To expect DS2s teaching assistant NOT to broadcast his bad behaviour across the playground at home time!!

[sarah573]

When I collected DS2 (7, yr 2) from school today I was summoned into the class by his TA.

As I went into the class room she then invited all the other Mums in to help their DCs get changed after PE (not usual practice at our school for 6 and 7 year olds most of whom were dressed already), and then in the same breath said loudly to me 'DS is over there having a tantrum'.

DS was sat on a cushion in the book corner crying still wearing his PE kit. I went and calmed DS down, during which I was aware that one of the girls was explaining to her Mum and a few others what DS had done, in that oh so dramtic way only kids can, and the 25 other parents were goldfishing me.

The class teacher was not in the room, and I couldn't find the TA, and no one was offering an explanation of why DS was in a state. I eventually found out from the TA that DS had closed the the door not realising one of the other kids was still outside. When asked to apologise he had done so in a blatanly Im not sorry at all tone of voice (you know the one!), and she had told him off. He had shouted he had said he was sorry, and stomped of crying to the cushions. They had felt fit not to deal with him as it was so close to the end of the day!!!

I felt completely humiliated by all of this. I have 3 DCs and have been summoned to the classroom after school before, but its always been done tactfully and never in front of all the other mums.

[Ineedacleaner]

I would be well miffed at this. If nothing else your poor ds to have everyone gawping at him like that.
She handled it very badly to summon you then to invite all the other parents in especially when it is not common practice.
I would have a word with the class teacher if it were me.

It reminds me of an incident at nursery one of the mums has been collecting another wee boy and dropping him off at his mums work and the teacher told this mum all his misdemenours of the day which I thought was pretty shocking because yes she was collecting him but his own mother drops him off every day so felt she shoudl have waited and spoke to her not another mother who happened to be collecting him.

[MrsPuddleduck]

Most of the Mums who pick up their children from the school nursery at 1.00pm know that my child is the "bad apple" as I am quite often told of his "inappropriate" behaviour in front of them.

I find it embarassing for myself and him. I have visions of other parents going home and quizzing their children on how bad he is and him not getting invited to parties etc.

You are definitely not being unreasonable.

[scoggins]

This is incredibly unprofessional of the TA by the sounds of it. I think you need to go to the line manager of the TA (usually the SENCO, Assistant head or deputy) and explain your concerns and that you felt humiliated and that the member of staff had acted unprofessionally in your view. The line manager should then speak to the TA to remind him/her of the way situations are dealt with in terms of children's behaviour.
If the TA felt unable to deal with the situation at the time she should have gone to find the class teacher to deal with your DS.
Ask also to see the school's behaviour policy to see where it is written that the practice of the school is to call in the parent for reinforcement should a member of staff feel unable to handle a child's challenging behaviour at the end of the day! - Not in my school - not in any school I imagine!
However, please state your concerns to line manager tactfully and base it purely upon what you observed and how you felt.

[sarah573]

I will have a quiet word with the TA tomorrow. I don't think there was any malice on her part, and I don't want to get her into trouble. I do want her to know how bad she made me and DS feel through. Then again maybe I'll stand and shout my grievance across the playground at home time - joke!!!!