To say that you can take your Instagram homeschooling smugness and

[sparklefarts]

Fuck off??

Well am I unreasonable?!?

People I know in real life who I always thought of as lovely seem to have developed a need to post every single bit of homeschooling on insta with smug happy children, all smiles and love and look at our little wonderful bubble.

I know behind the scenes it's probably not quite as all smiles as they suggest.

Most of it seems to be 'look at me I thought of this fantastic activity for my delightful smiling easy children'
It's bullshit isn't it?

But what compels people to do it??


I'm not even that bitter. We're doing OK with homeschooling. We post the work to the teachers teams page and that's that. I know lots of people are struggling so would never dream of posting how brilliant it is everywhere (it isn't brilliant)


Maybe I just needed that rant.

[BackBoiler]

My youngest (7) has the following, set everyday
Morning activity (10 mins of kids yoga on YouTube etc)
Phonics
Literacy
Handwriting
Maths
Topic (technology/history/geography/etc)
PSHE
Art (drawing with Rob on Youtube)
Some form of PE
Watching her teacher read Harry Potter.

There is no time to set up anything else and to be honest from 9-3 is taken up with all this and helping my 8 and 12 year old do theirs too, never mind posting on social media.

[LolaSmiles]

Whatisthisfuckery
Well said.

Squashpocket
I'm a teacher and just reading that stressed me out.
If it reassures you then I'd not be looking into parent posts like that. All I'd be interested in seeing is if the students have done the work and then making sure I've checked in with them regularly on a pastoral level. If I were in your situation then I'd be saying 'does this show the work?' If so then that's enough.

[Whatisthisfuckery]

I think on the whole people only post things that are different, so I would post a really pretty place I’d been, or a massive spider in my bath, or if I’d managed to bake a cake that didn’t look more like a yorkshire pudding. Posting pics of me vacuuming is really not interesting to me, so I wouldn’t imagine other people would be interested either. This is why it’s so easy to see through all the insecure people who use SM to convince themselves and us that their life is perfect. Nah it ain’t mate, because if it was perfect then you would consider the sight of your immaculately behaved DC working diligently at the kitchen table no more exceptional than you vacuuming, and while you might post one picture of the kids because home learning is a novelty, you wouldn’t feel the need to do it every day, ten times a day.

[Squashpocket]

We have to 'post our child's learning' on Tapestry Journal so the teacher can see that we've done the required work and even doing that makes me anxious. I have to read and re-read what I've written and spend half an hour second guessing whether I've put enough/not enough photos and videos up or whether the teacher will think I'm either showing off or negligent. I'm aware that this is more indicative of my mental state than anything, but it's fucking exhausting.

[LolaSmiles]

If it's people sharing nice things they've done to break up days with the children at home, or activities that have kept the children busy whilst they get on with some work then I really enjoy seeing those posts.

If it nauseating drivel about how their child's teacher is simply blown away by their child's brilliance, complete with photos of their child the parent's work on assorted art projects and school work, or worse posts 'to' the child about how proud mummy and daddy are that child has got full marks on the timestables online quiz, then YANBU at all. It's boastful and awful.

[AiryFairyMum]

By the sound of it I'm in the minority but I genuinely enjoy it. It could be because mine's little, so I'm not teaching anything advanced, but I get to spend my days squidging round with paint and reading cute stories. I used to have a really stressful career, which I gave up to go into a part time one after maternity leave. My homeschooling days are much more fun and less stress than my old job. I now think I should have been a teacher or a TA as I enjoy it so much, but I know teaching 30 would be much harder!

[emilyfrost]

InTheDrunkTank What makes you think I don’t like these threads? I like SM; I like having a discussion about different topics, hence my replies here.

It’s normal and healthy to disagree with people, you know. Debate is good.

I’m not saying people should stop doing anything (unlike the OP), I’m merely suggesting there are better ways to deal with your bitterness and jealousy over other peoples social media rather than bitching about them.

[InTheDrunkTank]

@emilyfrost I'll spell it out for you. You can't dictate how people react to SM posts. People can choose to merely unfollow or they can choose to openly talk about their dislike for your posts. It's not up to you which option they choose. If you don't like threads complaining about SM posts why don't you just 'hide' and move on?

