I swerved whilst driving - angry driver behind said she will report me. AIBU?

[GettingItAllRong]

Just picked my DS up from school which is down busy winding country lanes.

Whilst driving I got distracted at one point and crossed over the line in the middle of the road. Thankfully nothing happened, I corrected myself and probably called myself an idiot.

The road was wet and I was driving below the speed limit but not stupidly slow.

The car behind me was really close. At some point after this she started beeping me aggressively. As I indicated and pulled into another road she followed closely and beeped loudly again. As I passed another school I slowed to let cars pass and again she started aggressively beeping. Every time I let anyone out or I was driving below the speed limit she was beeping, right up my arse and flashing at me. At times she looked like she was going to overtake me in dangerous places.

When we got to a roundabout she pulled up beside me and mimed that she had filmed me and that I shouldn't be on the road and she'd report me.

I was confused. I can't tell if she was mad because I wasn't driving fast and was letting people past or if it was the swerve.

To be fair, I was distracted when I swerved. I can't remember at what point it happened but I had been sneezing some of the time, my son felt sick and was talking lots. He has selective mutism at school (ASD kid) and tends to talk when he gets in the car. I'm also very stressed at the moment and am easily distracted. I can't remember at what point I swerved but I know I did rummage in my bag and pass my son my phone. There isn't an excuse but I can't tell if I'm IABU or she is?

Also kinda worried that if she reports me to the police for the swerving I'll get into trouble.

[HelloMiss]

Both as bad as each other tbh!

[vanillawaffle]

To be fair, I was distracted when I swerved. I can't remember at what point it happened but I had been sneezing some of the time, my son felt sick and was talking lots. He has selective mutism at school (ASD kid) and tends to talk when he gets in the car. I'm also very stressed at the moment and am easily distracted. I can't remember at what point I swerved but I know I did rummage in my bag and pass my son my phone.

I don't think you should be driving if you're easily distracted at the moment

[NearlyBritishSummertimeYay]

I'd say she's probably a very aggressive driver who speeds everywhere. I wouldn't worry about her reporting you as it's a PITA to do & her dash cam won't show her in a very good light!!

[BIWI]

Driving without due care and attention:

https://www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/rs/road-safety/driving-offences/#:~:text=The%20offence%20of%20driving%20without,consideration%20for%20other%20road%20users.

Stop ferreting around in your handbag when you're driving!

You're very lucky you didn't have an accident. Which would have been your fault.

[poetryandwine]

If she was following too closely, I suspect any video would make that clear. If she has half a brain she will realise this and think better of reporting you, OP.

However, gently - rummaging in your bag to give DS your phone whilst driving? Not cool.

[PanadTe]

She sounds like a nob. Ignore. I doubt much will come of her reporting as the video will show how dangerously close she was and the sound of her beeping

[Createausername1970]

You were rummaging in your bag whilst driving?

I don't know what happened, but if she thought you were bad enough to film, then maybe your driving isn't as good as you think it is?

[Missmariannedashwood]

You don’t sound like you’re safe enough to be on the road. You’re lucky you didn’t take someone out. If you’re that easily distracted you might be better taking the bus in future.

[Cantara]

Both dangerous and as bad as each other - you for not concentrating and faffing around with your bag to pass your son a phone, the swerving and not paying full attention could both easily cause an accident.
She shouldn't have been acting aggressively and tailgating.

I wouldn't want either of you behind me on the road, the risk of being rear-ended would be high by the sounds of it.

[GettingItAllRong]

I agree, but unfortunately DS is in a SEND school on the other side of the county. I spend three hours a day on his school run. I can't move closer because my other DS is also at a SEND school about an hour away in the other direction. They both require differing provision and moving them to the same school would be another battle with the LA which I cannot afford. I am exhausted. I don't want to be in the situation but my children need to be in school.

[Tiswa]

you cannot rummage in a bag to get a phone and be that distracted you could easily have caused an accident - you must know that is what she was talking about

[Gullsoaring]

I really can't stand people who like to be angry and aggressive about other's poor driving, when whilst doing so they are demonstrating themselves to be extremely poor drivers. Tail gaiting and misuse of the horn are both examples of shit (and dangerous) driving.

