too noisy just book a function room
YANBU It's one night and they've got no right to complain.

[HappiestSleeping]

You have every right to enjoy your property. Nobody expects total silence from neighbours, and the fact that you are thinking this tells me you are a good neighbour. None of mine have ever bothered.

If I were in your position, I would definitely give neighbours a head's up about what's happening, and that you will be bringing them all inside and are mindful of excessive noise.

Invite them to come in for a glass of wine, and all is probably good.

[lanthanum]

A family in our village put notes through neighbours' doors to apologise in advance that they were hosting a post-prom party, but they would try to keep the noise down. They got notes back hoping that the youngsters would have a good time.

[CreateYourOwnUsername]

I think I'd rather book a venue for many reasons. Unless you have a large property or extremely tame 18 yos!

That said, our next door neighbour's dd turned 18 last summer and they had a party and it was no problem at all. They warned us and turned off music in the garden at about 10pm.

[BruFord]

Yes, just give them a heads-up and invite them to come over for a drink. It’s a one-off birthday party, it’s fine.

[mbosnz]

Our next door neighbours daughter had a party. Said daughter came to tell us about the party, apologise in advance for any disturbance, told us the time it would finish. I was fine with that, and made sure that they knew I'd be calling if there were any extensive noise after that, and made sure I had the number, which they were more than happy to provide.

[Bushmillsbabe]

My general thought is that's fine as long as music isn't crazy loud, but it also depends a bit on your house situation. If you are tight terrace house with shared walls it's very different to detached houses wide apart in the countryside.

The general rule is your neighbours shouldn't be able to hear any significant noise from your property after 11pm. Is it likely they would hear noise from your kitchen?

I think a heads up, advising of timescales (and sticking to them) is good manners

Do you have a back up plan if bad weather?

[MumofSpud]

My DS had his 18th and DD her 16th in our house / garden - I made him go round the closest neighbours first to tell them
If it was a weekly happening then maybe that's a bit out of order but these are one offs really
Also hiring a venue for teenagers is practically impossible (where I am anyway!)

Once a year in the summer a neighbour in an adjacent road has a party - the (v v v loud) music starts early afternoon and then is always switched off bang on 11pm - the music is good and last year we opened the windows to hear it better! Might gatecrash it this summer !

[WhateverMate]

Just do it.

When the neighbour starts paying your mortgage/rent, they'll get a say in you having a one-off party.

[SignoraVolpe]

We couldn’t get a venue to have our DD’s 18th, in fact we couldn’t even hire a marquee.
In the end we bought a small marquee and had the party in the garden. Everyone in by 11pm. Only one alcoholic drink with the cake.
Immediate neighbours informed.

[User373433]

Of course you can, it is your property, you have a right to enjoy it. A 1am cut off is very early too. The polite thing to do is to give your neighbours advanced warning. It is not impolite to ever make noise on your own property.

[Fizzadora]

They, on the other hand, have had numerous birthdays, a stag do, a wedding party, a christening and hot tub evenings all through the summer months in their garden. Not to mention they have 3 dogs who bark day and night.

You put up with this with no complaint yet you are worried that they might be disturbed by one relatively small party.
Crack on, I say and if they complain tell them it's going to be a regular event like they have and you will only stop them when they shut the fucking dogs up.

Let the other neighbours know in advance.

[NorfolkEnchantsIsThere]

The thing is, we ARE a terrace house (ours is end house) so yes quite a small house but massive garden to accomodate everyone. As a PP said it's quite difficult getting a function room which allows 18ths as I suppose they know some of the guests won't yet be 18 so this limits our choice of venue meaning taxis etc as none very local.

DS has the sweetest group of friends, they don't like to go into town for a night out as they're all quite shy/quiet and all very well mannered so I wouldn't worry at all about them wrecking anything (plus DH and I will be here although upstairs when family leave) or being overly noisy but I do know that in general a group of 12 or so young men will natually be a bit rowdy. They'll all also just be finished their Alevels so will maybe want to let off a bit of steam.

I think if we did decide to have the party here we'd definitely give them a heads up.

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Notes through neighbours doors and move indoors at 10pm

[morbidd]

Hire one of those inflatable night clubs. Would go down a treat.

[Hadalifeonce]

We just let our neighbours know what was happening and when, we also advised of the approximate end time.

[waftabout]

It's fine, go for it. Note through the door a few days in advance with your number in case there's an issue and get everyone inside before 11 or earlier if they're a bit rowdy.

[CreateYourOwnUsername]

I really don't think you need to worry about the neighbours though op. They'll likely not care or just roll back over in bed thinking "at least I don't have to clean up after them", much as you do when you have neighbours with newborns who cry in the night.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

[Runnerinthenight]

I wouldn't worry about them, just do it. If you get on ok let them know in advance (did they pre-warn you?)

What are you going to do though if it rains?

[BobbyBiscuits]

I'd say it should move indoors at maybe 10pm if possible. Just put a note round saying it's happening and the timings, and even tell them to pop round for a drink.
It's a one off, clearly. It's summer. Keep music down towards the end.
Afterwards you could bring round a bit of birthday cake or something to say thanks for being accommodating.

[AyeupDuck]

No one minds the occasional party, in the 25 years I have lived in my road there has been maybe a dozen loud parties of close neighbours. Two of those were mine Twice they went on till about 3am which was a bit crap. You could warn neighbours, that’s what we did. One was our house warmer, we invited both sides. The biggest was the post GCSE party, attached neighbours were on holiday which was handy. We had 30 sixteen year olds. Always inside by 10.30 pm. We never play music outside.

[dreadisabaddog]

I think this is fine. A kid a few doors down had a party last summer and told us it was happening. Our kids didn't get a great night's sleep but it was a big birthday. By contrast teen next door often has mental parties without warning when his parents go away and that annoys me because we're unprepared. I'd have no issue with what you propose provided I knew and there was a 1am cut off

[PonyPatter44]

Why are you tying yourself in knots about this? Parties are normal. This is proven by your neighbours hosting regular parties. Your plan is absolutely fine, put notes through the doors if you really must, but it seems excessive.

[cariadlet]

DS had her 16th and 18th parties in the garden. Only a small group of friends each time.

We let the next door neighbours know in advance. Dd and her friends were drinking at the 18th and had music for both but not too loud. They came inside around tennish.

As it was something that didn't happen often, the neighbours were absolutely fine with it.

[MalcolmTuckersSwearBox]

Yes to notes through neighbours doors or a post on the local FB group.

Yes to a sensible cut off for music noise / sending people home. Midnight or 1am is late enough for guests to have fun but not so outlandish for guests as a one off. Make sure you stick to it bang on though, whatever time you decide. Don't go a minute over.

Hope you all have a lovely time.

[CatMum27]

Basic niceties can make all the difference here. Advance warnings to the neighbours, a clear cut off time and contact details in case of an issue will be appreciated by most. In my experience it’s the not knowing when it will end that annoys people. If they know what’s coming they can make plans to mitigate if needed rather than feel annoyed that it was sprung on them.