Is school being unreasonable about the park?

[OhFFSNowWhat]

I live in a Tier 2 area although my borough has consistently been the lowest infection rate in the country. This morning the mum of ds2’s friend told the teacher that I would be collecting him as we were going to the park over the road for half an hour before she’d come and pick him up. Due to both of our working hours this is something we’ve done for years as it means whoever is working doesn’t need to rush back for pick up.

I get a phone call 15 minutes before the end of school when I’m already on my way to collect from the school receptionist telling me that they had been ‘made aware’ that I was breaking lockdown rules and as a result they would not allow me to collect ds’s friend from school. I told them we were going to the park over the road as we always did which isn’t against the rules but she said she believed he was going to be coming to my house. I said that they are able to see the park from the school and if they were that concerned they were very welcome to check I was in the park and that friend would be collected within 30 minutes of school finishing. She said that they don’t have time to do that and shouldn’t be put in this position and that they wouldn’t allow me to collect him. I asked if they’d managed to contact friends mum as she would be expecting him to be in the park and I know she wouldn’t be able to get there for pickup even if she left work now. They’d left her an answerphone message and said on this occasion they’d keep child at school until mum could get there so they could explain the seriousness of the situation.

Aibu to think this is completely bonkers? We’re not breaking any rules. They seem convinced that I was going to be taking him back to my house but we never do that as he lives in the opposite direction to where we do so it always makes sense to just play at the park for half an hour. Are they even allowed to say a point blank ‘no, you’re not allowed to collect’ when the parent, the child and the person collecting want this to be the arrangement?

It’s absolutely infuriating and will make the last few weeks of term really tricky if both myself and other mum are expected to leave work 30 minutes early once a week for no reason at all. Dc’s are in Yr4 and not allowed to leave school without an adult or secondary school aged sibling accompanying them.

[cardswapping]

Childcare is an exemption to the rules. Maybe worth emailing the school the rules for their perusal, in a nice way, as I think everyone is losing it at some level.

[YoniAndGuy]

It’s absolutely infuriating and will make the last few weeks of term really tricky if both myself and other mum are expected to leave work 30 minutes early once a week for no reason at all.

Oh ha ha no.

My reply to that would be - well, we have our childcare sorted. If you don't like it, and are going to disrupt it, guess what - they're aalllll yours until we finish work. Because we absolutely won't be finishing work earlier.

[Fyngal123]

Absolutely ridiculous and friends mum should kick off big time or she can enjoy free childcare provided by school. I would be writing to them to tell them that if they refuse to let either of you pick up then they can provide free childcare until you are able to get there.

From //www.gov.uk

Childcare
There are several ways that parents and carers can continue to access childcare in tier 2. You can get childcare support from:

people in their childcare bubble – parents are able to form a childcare bubble with one other household for the purposes of informal childcare, where the child is 13 or under.

Tell them you are a support bubble!

[OhFFSNowWhat]

ohwhatamiserableyear the kids are in the same bubble at school so no issue of the bubbles mixing in the playground. We’ve been the only ones in the playground for weeks anyway as the weather has been so miserable.

fyngal123 ds’s friend is picked up by a childcare lady 3 days a week so not sure if we’d still be officially allowed to bubble with them. They’re in the same bubble at school though and we’re literally just crossing over the road and playing in a playground for 30 minutes.

[Thurlow]

If schools try and stop other parents collecting they won't have half the kids on school. There's so many siblings in isolation around here that other children wouldn't be able to get to school without other parents helping out!

[Di11y]

You can definitely do an informal childcare bubble when they have formal childcare too.

[Bluepolkadots42]

I don't even know how, in the current climate, this school has the time or energy for this. Staff at my school at the moment don't have time to use loo or eat lunch properly let alone dig into the minutiae of some child's after school arrangements.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

@YoniAndGuy

It’s absolutely infuriating and will make the last few weeks of term really tricky if both myself and other mum are expected to leave work 30 minutes early once a week for no reason at all.

Oh ha ha no.

My reply to that would be - well, we have our childcare sorted. If you don't like it, and are going to disrupt it, guess what - they're aalllll yours until we finish work. Because we absolutely won't be finishing work earlier.

