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AIBU?

To have been really put off Parkrun by this

441 replies

rookiemere · 06/09/2022 10:10

I'll start by saying I love parkrun. I've done over 130 of them and it's a real treat to discover a new one when we're away on holiday.

Everyone there is lovely and welcoming and it's such a great way to start Saturdays with a 5km run.

I am also older, fat and slow, but this is fine as I'm not there to win it.

So last Saturday headed to one of my usual parkruns with a friend. There was a traffic incident so many people didn't make it. This meant that rather than being in the back 10 or so I ended up being the last person bar the tail runner. Again all fine and someone has to be there.

However for the last km or so as I went past people who were dispersing made a big point of clapping loudly and shouting on encouragement. Obviously meant to be supportive, but I've run so many of the damn things and I just like to be invisible rather than the obviously last, slow ploddy person who people want to help.

I'm actually really nervous about going again, it upset me so much. I could go to one with more runners and then I should be less likely to be right at the back, but its a further drive and the whole thing has knocked my confidence and I don't know what to do.

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boobybum · 06/09/2022 10:23

Oh it’s such a shame that this has made you feel nervous now. When I started parkrun I was very close to the back and I think I also felt a little self conscious and initially felt slightly patronised when faster runners would cheer or comment but I came to realise that they really are trying to be encouraging and especially after they’d finished running and were full of endorphins!

I don’t think there is ever any malice intended and I know that I always feel more inspired by the people who have to work harder to complete a run than by those who whip around in sub-20 minutes.

Have you considered volunteering at the run as the tail-runner? That way you wouldn’t have to worry about being last and they are usually always keen for helpers.

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Wombat27A · 06/09/2022 10:24

I was always the fattest and slowest in my CF classes, this has meant lots of clapping and cheering for just me...

I know what you mean but it's meant well.

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EatingWormsMichael · 06/09/2022 10:30

I get this when I'm out jogging, I'm slow and steady, I get dog walkers telling me "come on, you'll get there in the end love, stick at it" etc

I'm not trying to be Paula Ratcliffe ffs. So I totally understand the desire to be invisible. I sometimes change my route to avoid patronising cheerers but appreciate you can't do that at park run!

I'd never do my local park run cos they seem to post lots of runners with thumbs up photos, no doubt I would be huffing along like a beetroot.

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MasterBeth · 06/09/2022 10:40

This is why I will never do Parkrun. Couldn't think of anything worse. It reeks of forced fun and everyone congratulating themselves on how supportive and caring they are while desperately trying to inch their way up the field. Real "Come on, Tim!" Daily Mail energy, with self-important wannabe midle-managers in hi-vis coralling others with megaphones to do their bidding. Passive aggressive pretentious lower-case "p" in all the marketing. And great hordes of "all the gear, no idea" runners imposing themselves on all the local parks on Saturday mornings with no regard for anyone else.

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bellac11 · 06/09/2022 10:42

I cant run so would never do a park run but if I gathered up the fitness, lost weight and momentum to join one and was met with this (because I would be last), I would be absolutely mortified.

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rookiemere · 06/09/2022 10:43

@boobybum I was tail walker once but then ended up tending the lady I was walking with as she fell over - and then revealed she'd never intended to complete the two loops anyway- and had to sprint to catch up the second last people. So I vowed never to be tail walker again Grin.

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JimmyShoo · 06/09/2022 10:49

I’m a slow runner but I honestly think parkrun is a really supportive environment. I’ve always felt that the other runners genuinely want to encourage me and that their support was genuine rather than patronising.

I actually find runners generally to be very encouraging towards newer or slower runners.

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watcherintherye · 06/09/2022 10:50

I was always the fattest and slowest in my CF classes,

I didn’t know they had classes for CFs! Grin

(Assuming it means something aside from the MN meaning!)

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rookiemere · 06/09/2022 10:55

MasterBeth · 06/09/2022 10:40

This is why I will never do Parkrun. Couldn't think of anything worse. It reeks of forced fun and everyone congratulating themselves on how supportive and caring they are while desperately trying to inch their way up the field. Real "Come on, Tim!" Daily Mail energy, with self-important wannabe midle-managers in hi-vis coralling others with megaphones to do their bidding. Passive aggressive pretentious lower-case "p" in all the marketing. And great hordes of "all the gear, no idea" runners imposing themselves on all the local parks on Saturday mornings with no regard for anyone else.

I think that's very unkind.
The volunteers have given up their free time to do this and running a short distance once a week will provide great health benefits for many people.

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CapMarvel · 06/09/2022 10:55

It's meant well and part of the whole thing, so really if you do parkrun you have to accept it comes with the territory.

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GimmeSleep · 06/09/2022 10:56

I use noise cancelling headphones so I'm oblivious to what others are doing /shouting when I parkrun 😁

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rookiemere · 06/09/2022 10:57

GimmeSleep · 06/09/2022 10:56

I use noise cancelling headphones so I'm oblivious to what others are doing /shouting when I parkrun 😁

That might be the way to go. I usually listen to my Audible but I forgot my headphones on Saturday.

