To think she needs taking aside

[Iamthequeen82]

Work in a school kitchen.
Have this one lady who for some reason cannot get her appointments out of work time. We work 9-2. A few years ago she needed a cosmetic dental treatment, during work time, line manager said no, so she went about their head spoke to the head teacher who let her have the time off (paid). Another colleague wanted to go to a funeral but was told no, she just accepted it and that was that. This one lady always has to have blood tests, X-rays etc etc (nothing wrong with her). I’m feb she had a minor op and was off for 4 weeks paid. I’m April her dad died so 2 weeks off (totally 100% behind that and support the time off) paid. Last week she told line manager on Friday she might be half an hour late as she had a smear booked in for 8.30 Monday morning. Line manager just said ok, as felt it was too late to get her to change it. Monday morning comes round, gets to 10am still no sign, line manager goes into office and lady had txt them to say “app changed to 10.30 will be in later” in she waltzes at 11.15 no apology or naff all. And nothing has been said to her or anything. I feel it’s unfair on us that abide by the company rules. One colleagues daughter is going to hospital app alone, another has arranged her mammogram for out of works time. I’m just really fed up with the injustice of it.

[stressed58382]

I have had something similar with one of my colleagues. A nice lady tbh who I got on well with. She regular had appointments for her allergies/dentist always within works time. Often early afternoon on a Friday so she could go home early and not return.

She once overheard me trying to make an appointment on the phone and I was trying to fit it around work. When I got off the phone she said don't be doing that in your own time just finish early .

I recently made an appointment for my son and we had a choice of dates. So it's not always the case you have no choice. I think eventually you just know whether they are taking advantage or not.

It was annoying but it's definitely management who need to deal with it. In the end I did it myself a couple of times. I found it much less annoying them

[iwouldlikearefundonmybody]

It's no ones business.
I know myself how ridiculous the nhs is about appointments. She may well have tried a number of times, to get them out of work, but there weren't any available.it'S hard!!!

With Hospital appointments, you don't really get much of a choice either. And if you do change it, there's a chance you have to wait a couple more months. So you just stick with what you're given.

Please don't judge. She is probably really struggling and feels guilty as it is. So don't make her feel worse for it.

[Ohsugarhoneyicetea]

The facts is you don't know what this persons health issues are. And she is completely within her rights to want to keep it private. Management presumably do know and are handling it the way in which the law requires them to do so. Just like the law is clear that bereavement absence is for immediate family.

You do have the right however to raise the issue with them if it is impacting your work load significantly. If that is the case then say so... tell your manager that colleagues frequent absences are causing additional stress and pressure on the team and can they look at getting extra resources to cover this.

[vivainsomnia]

Most NHS appointments can be scheduled to fit around working arrangements. You have to ask though. I've worked with many staff who see appointments as a good opportunity to miss work time and would never even want to ask for another time.

There's nothing you can do about them, bit it's rare that managers wouldn't pick up on it after some time but it can take a whilst for it to be such that they can bring it up and do something about it.

[comebacksunshines]

As for the funeral….yes it was me…
It was my best friends father, who I had visited weekly in hospital and then daily once he came home
I'm sorry to hear this, but you could have challenged your employer on this, they often stipulate close family only in work contracts, but the closeness of relationships are often not that straightforward.
If you want to be noble and accept your managers opinion, as you put it. Then you can't be resentful of other people that don't feel the same way as you.
As much as I can appreciate your dutiful outlook, it is just a job. Other people will see it that way and prioritise their health, family and other relationships above it, which as long as your pulling your weight, is how it should be imo.

[Thirstquenching]

Funny we have someone like this.........the manager! Extremely damaging for moral

[tommyhoundmum]

Leshan Agree.

[TheTuesdayPringle]

wrt the funeral, a lot of workplaces allow bereavement leave only for immediate family which might be why she had time off when her father died and you were denied leave for your funeral request. Not suggesting this is fair or OK, but may help you make sense of it.

[daisyjgrey]

@Iamthequeen82

Also to add, this lady has a little book, in it she writes down when people have been off sick, etc etc…..I couldn’t care less but Monday really got to me how she txt and then waltzed in over 2hrs late and was all smug

Isn't that you? You're the one keeping track of everyone 😂😂

[ChubbyLittleManInACampervan]

Yeah, yanbu but you can’t do anything

All companies have someone like this

As soon as you say anything you’ll:

• look like the bad guy (esp if it turns out she has an illness)
  
• be scrutinised for your own absences
  
• be seen by boss/colleagues as petty/resentful
  

The real issue is the spinelessness of your boss

[thecognoscenti]

I'm with you. You're left to pick up the slack because she's not there to do the job she's paid for. Some people are just workshy.

