To have emailed our HR person about our ‘Christmas get together’

[Circumlocutious]

Got an email from our HR person saying that we’ll be having a celebratory in-person gathering at the office (SE). Secret Santa is planned and ‘going out for a few drinks afterwards’. Caveated with ‘only if you’re comfortable of course’.

I responded directly to the email by politely her asking how they’re squaring this plan with Tier 2 guidelines (‘they’ because this idea was cooked up by our CEO). In the meantime, other colleagues have chipped in saying ‘we’re in’. Feel like I’m on a different planet.

DH thinks I should just stay out of it and that it’s nothing to do with me. Tempted to agree but the email has been sent.

[Strangedayindeed]

By*

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe]

OP, if you're so sure that you were in the right, why are you asking other people and being so aggressive with the ones who've told you that you were wrong, that you should have just declined and left it there? I think that too.

You don't sound very sure of yourself and your snippy comments are possibly hiding the fact that you know you've actually been a bit of a snide arse and that people in the office aren't impressed.

You could pull this one back but you'd rather post on a chatboard about how right you are.

[AlternativePerspective]

I would have emailed.

Private gathering I would probably have stayed out of it and judged from the sidelines, but a lot of people feel under pressure to attend these works events, and think it looks badly on them if they don’t.

My mum never used to attend the Christmas do or take part in secret Santa, and once she openly said she wouldn’t, a lot of other people who said they didn’t want to be seen as “that person” joined and didn’t take part either. By questioning it you’re essentially saying that people shouldn’t feel pressured into going....

[Circumlocutious]

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

OP, if you're so sure that you were in the right, why are you asking other people and being so aggressive with the ones who've told you that you were wrong, that you should have just declined and left it there? I think that too.

You don't sound very sure of yourself and your snippy comments are possibly hiding the fact that you know you've actually been a bit of a snide arse and that people in the office aren't impressed.

You could pull this one back but you'd rather post on a chatboard about how right you are.

Well, there are no ‘people in the office’ who aren’t impressed. I didn’t chide everyone for daring to break the rules. Now that really would be antisocial. There are only two people who read that email: HR person and CEO.

I came to find out if it was even permitted (some uncertainty about ‘business gatherings’ which I didn’t know about). And yes to hear some opinions on whether it was warranted. But I do have a problem when sexist assumptions about office likeability and being a ‘good little girl’ are trotted.

[Di11y]

If I was a manager I would be robustly questioning this to ensure I'm not putting my team at risk and also risking having staff off sick unnecessarily. If not, I'd make a pointed comment and decline.

[Strangedayindeed]

@Circumlocutious

You were the one who said about being a good little girl in terms of the office, I said you wanted validation from mumsnet like a good little girl. You are misunderstanding the point (possibly) on purpose so you can argue how right you are.

I never said that you should be a good girl and go to the party, I also never said you should go to spare the CEO’s feelings. You have dreamed that all up on your own.

[sergeilavrov]

I can’t believe people are being so rude to you on this thread. If the company screw up and get fined, that impacts the company that pays your wages. If they screw up and people get sick, they may go on to infect you or others in the community. We are a year in and people still haven’t grasped that public health is of public concern.

You emailed for a clarification, that’s not rude or divisive, and you got one. You left it there. Seems very reasonable, and clearly made them think a little bit. Thank you for acting in a way that protects the rest of your local community, many families would be very grateful for you.

[IrenetheQuaint]

I'm baffled by some of these comments. I'm not remotely bothered by people breaking Covid laws in private environments (as long as not having a massive party or something) but when a company proposes an illegal course of action then I do think people should speak up.

[JingsMahBucket]

[quote Abouttimemum]@JingsMahBucket I know him well and he is a selfish arsehole, correct.[/quote]
@Abouttimemum poor woman. I’d advise her to get her (financial) affairs in order.

[loulouljh]

I would stay out of it..you don't want to go. End of.

[nosswith]

You are in a company where someone has had the virus.

Your response has been mild. I would be tempted to contact any pub they might visit so that they are refused entry. Or if there is a parent company the head.

I would support disciplinary action against the CEO on health and safety grounds.

