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How often do you see friends DC?

12 replies

Beebumbled · 05/10/2022 08:54

A close friend made a comment a few weeks ago that I can’t shift about me not having seen her 3 year old for 6 weeks and him forgetting me. It’s got me thinking how often other people see friends children? As a friendship group we try and meet up once or twice a month for dinner (out without kids) and try and do something with kids but it’s becoming increasingly challenging to commit to doing something every other weekend or on a week night. Life is busy. DH and I both work full time, have a 2 year old and both sets of parents are split (that’s a whole different thread in the future on keeping everyone else happy!).

For context - female friendship group of 6, all in our 30s and all have between 1-3 children (ranging from 6m-12years old).

OP posts:
Beebumbled · 05/10/2022 08:57

Probably should have added for context that we’re not all 5 minutes from eachother. We live in neighbouring counties and are all between 15-45 minute drive apart.

OP posts:
youagainomg · 05/10/2022 09:00

I see some friends kids once or twice a month, others a couple of times a year. Your friend is being ridiculous.

2pinkginsplease · 05/10/2022 09:00

My closest friend we saw once a week straight after school, kids are all at uni now and I meet her once a fortnight for coffee and cake, our eldest children who are 21 are going out for lunch today as they haven’t seen each other in ages. I love that they are both still friends.

my other friends with children we see once every few months.

life is busy between children, partners, after school activities, family, work etc.

I think your friend is being unreasonable.

prescribingmum · 05/10/2022 09:08

Unless the children go to same school or have a common activity with mine, every few months. When preschool age, possibly more often if we were having play dates during the week but that relied on us both having sake days off work to happen so didn't work with all friends

MissingNashville · 05/10/2022 09:11

I have a close circle of friends and we see each other a lot with and without kids. The kids are mostly teens and older now but when they were younger we would see each other’s kids at least every week. Now they’re teens, it’s less as they’re often out with friends but we still arrange things with everyone invited every month or two. We do weekends away with adults and kids too. There’s no pressure though, if someone’s busy, they’re busy.

tranquiltortoise · 05/10/2022 09:21

It sounds like your friend just wants you to have a strong bond with her child, which is a nice sentiment really. But she is being overly sensitive putting pressure on you like that.

Life is busy and you can only do what you can do.

If you remain in your friend's life as her child grows then he will know you, he's not going to forget you.

Worthyornot · 05/10/2022 09:50

Only when I see a friend. I would never arrange something specifically to just see the child. That would be odd.

Beebumbled · 05/10/2022 11:07

Thanks everyone, appreciate the replies!

I think it’s just a strange transition perhaps as I was on maternity leave and around ALOT to see friends and kiddies and now I’m back at work and trying to juggle being a mum, a wife, a daughter and a friend. I’m likely being over sensitive about the comment also! We’re a close group but it’s a challenge to find activities to suit the age range so won’t all go to every activity

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 05/10/2022 13:12

Once or twice a year at best.

GetThatHelmetOn · 10/12/2022 19:08

I only met with my friends and their kids when our children were the same age and got along.

If they weren’t or didn’t, we all much preferred to meet without kids if their interests were so disimilar it was a struggle keeping everyone happy.

I also avoided meeting with people who were too protective and too precious about their kids because they tended to be both too critical and too sensitive so there was no joy in meeting, it was like walking on eggshells all the day long!

Baconsprouts · 10/12/2022 19:15

At least once a week for close friends, a few times a month for less close friends children

Nevermind31 · 10/12/2022 19:48

To be honest…. I’m interested in friend, less so in child (especially since having my own, any child free time I don’t particularly want to spend with other children).
Would see child if meeting with friend, but would not specifically make plans to see child, unless it is a playdate

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