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Suprima · 06/09/2022 10:58

I have been a very fast runner and I am currently a very slow runner. I have also done in excess of 100 Parkruns.

what you describe has been my experience at EVERY large Parkrun I have been to locally (London, so lots of choice). The smaller ones, people disperse- but the big ones…Southwark, Brockwell, Bushy….will always have people hanging around to cheer on the last runner. I am surprised you didn’t anticipate this happening?

I currently feel very tearful and embarrassed when someone shouts ‘you can do it!’ or something along those line, but it is completely well meant if it’s coming from another parkrunner. I don’t like random men with dogs commenting on my running so I give them less grace.

So I know completely how you feel. I won’t be returning to Parkrun until I am sub 30 again, but that’s to do with MY FEELINGS and how I feel about MYSELF. My slow running is making me feel self conscious and embarrassed. The people cheering for me and rooting for me are honestly just being kind and full of endorphins.

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FrozenGhost · 06/09/2022 10:59

I know how you feel OP. It's the same thing in my crossfit class, if someone finishes last or it's their first class or whatever, you are supposed to cheer them on but it comes off a bit patronising. I slightly cringe when it's me, but I know that everyone means well and no one is thinking that I'm shit (I'm sure they aren't thinking about me at all). Don't let it put you off.

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ThistleSifter · 06/09/2022 11:05

watcherintherye · 06/09/2022 10:50

I was always the fattest and slowest in my CF classes,

I didn’t know they had classes for CFs! Grin

(Assuming it means something aside from the MN meaning!)

I’ve seen these advertised - they combine bad parking techniques & methods of blocking/trespassing neighbours drives with “How To” guides on noise maximisation covering dogs, music, shouting, garden entertaining etc.

Then a quick run through on basic practicalities ie hot tub installation, home outdoor bar construction and how to fund the purchase of multiple cars and pets. How to roll a spliff to smoke outside the windows of others etc.

Finally a meditation on removal of self-awareness.

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Insertdeadcatsnamehere · 06/09/2022 11:07

Urgh. I've been thinking of doing parkrun for a while but this has totally put me off. Couldn't stand being patronised like that (I usually go really early on a Saturday and am skulking out of the park just as they all arrive, will carry on doing that rather than feeling publically humiliated I think!).

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Minee · 06/09/2022 11:07

I get this!
I joined a group gym session and it was all taking turns and encouragement from people waiting. Then counting down my reps and cheering my name.
It was incredibly embarrassing and patronising and I never went back!

I appreciate its done for encouragement and with good intentions but it just didn't work for me.

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FourChimneys · 06/09/2022 11:15

The reason I don't do Parkrun is that I don't want my times recorded and added to their statistics. I know you can avoid it but it's too much faff and I'd rather just go for a run on my own. Also our local one puts up endless photos on Facebook which I disagree with.

That said, OP, I suspect people meant well. Maybe give it another go in a week or two? Or enter another 5k race where there will be more people anyway?

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SerenadeOfTheSchoolRun · 06/09/2022 11:15

I am a slow parkrunner and I love being given encouragement. I think if everyone stopped saying well done for the last few that would be awful. Part of the point is that everyone gets supportive comments so if you find it embarrassing and patronising then you probably aren’t going yo enjoy parkrun sadly. One of my locals has a (shortish compared to an out and back) bit where the fast runners are coming back towards the slow runners and the well dones between runners is almost universal - it’s lovely.

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SerenadeOfTheSchoolRun · 06/09/2022 11:23

Looking again at your post I can see this was a one off in 130 parkruns. It’s unlikely that the numbers will be down so much very often. Get back on the horse next week and don’t allow one unusual experience to ruin all the good things about it.

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IvorCutler · 06/09/2022 11:24

Are you sure it was because you were at the back, or were they just an enthusiastic crowd? I’ve not done a run for a long time but I have had the same experience before when I was slim and quite fast!

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Doingprettywellthanks · 06/09/2022 11:25

I suggest it’s not for you then because this will likely happen every week

i watch my son and I try to root on all those running, especially those at the back, and I have no intention of stopping doing that

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CapMarvel · 06/09/2022 11:25

Insertdeadcatsnamehere · 06/09/2022 11:07

Urgh. I've been thinking of doing parkrun for a while but this has totally put me off. Couldn't stand being patronised like that (I usually go really early on a Saturday and am skulking out of the park just as they all arrive, will carry on doing that rather than feeling publically humiliated I think!).

It's not patronising though.

If you don't like the community feel of races/ parkrun etc just don't do them.

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Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 06/09/2022 11:25

I love the encouragement but then I have the hide of a rhino and I am always slow. Never found it patronising. It's drawn me in and kept me going, if anything.

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Delatron · 06/09/2022 11:25

It’s so good for you - don’t give up!
I’ve been a volunteer and I just cheer and encourage everyone. Nothing patronising- everyone is doing it at their own pace. Headphones are a good idea though if it annoys you.

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