WIBU to politely ask her to step back?

[Supermarketweep]

At the supermarket today. As usual, most people not really social distancing, but I try to just focus on what I'm doing, and ignore it.

Get to the till, the last bits of my trolley load of shopping coming through and I'm packing them in bags. I become aware of the woman behind me in the queue, who is now standing quite near the card machine at the till, and therefore well within 2m of me.

I assume she's just a bit over eager, and when she realises I haven't paid will step back. She doesn't, she moves forward and I now can't get to the card machine without reaching past her or standing right up next to her.

So I politely say can you step back please, I need to pay.

She goes off like a rocket. I couldn't understand every word because she wasn't English and her voice was muffled by her mask, but could understand most of what she said and her tone was pretty clear. She was shouting about why should she have to move back - I said social distancing rules are pretty clear - and then kept ranting.

The member of staff at the till calmly said to her that I was entitled to ask her to step back if I felt she was too close. She carried on shouting she wasn't too close, I was abusing her etc.

I had then paid; a security guard came over and she carried on ranting to him about how I was in the wrong.

In the car park as I was returning my trolley she came out of the shop and continued shouting at me, 'I don't want to stand near you, you smell, you stink' over and over at the top of her voice!

I didn't respond, because she seemed like the sort of person who would accuse me of being verbally abusive. But all because I asked her to step back - which in all honesty I would have done even pre Covid because I don't want someone 6 inches from me when I'm putting in my pin number!

[KarmaStar]

Perisoire..was it you?

[Marvelwife123]

I’m 100% with you and asked various people to move back. I have found various people awful at socially distancing in the supermarket.

A little old lady reached down when I was getting something and was about 5cm away from my face and I’m not proud but I wasn’t particularly polite in my response. I wasn’t rude but I think she will think twice that not everyone is vaccinated yet.

I feel worse for the supermarket staff, I always ask if I can reach something / not get too close and a few times they have commented that other people just don’t seem to care and reach over them / get too close.

This lady sounds like a piece of work, you did nothing wrong. Try not to over think it, she’s crazy!

[Uronmute]

Who are the 5% who thought her behaviour was in anyway reasonable? And it’s not racist to be unable to understand someone with a strong accent. Her behaviour was disgraceful whatever her nationality.

[VettiyaIruken]

Re what will people do when there's no requirement to socially distance...
I imagine people will not socially distance because it will no longer be a requirement but are likely, as pre covid, to ask others to step back if they're too close and you're struggling to use the card machine. At a guess. 🤷‍♀️

[FunnyWonder]

YANBU

Maybe the woman believes she can go where she likes just because she's wearing a mask. I noticed this when mask wearing in shops became compulsory - suddenly the social distancing rule went out the window for some people. But her reaction to a polite request was appalling. And I agree that, even pre pandemic, standing right up in someone's face as they pay for their shopping is plain rude.

As for the poster eye rolling at a mention of the fact this person was difficult to understand because of her accent - what's wrong with that? It makes the situation more stressful if you can't understand what insults are being slung at you.

[BashfulClam]

I’m not sure why people have this need to be as close as possible to the person queuing in front. Mil is terrible for being in the way of people using the card machine etc. I will not apologise though for protecting myself by asking people to step back. I remember pre-covid I was standing in the queue in Boots and the woman behind was so close I could feel her breathing on me and you couldn’t slide a piece of paper between us. Every time I inched forward she seemed to be magnetically stuck to my arse. My husband has been further away whilst having sex ffs! I just don’t get it!

[melj1213]

What are people going to do when all these bloody restrictions are lifted and people are around them?

Theres a difference between expecting to be 2m from someone at all times and asking someone to step back so you have room to pay for your shopping. Even preCovid this situation occured as the next customer would be standing directly in front of the card reader, oblivious to the fact that they were blocking the previous customer from paying, and then when asked to move would shuffle back a few millimetres so they were literally over the paying customers shoulder

OP YANBU, I work in a supermarket and I regularly have to ask people to step back, or ask their kids to step back, so people can get to the card reader. In theory what is supposed to happen is that there should be a customer at the bottom of the checkout packing and one at the top of the conveyor belt unpacking/waiting. What ends up happening is that the packer goes to the end of the checkout so the unpacking customer unpacks and proceeds down the checkout so that the next customer can start unpacking too while leaving a gap ... which is fine until the packing customer needs to pay and everyone has to shift back when they havent left themselves anywhere bear enough room.

