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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be angry at mums who push in the school line?

20 replies

FourJays · 18/03/2008 13:01

DS1 is a sweet sweet sensitive boy.
This morning he was so good - got ready for school nicely, walked to school properly. Hence we were first in the line. Hurray! He LOVES that, he gets to hold the teacher's hand and lead the class in.

BUT...there are a couple of mums and kids who wander up a bit later and just stand in front of us. They always do this and I imagine they believe it is their "place".

DS1 tries to tell their kids to get behind him in the line but they don't.

Teacher comes out and other kids push forward too wanting to show teacher their lovely Easter bonnets, leaving DS1 open mouthed and he bursts into tears. He doesn't understand why he didn't get to lead the class in and hold her hand. In fact everyone has pushed so much that he is one of the last in. He was so upset when I left him this morning and soon he'll begin to think "Why should I queue up nicely?" won't he. It doesn't get him anywhere.

OP posts:

mollythetortoise · 18/03/2008 13:08

I think you are being unreasonable.. you don't say how old your ds is but I'm guessing reception/ year 1? I am sure it wouldn't be done deliberately to push your ds out, more that all the kids are excited.. I know my dd is excited every morning and getting into the classroom in mornings is rather rough and tumble.. for older children, they line up in playground and file in so this won't be an issue in a year or so..
I would try not to make a big deal of being first in the classroom, tell your son it doesn't matter who gets in first, holds teachers hand etc.. teach him that is polite to let others go first and then praise him for being very polite.. he can feel good about that instead..

DoodleToYou · 18/03/2008 13:20

Message withdrawn

Original poster

FourJays · 18/03/2008 16:11

He is year one but in our school year ones line up and parents don't go into the classroom.
It's just annoying that these two women barge past everyone else every single morning.

OP posts:

bozza · 18/03/2008 16:16

I would mention it to the teacher. Don't make a big deal just mention it. I have two children who are both always at the back of the line so know how you feel.

belgo · 18/03/2008 16:18

YANBU. All the children should follow the rules and line up properly. Maybe the teacher needs to remind everyone of this?

chickeninabox · 18/03/2008 16:19

My ds always runs to the front of the queue for putting his name on the tree. He has ASD though so the concept of queueing goes right over his head...

Kitti · 18/03/2008 16:20

My youngest is only 4 and in early years reception and their are some boys who stand nicely in a line so she stands behind them and they all go in one at a time lovely! It is the mums who come along and puch in because they all want to get to the teacher first - if 4 year olds can queue nicely then certainly the year 1 kids can. I can see why he's upset when he was their first - would be ok to queue hop at an amuesment park?? This is exactly the sort of behaviour that needs to be nipped in the bud at an early age. I would definitely speak to the teacher to see if he can lead the kids in tomorrow (even if he isn't first to arrive!) Do they do special person at your school? In my daughter's class one child is picked to be special person that day and that child leads the rest out at the end of the day. Names are picked at random from a hat

Original poster

FourJays · 18/03/2008 16:23

chickeninabox - I'm guessing your son isn't 40 and old enough to know better!!!

OP posts:

chickeninabox · 18/03/2008 16:25

he is 3 and at pre-school. It's unlikely that he will ever appreciate the concept of queuing

LynetteScavo · 18/03/2008 16:26

Sorry this happened to your DS

YANBU - I would talk to his teacher, and ask if she can make a point of looking for him, and taking his hand one moening.

The trouble is, I think you need to be a bit more assertive. If I was there first, I would tell the other mothers (and children)to GET BACK if they tried to push in. If you show your son how to be polite, but assertive, it will provide him with a good example of how to behave when you're not around.

chamaeleon · 18/03/2008 16:28

hang back, think up some excuse to to talk to the teacher and then position him in the front. dont tell him you are doing it obv, he will shout it out to the pushy mums! yes its ridiculous but small children are ridiculous so to him its important.

Original poster

FourJays · 18/03/2008 16:57

Chick - many people don't get the concept of queuing at all. Like MUMs in playground!!!!

OP posts:

2shoesistheeasterbunny · 18/03/2008 17:08

have a whisper with the teacher. sad if he starts the day with tears.

lollipopmother · 18/03/2008 17:24

Why talk to the teacher, you need to talk to the ruddy mums!

Trolleydolly71 · 18/03/2008 17:37

Message withdrawn

KimiKilledTheEasterBunny · 18/03/2008 17:46

YANBU we have a few mothers like this at DS2s school, sad pathetic women who have to have their little darlings at the front of the queue and then tell the teacher this that and the other, one mother did this from reception till year 6 even the teachers took the piss out of her in the end, and she was teaching her children to be rude, pushing in all the time, her DD is having a really hard time at high school now.

If I were you I would have a quite chat with the teacher, your poor DS can't go in to school so upset, its not fair.

Alambil · 18/03/2008 21:46

My DS is the exact same as yours; sensitive, especially to pushing in when he's been first except now he will answer back to the lad who shouts (literally about 2 inches from his face "WHY are you FIRST AGAIN?") - DS says "I'm not talking to you - you are shouting" which of course annoyes shouter more!

I can't wait to tell this child, next time he shouts that they live closer to school than us so mummy should just leave earlier - then he'd be first... but I doubt I will!

I would talk to the teacher too - they can cover being kind and politeness etc in PSHE lesson time

hotcrossMonkeybun · 18/03/2008 21:48

am amazed schools still do this - seems archaic and a bit like hard work all round to me. What is the reason?

Our school asks reception parents to take them in; Year ones are gradually encouraged to enter school by themselves; by year two, they all go in by themselves when the bell goes.

Oliveoil · 18/03/2008 21:50

I would mention it to the teacher, say it means a lot to him, that he is sensitive (so is my dd1) and tomorrow could she make a big deal of saying "oh Barltholomew (!!!), will you lead the way this morning?" and take his hand

dd1 would get upset the same way if our school had this system and some tossers other mothers were pushing in

VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/03/2008 21:55

Oh that must be v annoying for you.

We have this with one particular mum at school. It's first come first served with letting children out at home time.

Guaranteed she'll dash to the front every time. It wouldnt actually bother me, except for the fact that twice now she's actually ended up nudging me out of the way

It gives us entertainment though...small things, you know.

To OP - would suggest that if it happens again and the other parents arent saying anything - just organise a queue of children yourself. No parent could object to a lesson in manners, surely ?

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