[jakeyboy1]

I think it is hard for companies at the moment re Christmas. Our company has said we aren't having any Xmas do/gift/money of any form and people have kicked off big time - even senior directors! To be honest I'm not bothered but others are.

[Chasingsquirrels]

@TonkinLenkicks

You think that's bad. The powers that be have decided that in absence of being able to have a Christmas party were going to have a zoom mince pie baking competition. There's 60 of us. And we all have to supply our own ingredients. It's not optional. God give me strength.

So what will they do when you just don't log onto Zoom for it?

[sneakysnoopysniper]

At the last minute you had a notification through track and trace that you have to self isolate. Just before Christmas too! What bad luck.

[Jaxhog]

I'm with you Op. I'm frankly astonished by all the snide remarks.

It seems at best a pretty stupid idea to 'invite' everyone into the office during a pandemic. Whether it is 'allowed' by the rules or not. The whole point of the current restrictions is to limit the number of interactions between people to the essential. A Christmas party might well be a nice thing to have, but it is NOT essential. If anyone truly thinks a Christmas Party is essential to their 'mental health', then let them have one on their own, not pressure others into joining them.

My guess is that your MD and/or the HR person who sent out the email have not yet suffered a loss nor have anyone they recognize as being at risk. They needed someone to call them out.

[Cottagepieandpeas]

if you aren't happy then don't go, its up to everyone else what they want to do

Isn’t that attitude one of the reasons we’re in this mess? Unfortunately people’s actions don’t only affect themselves.

[Jobsharenightmare]

Good for you OP. I'd have emailed too.

[AlternativePerspective]

You think that's bad. The powers that be have decided that in absence of being able to have a Christmas party were going to have a zoom mince pie baking competition. There's 60 of us. And we all have to supply our own ingredients. It's not optional. God give me strength. “damn, my WIFI went down... such a shame....

Seriously though, assuming this isn’t in work hours they cannot make anyone do these things.

[sneakysnoopysniper]

Well if there was one thing I hated when I was employed it was enforced jollification of this kind. Oh the stratagems I used!

One occasion I looked forward to (not) was a team building exercise outdoors treking over hills. How (un) fortunate that the day before I slipped on a wet toilet floor (no warning sign) and hurt my ankle. They had to send me home in a taxi. However I did recover sufficiently to go back to work (limping) after said outward bound weekend.

[Calimog]

I don’t think your unreasonable OP.
It sounds like a ridiculous proposition at this time.
Our boss asked us and another team to go for a night out and booked a small room in a bar to have a our Christmas party, god knows how the bar allowed it. It didn’t seem to occur to him that would mean both teams being off if someone has it and other staff caught it

[GabsAlot]

i thought it was only allowed as a sit down business meeting not a works xmas party

[LolaSmiles]

You asked if you were being unreasonable for sending the email, I think you were. Don’t ask if you’re unreasonable about something if all you want is people to tell you how right you are.
I agree.
For all the claims that they are standing up for people who feel pressured to attend, the overall impression I get is that the OP doesn't think it should happen so she's fired off an email rather than simply decline. And now she's on mumsnet hoping that she'll get a pat on the back and validation for her actions.

The assumption that people only attend work events out of obligation or to avoid rocking the boat and that people are incapable of making a decision that's right for them are frankly patronising.

I wouldn't be going to the event and it's 50/50 whether I attend work events at the best of times, but I'd certainly not be emailing HR and the CEO.

[GabsAlot]

@BigSandyBalls2015

Our local pub are giving people a 'receipt' for food - no time on it. They then buy drinks and sit there as long as they want …. if anyone comes into the pub to check compliance the receipt is produced and you say you're 'waiting for your food'.

i appreciate theyre trying to run a business but its dangerous

and what hapens if police come in and its been hours since they got their receipt for food

[sneakysnoopysniper]

I dont think OP is being unreasonable at all. Everyone has to take responsibility for their own actions and assess the risk for themselves. I dont think this gathering has been very well thought through.

[steppemum]

@TonkinLenkicks

You think that's bad. The powers that be have decided that in absence of being able to have a Christmas party were going to have a zoom mince pie baking competition. There's 60 of us. And we all have to supply our own ingredients. It's not optional. God give me strength.

I think the only way to deal with this is to grandly show off your amazing skills at opening a box and putting them on a plate