[Hollyhocksarenotmessy]

@AnaofBroceliande

What are people going to do when all these bloody restrictions are lifted and people are around them?

Irrelevant. The social distancing guidelines are still in place now.

[melj1213]

@perisoire

I couldn't understand every word because she wasn't English

🙄

Why the eye roll @perisoire?

I work in retail and with everyone wearing masks it is hard enough to understand exactly what people are saying, add in an accent (especially if it is a heavy one) and I will struggle to understand every word.

I work in on the cigarette kiosk so people either want cigs, tobacco, vape stuff or lottery. There is a group of Romanian guys who work as contractors for a large gas company. They come in every day but their English isn't the greatest and is heavily accented. Until I memorized their orders we used to have protracted exchanges as I tried to figure out that, what sounded to me like, "mbra go" meant "Marlborough Gold" and "big rotma blu" meant "Rothmans Blue Superkings" etc

[Supermarketweep]

Tbh I would have asked her to step back pre Covid too, because I needed to input my pin number and you certainly shouldn't be doing that with someone right next to you (just like you shouldn't have someone hovering over your shoulder at a cashpoint etc). She shouldn't have been so close to me anyway, Covid or not.

[AnaofBroceliande]

What are people going to do when all these bloody restrictions are lifted and people are around them?

[maturecheddar]

I get that a lot too. I just now leave the trolley behind me so no one gets close and it blocks them away. It's inconvenient as I have to move the shopping bags back but it helps to block people out.

[Supermarketweep]

I didnt think about recording it on my phone - will bear that in mind if anything like this happens again!

I'm not a particularly confrontational person, I seem to end up with people within 1m of me let alone 2 a lot of the time and I don't say anything, but this woman was basically inches away, and blocking me from paying.

I didnt think there was anything wrong with asking her but her reaction was so OTT and disproportionate I couldn't help wondering if I'd missed something somehow. She might've thought I was being unnecessary, and that's fine, she's entitled to think that; if she'd said something like that to me I would have been fine with it (each to their own) but to start shouting and then be yelling top volume across a car park 'you smell, you stink' is not the reaction you expect.

[caringcarer]

She sounds unhinged to me. You know she was in the wrong.

[DIshedUp]

In future I guess you could be more polite 'excuse me I just need to get to the card machine'. When people are made to feel embarrassed for their behaviour they will act in all sorts of ways and its not worth the fight in tesco

[DIshedUp]

If she's standing by the card machine she's bypassed the whole checkout anyway, which in normal times would be considered bizarre

Honestly she just sounds a bit insane. So I really wouldn't think anymore of it, she was probably embarrassed

[underneaththeash]

If it happens again you pick up your phone and just record someone. It always makes them behave.
Lots of people are behaving like arseholes at the moment OP/.

[AlreadyDoneHadHerses]

OP, of course YANBU

[AlreadyDoneHadHerses]

@perisoire

I couldn't understand every word because she wasn't English

🙄

Nothing unreasonable about this comment. It is not always easy to understand foreign, or indeed regional accents, when you are not used to them.
English is my second language fwiw.

[Pinkchocolate]

I’ve asked someone to step back in a supermarket before and her response was “I’m so sorry dear, I keep forgetting” before politely moving back. That is a normal response, the one you had was ridiculous.

[Cheeseandlobster]

@perisoire

I couldn't understand every word because she wasn't English

🙄

There is always one.

If she was Greek or French or Polish or Spanish etc, then yes, the op may not have been able to understand every word.

Op. She sounds like she was spoiling for a fight. You showed remarkable restraint not responding and you were not in the wrong

[nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut]

I think you did rather well not to run her over personally.

[Supermarketweep]

I thought that swearing might inflame the situation further or give her the chance to claim I was being abusive to her, especially as she seemed to be being careful not to swear at me although she was shouting and insulting of course.

[Midlifephoenix]

Who pressed 'YABU'?
She obviously has a problem, and as you say even pre covid people shouldn't be right up close when you are checking out and using a card machine. In fact I have told people to step back pre covid - it usually is they aren't aware and I just have to look at them and say 'could you..' and they immediately apologise.
The security guard could have been a bit more proactive and allowed you to exit without allowing the woman to follow you.

[londonscalling]

A friend was in a similar situation and the woman behind her got quite abusive and shouted "what, you think I've got coronavirus"?

My friend very calmly turned round and enjoyed saying "no but I think I may have"!

That shut the woman up and she quickly moved away!!!