Solve this one for me MNs- some hussy trying to nick my fella.

[mumblesmummy]

Longish story but it gets there in the end, bear with me.

So MY Dp is perfect in every way as I've said a million times, we just click together and are very happy.

I'm 33 weeks pregnant (almost) and he thinks the world of me, our bump, and he's marrying me next year. Fandabbydozey.

However, his job contract has come to an end and to avoid moving far away he's been searching for a job. He could take one which will start in a few weeks but it's a low wage but a lot of hours and very close by so he's on call for when I go into labour and close for the baby.

Or he could take another which is about 45 minutes away, a much higher wage and probably quite a lot of hours. Sounds good doesn't it?

So he'd phoned up about it and had an appointment to go and see the woman about it today. However, past few days he's been a little off and wound up and stuff. I didn't know why, so last night in hormonal rage I shouted at him about it and suddenly he was back to old him. After he admitted something.

He said he didn't want to go for the high piad job.

I didn't get why, so I asked and he said he didn't like the woman he spoke to on the phone. I laughed it off and told him not to be silly.

Which was when he told me that his friend who works there (who had got him in the job in the first place) had told him that this woman makes it her business to sleep with all the men she employs, and that if he flirted a bit the job was his, guaranteed, but that she'd try to get into him once he worked there.

Also, she'd made her intentions very clear in the phone call with my DP and she'd finished the phone call with 'so call in on Wednesday so i can take a look at you' and people in the back ground started laughing. He said she was really obvious.

He's still going to go to the meeting. Which I wasn't bothered about because he'd not a cheat and can be trusted, and he doesn't want to let his friend down, so he wants to look like he's atleast trying.

I'm now starting to get a little pissed off and territorial.

Am I being unreasonable and what should I do? I've not told him I'm bothered, I've just laughed it off, so he seems a bit calmer about it but said if she acts like it when he's there, he's leaving.

[harleyd]

funny thread

[mumblesmummy]

No the other boss (male) gave him the job, he just had to go to her to sort out the hours and benefits and things, so she didn't get a say.

[Monkeytrousers]

she got knocked back but still gave him the job? She sounds like a female David Brent.

[mumblesmummy]

She started off already flirting on the phone, but when they met to sort out hours and benefits, she obviously liked what she saw. Anyway, it's done now and we're sorted so it doesn't matter. She got knocked back and that's all that matters.

[StripeyKnickersSpottySocks]

I just find it odd that a woman would be making her intentions clear with a man she hasnt met. I mean she could meet him and think he's a right gimp and not be the slightest bit attracted.

[mumblesmummy]

Oh she made her intentions VERY clear. I know exactly what was said and I was quite upset about it. But I'm just going to pretend it didn't happen because he made it very clear that he wasn't interested.

He definately can't be nicked, but to be honest, since I'm 7 and a half months pregnant and looking somewhat beached whale-ish, I just didn't like the thought of anyone trying it on with him. I'm so proud of him though, for telling me and being so grown up about it all.

He definately doesn't try to make me jealous, he always plays attention down.

Beeper- Thanks, I know he's great and rare, and I definately didn't think there was a man like it until I met him. Plus my family absolutely love him.

For everyone who said about her being a poor woman working with men and acquiring a name for no reason, I can understand why everyone's said it because I used to work with all men and got a name for no reason at all because I never went near any of them. It was horrendous. However, this was most certainly not the case with this lady, as she has said some VERY inappropriate things. If a man had acted like that with me, I would have reported him. Somehow it's very different and seems somewhat socially accepted for a female boss to act in this way.

On the money front, I know it's not everything, but we need to pay off our debts so that we can get a mortgage, so we do need the money. It's turned out for the best really. He's got the job, he's made it clear he's unavailable, he's got the possibility of going into management, and we've got no secrets and worked through it together. So all for the best really.

[hercules1]

I don't understand that. I occasionally see 'hot' men and possibly despite being over 30 on occasion said 'hot' man might look at me and consider me as being 'hot'. That doesn't mean we then leap into bed together...