[KihoBebiluPute]

I think this thread and today's Guardian cartoon were made for each other.

[emilyfrost]

I can just imagine what your SM is like!

InTheDrunkTank You can imagine whatever you like. I’m not homeschooling, so this particular topic is entirely irrelevant to me.

I’m simply pointing out that people can use their own SM however they want to, whether that be posting photos of homeschooling activities, arts and crafts, pets, food, cars, fashion etc. and if others don’t like it they either unfollow or take themselves off it.

Have you really not picked up on the irony there? If you can't handle people not liking your SM posts (either facebook or MN) then you obviously can't handle SM and need to come off. If you put posts out there people are free to react to them as they like and people probably are bitching about you. If that upsets you come off SM - you're responsible for your emotions not anyone else!

There’s no irony. I don’t care whether people like my posts or not. I post what I want to on my SM and people are free to like or ignore; it’s totally up to them. If they don’t like my posts they are free to unfollow me.

[Hm2020]

See if not on insta but all I get through my Watsapp is videos (obviously staged) of drunk home schooling mums having break downs thought that’s what everyone got l

[InTheDrunkTank]

Nobody else is responsible for your emotions, only you. If you can’t handle SM, that’s something for you to deal with, not try and change how others use it or bitch about them.

Have you really not picked up on the irony there? If you can't handle people not liking your SM posts (either facebook or MN) then you obviously can't handle SM and need to come off. If you put posts out there people are free to react to them as they like and people probably are bitching about you. If that upsets you come off SM - you're responsible for your emotions not anyone else!

[InTheDrunkTank]

@emilyfrost I can just imagine what your SM is like! Yes you are allowed to be a total show off on SM if you want to. I don't think any of the posters here are suggesting you're not permitted to behave like that. They're saying that your friends are probably liking your posts while cringing at you. I think often people that rely on SM image crafting believe their projecting an image of a wonderful, happy life but atually give the impression of being desperately insecure.

[emilyfrost]

emilyfrost lol I'm not the poster you're replying to but YES you're meant to post on SM things that will make people happy to see. Not things that just make you think you look good. If you're using SM to boost your self esteem other people will be cringing at you behind your back!

HandfulofDust Incorrect. You’re not meant to do anything. You can use social media however you like, and if you don’t like how others use it, either unfollow them or take yourself off it rather than becoming bitter and jealous.

Nobody else is responsible for your emotions, only you. If you can’t handle SM, that’s something for you to deal with, not try and change how others use it or bitch about them.

[ComDummings]

They’re probably hanging on by a thread under the surface.

[HandfulofDust]

@emilyfrost lol I'm not the poster you're replying to but YES you're meant to post on SM things that will make people happy to see. Not things that just make you think you look good. If you're using SM to boost your self esteem other people will be cringing at you behind your back!

People like to see how you're getting on, pictures of smiley kids on a day out are nice, I like to see how my friends' kids are growing up or what they're up to (within reason). But it's really obvious when people are just using SM as a platform to show off and that try to project an image of themselves. That's cringy.

[TwoZeroTwoZero]

These parents enjoying 'playing' teacher. Is this because they don't have anything to do usually - gosh poor then v's ok so now they rubbing it into those of us working that this is all they have to do.

Teachers are working from home assigning work ect why are parents getting so involved? Leave kids to get work done let teacher correct it. Mine work better when I not checking and nagging.

I am actually a teacher but, as a supply teacher, I'm currently not working due to the schools being closed. I don't particularly enjoy teaching my own children but, unlike yours, they do need a lot of support with their work and if left to their own devices they would struggle with a lot of it and then start to get really upset with themselves and refuse to continue. They would be fine at school because the tasks are differentiated and the teacher is there to ask for and provide feedback in real time; it's obviously not the same when it's all online. Me being at home and able to give that support and feedback is helping them no end. It is also giving us the opportunity to spend some quality time time together.

