Would it be offensive & rude to ask a family member to stop sending me pics of their dc?

[FabulousFlowerpots]

I just want to check if I'm being rude here. I want to ask (nicely) a family member not to send me pics of their kids. I'm not interested in a 100 pics of what Johnny ate for breakfast, Johnny getting the bus, Johnny eating his ice cream, Johnny at soft play, Johnny having his afternoon nap etc. You get the idea. I told a friend I want to stop the pics and she said there's nothing I can say that won't cause offence. What d'you think? Aibu? How can I handle this better?

[Supersimkin2]

Everyone aches to do this but civilisation has not yet invented the perfect refusal.

[BattenburgDonkey]

@YouAreNotBatman

Well that is fucking boring, that’s for sure!
I’m suorised about the answers.
Surely it’s rude to bore people with your kids pictures, they can’t believe anyone else cares, right?

Some people do care though! I’m happy to see pics of friends and relatives kids, so yes, whilst they may be OTT it’s not crazy to assume other people care.

[YouAreNotBatman]

Well that is fucking boring, that’s for sure!
I’m suorised about the answers.
Surely it’s rude to bore people with your kids pictures, they can’t believe anyone else cares, right?

[SewingMum46]

The thing was that I actually had to ask for pics of the kids! But she was bonkers enough not to send them - she thought I’d rather see the stuff she sent🤣

[Onwards22]

YABU
They obviously care about you and want you to share in their joy.
You sound jealous.

Just ignore them and reply every now and then a “so cute xx” text.

I can’t see how it affects your day.

Oh and I do have someone spamming me with pics of their motorbike which I really don’t care about at all but I know they love it so although I don’t reply straight away it doesn’t annoy me.

[oakleaffy]

@FabulousFlowerpots

I see no one's saying tell them. I bet other people would be annoyed with me if I spammed them with pics of every bit of my motorbike that I'm restoring.

Haha! I have two family members who do this
''Look at this bit , look at that''..I just say ''Looks good'' or ''I don't really know what I'm looking at''
When a bike is fully done, then I can see a marked difference.

[fUNNYfACE36]

Why don't you just ignore, why are you set on being so nasty?

[BattenburgDonkey]

@SewingMum46

About 20 years ago one of my DSILs used to send us emails which always contained sexually explicit “funny” pictures - think naked man holding hot dog roll with something other than a hot dog inside the roll, as an example. It was long before smartphones and we lived in a very conservative country where emails were monitored for offensive content - and I often used to open mails with DD as they were a bit of a novelty. So I always had a bit of a sinking feeling when I saw something from her in my inbox.
I actually had to email DSIL and ask her to send me family photos and not the stuff that she thought we’d find funny but could land us in serious trouble.
After I’d emailed though, we didn’t get any more photos. At all. And she’s not married to DBIL any more either.

Im not sure the naked man holding a hotdog is comparable to photos of a toddler having lunch or whatever, your relative sounds very strange though!

[MyCatIsAJerk]

@FabulousFlowerpots

I just want to check if I'm being rude here. I want to ask (nicely) a family member not to send me pics of their kids. I'm not interested in a 100 pics of what Johnny ate for breakfast, Johnny getting the bus, Johnny eating his ice cream, Johnny at soft play, Johnny having his afternoon nap etc. You get the idea. I told a friend I want to stop the pics and she said there's nothing I can say that won't cause offence. What d'you think? Aibu? How can I handle this better?

Do it.
Message your family member & tell them you are absolutely, positively sick to death of all the pics they send of little Johnny and to knock that shit off!

This will be a win-win for you: no more boring pics of little Johnny and no more messages from his overly-enthusiastic parent, who seems equally annoying.

Do it, since you’re so put off. I dare you.

[Time2ChangeName]

When they send the next picture reply with the usual how lovely and tell them about your motorcycle with some pictures they might learn something from you and the next time you meet face to face hopefully they’ll ask you about it rather than maybe talking about their children.

[SewingMum46]

About 20 years ago one of my DSILs used to send us emails which always contained sexually explicit “funny” pictures - think naked man holding hot dog roll with something other than a hot dog inside the roll, as an example. It was long before smartphones and we lived in a very conservative country where emails were monitored for offensive content - and I often used to open mails with DD as they were a bit of a novelty. So I always had a bit of a sinking feeling when I saw something from her in my inbox.
I actually had to email DSIL and ask her to send me family photos and not the stuff that she thought we’d find funny but could land us in serious trouble.
After I’d emailed though, we didn’t get any more photos. At all. And she’s not married to DBIL any more either.

[stimpyyouidiot]

@Heathyou

I wouldn't ask them to stop, no!
What relative is it? I love receiving pics of my brother's child. They can never send too many. Maybe I'm alone haha.

I'm the same. Love seeing photos of my many many nephews!

[BattenburgDonkey]

I agree it’s not possible not to offend. Also if a relative was really passionate about their bike and wanted to send loads of photos and updates I wouldn’t say anything about that either, can’t say I’d give a crap or make much effort to respond but it’s not exactly doing any harm either.

[JollyWilloughby]

Actually when I say “new” I now mean 6 months old. This is not her first child.

[JollyWilloughby]

OP are you me? Was thinking about posting something very similar although mine is my best friend with her new baby. I get multiple updates and photos daily sent to me on WhatsApp. I have ended up putting the odd heart emoji as I’ve ran out of things to say.

i know I can mute this conversation but I still feel rude not responding as she sends these to be direct.

YANBU.

[CheeseBoard2022]

I'd be quite happy to be spammed with motorcycle updates

YANBU. However if it's over Facebook YABU just hide their updates.

[Heathyou]

I wouldn't ask them to stop, no!
What relative is it? I love receiving pics of my brother's child. They can never send too many. Maybe I'm alone haha.

[1000yellowdaisies]

It depends on how much it annoys you vs how prepared you are to upset them, because she will likely be upset no matter how gently or reasonably you word it.

I dont think you would be unreasonable tho... my DM told me i was sending too many pics of DC1 years ago when she was a baby... i got huffy at the time but looking back i did go OTT.... proud first time mum an all :)

[Needmorelego]

Is it Facebook? I use Facebook as a kind of online diary/scrapbook of my life. So there will sometimes be pictures of my child but there will also be pictures of random stuff I find interesting (like street art), a squirrel I saw in the park, memes about cats and pictures of my Lego.
@FabulousFlowerpots If you are restoring a motorbike why do you think you can't put pictures of the Work In Progress? I'd find them interesting - not because I like bikes (I know nothing much about them tbh) but because I know that it's your life, what you enjoy and that's what you are up to.

[Veol]

Even if they don’t show you straight away, they will actually hate you for it. If that is what you want then tell them. Otherwise just ignore the pics.

[NewMum0305]

Just ignore/mute - they’ll soon get the message

[Smartiepants79]

Depends a bit on how close a family member they are. It doesn’t take long to send a quick smiling emoji or a ‘looks like a good day!’ For the sake of family harmony. They will eventually have better things to do with themselves as the kids get older!!

[Norush4]

@HeadToToesNo

How are they sending them? If its WhatsApp you could mute the conversation but periodically throw in a 'that's nice'.

My thoughts too or don't respond back

[Baystard]

OMG DMIL - is that you?! I only send them because I think you'll be happy to see little Johnny's every move and not feel like you're missing out on him growing up...

[Seriously though, does this person think you're lonely or will enjoy seeing these?]