[Willowwisp]

He can't be 'taken' if he doesn't want to be!

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[Simiantrousers]

But actually I agree with TenaciousG - it;s probably a just bitching, so he should take the job

[Simiantrousers]

Cod, what if he see's her and thinks she's hot?

[Simiantrousers]

If he's good enough for that job he'll be good enough for a similar paying one.

That's me finished now, soz

[Simiantrousers]

There are other jobs to go for. The choices don't end here do they??

[Simiantrousers]

I thknk he's being very intellegent. Better trust his instincts and support him as you'd expect him to you.

[motherinferior]

Christ yes, agree with Citylover and Beaniesteve.

I can, incidentally, assure you that even ancient crones in their 30s are quite able to pull.

[camillathechicken]

no wonder she is leaving if she is talked about in such nasty, disparaging terms

[citylover]

And I tend to think words like slapper and the like just buy into the whole madonna/whore thing and double standards in sexual matters.

Which men like to perpetuate because it suits the status quo.

I get quite peed off when women join in as well.

[hercules1]

Sounds like a horrible situation of men working under a successful woman and being jealous and finding the only way to deal with this is to gossip about how she is and wants to sleep with them all.

[WallOfSilence]

It wouldn't matter what any woman had on her mind if the man involved wasn't up for it.....

I think either your dh was trying to make you jealous or his friend was winding him up!

[beeper]

Mumblesmummy,

Do you have any idea of how rare a man that you have, a man that would give up the chance of earning good money in order to avoid any threat to his family or relationship. Who was even prepared to take a low paid job in order to keep healthy the most important things in his life.

A man like this is rare, and if it would have been me I would have been made up that he thought so much of me that he would literally 'run away' from a possibly horrible situation.

Money is nothing, faithfullness and loyallty in relationships is everything.

[mumblesmummy]

*man

Not 'mad' lol.

[mumblesmummy]

I didn't get to post earlier this week as been so busy.

Turns out she's as horrid as I suspected. It wasn't a wind up.

However, she is leaving in the next couple of months and the moneys so good he's taking the job which I'm fine with.

Yes he's hot lol... not that i think it would have mattered either way.

But he's also really trustworthy and not out for that at all.

Thanks for all the advice- especially everyone who said for him to go and give it a chance. We're actually hoping he'll get her job when she leaves. And she works alongside a mad ( he's the other manager).

[NiftyNanny]

There is of course the possibility that she's not as clever as to realise that's what she's done, and that she relishes the fact she's Alpha Female Shag Machine, in which case, they may have a point about her and it's up to DP to be the grown up one.

[NiftyNanny]

Yes, I agree with Sprogger. I've been a woman in a completely male dominated environment before and it's difficult not to use flirting sometimes. Sounds like she is in a particularly masculine industry - security - and the blokes she works with have probably given her enough crap that she has taken the bull by the horns and decided to cast herself in the predatory role so she's the one in control.

I think your DH should give the interview a go, see what he thinks of this woman face to face and not rise to her suggestiveness. She might even welcome someone who isn't going to play that tacky little game.

If he gets the job, he'll get it on his merits not because he flirts with her. If she's any kind of boss she'll know that. If she passes him over for someone else because she thinks he won't live up to the office atmosphere as her = sexual Queen Bee, then you have every right to be p*ed off and yet again we can all grump about how life isn't fair in work and the battle of the sexes will rage on.

Incidentally I have a friend who is a biker chick roadie and she's had to put up with SO much nonsense. I was often the lone female in a dept full of 30 something men but I managed to be the fat chick friend type, which worked for years, but when I lost weight and got "hot" there was a subtle shift especially amongst clients. It's a grim world out there when you combine work and sexual politics. Makes you want to become a card carrying feminazi. But that's almost as bad.

[controlfreakyagain]

perhaps he's still "being interviewed"