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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Delaying school entry

31 replies

Jimmychoo2 · 26/10/2021 08:39

My Dc was born at 25 weeks and will be starting reception next September but I'm thinking of deferring. I feel like she will not be ready for the structure of a reception class. She has a speech delay and suspected ASD, we are waiting for a diagnose.
If we deferred for a year she would be in her right year group if not born prematurely.
Please let me know if you have done this and you feel its helped your child's development.

OP posts:
lanthanum · 26/10/2021 12:31

They tell you that with prem babies, when you're looking at developmental milestones you should work from due date not birth date. Mine was an August prem baby, and I would have fought for delayed entry had it been needed (there was no system for it back then), on those grounds. With any additional needs, it absolutely makes sense to delay.

(In our case, DD turned out to be entirely ready for school at just turned 4, and so no fighting was necessary.)

greyinganddecaying · 26/10/2021 12:33

I have a child born at a similar gestation, in August.

We delayed school until a year later (so just turned 5 when started school). No regrets at all.

Definitely join the Facebook group others have mentioned

As another poster has said - you want to DELAY entry, not defer. These have different meanings in this context.

Our local authority were very obstructive. We put together a whole load of evidence - prematurity, current difficulties etc, got the buy-in of headteacher, even then the LA tried to talk us out of it.

But ultimately at the panel it was approved.

You stand a good chance from what you've said.

Good luck

Hankunamatata · 26/10/2021 12:42

Summer born? I would def push. Sil did it in london for her dc who was August birthday

Calamityhuman · 26/10/2021 12:45

I haven’t done this but I definitely would do so if my DC were in this position. Our second was born prematurely and it has a huge impact on their development.

selflove · 26/10/2021 13:01

I did this for my Autumn born DS - his friends all started Reception this September, and I deferred him so that he did an extra year in the (school) nursery. No special needs etc, I just thought there's no such thing as being "too" ready and I'd prefer him to be the oldest next year than the youngest this year.

Honestly, I'm not sure it feels like the right decision right now, but it's early days. And I think the main issue is that he started in the (school) nursery last year in his "correct" cohort, made loads of friends, then they've all moved up to reception and he's doing another year of nursery with a load of new kids who all seem like babies, he seems so much older than them all and doesn't seem to have much in common. He hasn't made any friends yet, whereas he made solid friendships instantly last year. Educationally/academically it's all great, but socially I can't decide if it's been the wrong decision for him yet.

Jimmychoo2 · 26/10/2021 14:27

I think we will be delaying,as she is nonverbal and is having speech therapy at the moment. Reception class would be too structured for her.she wil be 4 in July,so would start school in September. If we delayed then she would go to reception class when she turned 5. She would still be in her correct year group if born on due date.

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