DH using my A/L for his benefit

Elcapitano · 2023-03-31 13:06:28

So I'm quite annoyed at this and want an outside perspective please. It's dds 7th birthday party tomorrow, it's at a soft play 3-5 and we're going along at 2.30 to set the place up. I usually work tomorrow until 4 so told dh I'd booked it off to get stuff ready for the party and just have a nice build up to the party with dd. We also have ds 4 who has sen so it's hard to do much of anything when they're both around. Ds is having some behavioural issues and can lash out particularly at dd if he's not supervised. When I first mentioned it dh was ecstatic he could now go to football. I said I'm not taking the day off for you to disappear for 4.5 hours, it's to get ready and us have a nice time with the kids. He had a gob on but agreed and nothing mentioned in the last 4/5 weeks. Today on his way out to work he said, ah yeah I'll do that after football. I sort of did a double take and said you're not going? He said he thought it was a given because he mentioned that his assistant manager wouldn't be there earlier in the week. He made absolutely no reference to him going and it was so casual it barely even registered. I just feel staggered at the selfishness of it. I need to decorate her cake, dd asked for her hair to be curled, I generally just wanted to be around the kids in the build up and have a nice day. I look a mess and wanted some time to actually put on some makeup and do my hair too. I said I'd be cancelling the leave if he was going to go to football. He said he was leaving the house tomorrow at 09.30 either way. Wtf. I feel totally held to ransom.

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Thanks to all who gave advice and support to the OP. She's very concerned that the details here could be potentially quite outing and so we've agreed to take the thread down.