[Flippittyflopperty]

Unfortunately there’s people who are not team players in every workforce. I can see why your upset as the job still has to get done when one person isn’t there and it adds to the pressure.
I’m with you, but it is management that’s really at fault by allowing it.

[alexdgr8]

OP, i'm sorry that you had that experience re the funeral.
but it might be worth to study the terms and conditions; probably non-family members funerals are not allowed.
i might have gone off sick, having read this, knowing i would indeed be feeling pretty low, and not queered my pitch by asking ie telling management about the funeral.
but that's just me. and with the benefit of hindsight re your situation.
also suggest you join a union, maybe gmb, or unison, who will help you all to stand up for reasonable conditions, and unity is strength.

[Leshan]

Tough crowd in here.
Must be the full moon.

YANBU OP, but you can't win.

[FierceBarrie]

@HowdyPartners

Blimey OP, get your nose out of her business! Be supportive and kind instead. That many appointments would be so embarrassing for her and acting nonchalant is probably a defence mechanism against you and her other cruel colleagues.

😅 You're funny.

[Lesssaideasymended]

Maybe she she has no choice. Some bloods have to be taken first thing in the morning. And I know in my GPs only 1 nurse does smears and she only works mornings

[Bargebill19]

Totally with you Op. This type of colleague are also the first to complain about everything.
If your manager refuses to do anything, you don’t have much choice as to what you can do. It’s either leave, or simply ignore her.
Your colleague will never change nor realise that she is massively taking the piss out of everyone, to them it’s normal behaviour.

[Weetabecks]

I think it is very unreasonable indeed that a different colleague wasn't allowed to go to a funeral! ☹ TBF 2 weeks off isn't that long after her dad died.

[PineappleMojito]

I have a chronic health condition that I don’t readily disclose to colleagues. My managers at work know, and they are also aware that I do my best to arrange appointments away from work but the NHS isn’t always flexible for hospital stuff. She may have a GP surgery that is oversubscribed and doesn’t have much choice of appointments. You don’t know that there is “nothing wrong with her” - you wouldn’t know there’s anything up with me either. Not every disability/illness is visible and all. And it’s not up to a work colleague to decide what appointments or tests other people do and don’t need.

That said, cosmetic dentistry in work time seems a bit unreasonable unless it was something that would affect her at work or was affecting her mental health (missing front tooth kind of thing)

[HowdyPartners]

Blimey OP, get your nose out of her business! Be supportive and kind instead. That many appointments would be so embarrassing for her and acting nonchalant is probably a defence mechanism against you and her other cruel colleagues.

[Mandalay246]

If she works 9 - 2 she has plenty of time to make appointments out of working hours. I fully agree with paid time off for medical appointments, funerals etc. for full time jobs, but this woman is taking advantage.

[pabloescobarselasticband]

I get what your saying OP. I used to have to manage someone like this, always a different reason excuse As to why she needed time off or came into work Late! It really began to get on my nerves after a few months and I pulled her up on it, she stormed off, went above my head and requested a transfer. She then went on to behave exactly the same in the next department she was transferred to!

[daisybrown37]

I have worked in HR for 20 years and in education.for the last year. It is the least flexible environment there is - no time off during term time for anything but emergency or hospital appointments. Smears would be expected to be done during the holidays. No chance of seeing your kids school play or taking them to an appointment. I can see how resentment grows when others are treated differently.

I left after 8 months, I needed to be able to occasionally put me ke my child first (I was all year round but still had the same rules to follow, despite working for school holidays)

While it is not the OP business, it will feel unfair when others receive no flexibility.

[MouseholeCat]

Bringing up the operation and bereavement leave isn't relevant- those are perfectly valid reasons for time off.

GP appointments in work hours for routine/preventative stuff is annoying as yes, she could probably schedule those after work.

It can be harder to do that with hospital appointments.

If you really want to do something, perhaps just clarify the leave policy with your manager saying that you noticed some colleagues routinely have appointments during work hours and you're not sure what's okay and what isn't.

[Womendohavevaginasnick]

4 years ago she had lots of health investigations and found 'nothing wrong'
She has regular bloods tests.
She needs x-rays and other scans.
She's had an operation which led to a month out of work.

Do you seriously think there's nothing wrong with her health?

If I had nosy colleague's I'd be saying I'm fine too. But then I always say I'm fine. There's nothing wrong. Even if my leg fell off I'd say I'm fine.
Some people don't want to be the one the office is gossiping about.
Nobody wants the patronising head tilt and constant "are you okays" they'd rather just get on.
There are any number of things that could be going on here, physical, mental, emotional. Literally could be anything.
Imagine if you went to your manager complaining about her and later you found out she had cancer? Or was in a mental health crisis? Or had a sick or disabled child at home? You'd feel like absolute shite and rightly so.