No moral high ground whatsoever and too thick to realise it. Not a great combo.

[Theunamedcat]

You made one mistake the other driver made many many mistakes

Personally I would ask for transport for the longer distance provision and cut your load a little

[GettingItAllRong]

@Tiswa

you cannot rummage in a bag to get a phone and be that distracted you could easily have caused an accident - you must know that is what she was talking about

Yes sorry, that was in response to @vanillawaffle I forgot to link it. But I do agree with you.

[fieldsofbutterflies]

@GettingItAllRong

I agree, but unfortunately DS is in a SEND school on the other side of the county. I spend three hours a day on his school run. I can't move closer because my other DS is also at a SEND school about an hour away in the other direction. They both require differing provision and moving them to the same school would be another battle with the LA which I cannot afford. I am exhausted. I don't want to be in the situation but my children need to be in school.

None of that is a reason to be rummaging in your bag while you're driving - you could have killed someone.

She shouldn't have behaved the way she did but I've been behind people who were swerving everywhere and it's bloody scary.

[HelloMiss]

@GettingItAllRong

I agree, but unfortunately DS is in a SEND school on the other side of the county. I spend three hours a day on his school run. I can't move closer because my other DS is also at a SEND school about an hour away in the other direction. They both require differing provision and moving them to the same school would be another battle with the LA which I cannot afford. I am exhausted. I don't want to be in the situation but my children need to be in school.

So what?? Does not give you the go ahead to be a dangerous driver....organise yourself better

[vanillawaffle]

@GettingItAllRong

I agree, but unfortunately DS is in a SEND school on the other side of the county. I spend three hours a day on his school run. I can't move closer because my other DS is also at a SEND school about an hour away in the other direction. They both require differing provision and moving them to the same school would be another battle with the LA which I cannot afford. I am exhausted. I don't want to be in the situation but my children need to be in school.

Then you need to focus on driving safely. Your son needs your phone? You pull over. Your son being too distracting? You pull over. If you kill someone your excuses won't cut it

[IncompleteSenten]

Can you get the la to fund transport? My youngest got a taxi there and back when he was in school funded based on his needs.

[Deadringer]

Her behaviour was much worse than yours. There are legitimate reasons why you might swerve and she should be far back enough that it wouldn't affect her. However you probably do need to learn a lesson from it and ensure that you are not distracted.

[Daffidale]

Her behaviour was unreasonable. What did she want you to do with all the tailgating and beeping???

You should have been paying attention. You shouldn’t have gone over the line. That was really dangerous and could have caused a horrible accident. But you know that and hopefully won’t do it again.

You doing one dangerous thing doesn’t excuse her doing multiple dangerous things

Try to put it out of your mind. And maybe think about how you can set yourself up better when driving DS so you don’t need to be rummaging around to distract him.

[TimeGrabsYouByTheWrist]

She isn't going to give that video to anyone.

You were a muppet for not paying attention. She was a deranged lunatic for following you like that and if she uploaded the video she would be the one getting slated!

[Pinkdelight3]

Jesus, stop trotting out all the SEND excuses. You're driving a car. You need to concentrate and if you can't you shouldn't be driving it. That's all there is to it. People get killed everyday by idiot drivers getting distracted, swerving and that's it - someone's dead. There are no excuses and certainly not these ones.

[minthybobs]

Don’t worry OP, what’s she gonna do with her stupid footage which shows her dangerously tailgating you?! It’s an empty dickish threat and she will come out worse.

You shouldn’t get distracted whilst driving though and you know that so just be more careful next time. No harm done.

[WhateverMate]

If I were you I'd be far more worried about my disregard for safety than about being reported.

But nothing will happen even if she does hand the dashcam footage to the police, as it's not going to get you rummaging around for your phone.

[NotTerfNorCis]

For all she knows you swerved to avoid a pothole or a small animal on the verge.

She sounds really aggressive. It started with her being too close, then she moved onto following and harassing you? No way she'd have a case against you.