I am struggling with the situation as a whole though. As I said above, I'm not working and am therefore not getting paid. Dh was made redundant after the 1st lockdown. We were already living hand to mouth so now we're relying on the support of our parents and on benefits in order to pay our rent and other bills. I feel a pang of jealousy when I look on facebook and read about people who can afford to redecorate their houses, do up their gardens, plan their next holidays etc etc but I know that they're not simply showing off and it doesn't stop me appreciating the things that I do have. I enjoy reading about or seeing people who are managing to enjoy and appreciate the good times, especially at the moment when it's so easy to wallow in all the crap being thrown at us.

I post about my children having done certain tasks and some of the nicer things we have been doing. It's not fake or false or posted with the idea of showing off; as others have said above, it's more to demonstrate that things aren't completely shit. I do post about the rubbish parts of my life because I am a genuine, normal person with a normal up-and-down life but because I don't want to depress people I tend to keep that to a minimum.

[Iknowwhatudidlastsummer]

seeing constant pics of amazing kids work and the teachers saying how well they are doing is making them feel pretty useless.

then get out of social media?

You can't be that busy if you have time to constantly look at other people's private photos.

[emilyfrost]

People aren't posting those photos because they think they'll bring joy to anyone

HamAndButterSandwich So we’re not allowed to post on social media now unless we have the intent of bringing joy to people?

[IMissFrance]

I often see those sort of posts as the complete opposite to the truth of the situation. Not that it doesn't still poss me off or upset me.

I've made a lot of changes with Facebook.

I've turned it so my feed is only businesses I need/want to see. And a few close friends abs family members who I care about their lives.

Equally when I do post (so far once this year) I set the audience so it's only those few people who can see it. So the people I have set not to see their perfect lives on my newsfeed think that I never post. It's a win/win as then I can't get paranoid they might think I'm ignoring them. Just will appear that I don't use it.

It's been such a positive change for my mental health. I got very depressed last year and it would only take me posting a photo and then someone not to 'like' it but to 'like' something someone else had posted for me to spiral into a real "everyone hates me" cycle. (Before people do the Mumsnet jump on and say that's a stupid way to think I am not neurotypical)

So not posting and not seeing posts is a very positive change for me.

But I still need to be on FB for business and school updates. And I do enjoy seeing my nieces and nephews etc. So I didn't want to quit the whole thing and totally miss out

[HamAndButterSandwich]

I agree with you OP and I'm lucky in that Homeschooling is actually going pretty well for us. (This is largely due to the fact their school is amazing rather than any skill on my part).

People aren't posting those photos because they think they'll bring joy to anyone. It's showing off pure and simple. They're image crafting. Children's artwork is adorable to the children's parents, maybe grandparents at a push. No one else cares.

[emilyfrost]

seeing constant pics of amazing kids work and the teachers saying how well they are doing is making them feel pretty useless.

lollipoprainbow Quite frankly, that’s nobody else’s problem but the person who is feeling that way.

If you’re feeling pretty useless looking at social media then you need to stop using it, not want other people to stop using it in the way they like.

[lollipoprainbow]

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer oh no it's you again !! I'm sure no one resents having kids but for some parents it's incredibly hard trying to homeschool while working from home at the same time and seeing constant pics of amazing kids work and the teachers saying how well they are doing is making them feel pretty useless.

[Iknowwhatudidlastsummer]

@Della1

I love homeschooling. Said no person ever. Ignore- it’s all lies!

If people wanted to homeschool ,they wouldn't have waited for the pandemic.

It doesn't mean some parents are not trying to make the most of a bad situation. Do people really feel more important by exaggerating things all the time, or do they need to reassure themselves by finding fault in others?

Shocking concept, but no, it's not that bad for everybody.

I feel sorry for these kids who are being resented and blamed all day day by the parents who decided to have them. You might not have predicted the lockdown, but seriously, not being able to put up with your own kids for a few months? That's what I find cringing.

[KaptainKaveman]

People become obsessed with their social media profiles don't they? I think it was Chrissy Tiegan who actually posted pictures direct from the hospital as she was having a miscarriage. Sort of like a running commentary in pictures and text.