I agree with this. Very heavy handed of the school and disgusting that they’ve accused you of lying.

[SnackSizeRaisin]

The rule of 6 applies outdoors so no need for any kind of bubble. School are being ridiculous not to believe you. I would contact the head teacher. They have no right to stop you collecting the child, even if you are breaking rules. They need to contact the police if they have genuine concerns about this.

[SenselessUbiquity]

They can't have it both ways. Either they aren't policing your arrangements (fine) or they are, and they can look out of the window and see everyone in the park. They can't "not have time" to look out of the window if they want to get involved. This is ridiculous.

[IrishMamaMia]

I would contact the headteacher too. I'm surprised they have time to peek into pupils personal lives in this fashion.

[strugglingtomakesenseofitall]

This is so odd.... There is either so major misunderstanding or they are idiots

[billy1966]

Unbelievable and surely beyond their brief to be questioning the arrangements parents make and then calling parents liars.

I would be furious and I would be make my fury known to the HT.

How dare they.

I certainly don't imagine this is the norm in schools.

Of course parents are going to try and work together to ease their burden.

[ImPrincessAurora]

@Bluepolkadots42

I don't even know how, in the current climate, this school has the time or energy for this. Staff at my school at the moment don't have time to use loo or eat lunch properly let alone dig into the minutiae of some child's after school arrangements.

Oh our school love teaching the kids all about ‘the rules’ and have asked my child several times what their plans are for Christmas and how many households they will be seeing.

I know one parent in the class had a phone call home to tell them they would be putting the entire school at risk if they travelled out of the country over the Xmas break.

Trust me, some school are spending a great deal of time and resources into investigating who are following ‘the rules’.

[Purpler5]

@M0mmyneedswine

I would tell them you are each others childcare bubble and its therefore within the rules

This seems a sensible idea, and preferable to otherwise telling school to jog on, which is what could happen if I were involved!

[justicedanceson]

Madness. School need to be reminded who the parents are.

[justicedanceson]

They don’t get to randomly override the parents. Legally the don’t have a leg to stand on.

[Fishfingersandwichplease]

If this had happened to me and the lady l am helping out, (and she is helping me), we would both had to have quit our jobs! School have closed breakfast club so had to do something!

[OhFFSNowWhat]

fishfongersandwichplease that’s exactly why my friend and I are doing it - school has closed wraparound care. I’d be happy to pay but no one will take him for just 30 minutes unless I pay for the whole evening session. This arrangement has worked perfectly so far - the boys get on brilliantly, they’re obsessed with Pokémon atm so they just run around for half an hour, catch some Pokémon while I stand there freezing and then we go our separate ways.

All I can think is that they’ve both been going on and on about having a sleepover at each other’s houses once lockdown is properly over (they weren’t really friends before this school year so never been round to each other’s houses). I’m wondering if they’ve been talking about it so much that the teacher has assumed that’s what we’re doing. But to stop him leaving with us even when I told them what was going on has got me so angry. I’ve emailed asking for clarification in writing and asking for a meeting with the head (only 4 classes in the whole school so I’m not really going over anyone’s head iyswim).

[Mammyofasuperbaby]

I'm in tier 3 and provided emergency childcare last week for my friend who works in care. The school had no problem with this at all. There are now 4 households that provide care for this one child. As far as we are concerned, the children mix together at school so its only minimal extra risk

[YoniAndGuy]

that’s exactly why my friend and I are doing it - school has closed wraparound care.

Oh well, looks like they've just volunteered themselves to provide some then!

Seriously - tell them they either get to fuck, or they refuse to pass the DS to you and you will shrug and go home, and they can wait until mum has finished her shift and they can provide a free after school club just for him.

They don't like it, they know where social services are and they can explain to them why they've refused to allow a parent to designate who their child gets picked up by.

[justicedanceson]

Honestly though, continuing to refuse to Release a child to the person the parents have decided to designate is very sticky waters for them. They are legally kidnapping a child if they persist with this. Their powers of control are not limitless! They act under authority of the parents for RH e purpose of providing an education. Sometimes schools do need to be reminded of this.