Where did she go?

[Tantrumcity]

Name changed for this

I have a 26 month old Dd and just wanted to check if her behaviour is normal ‘Terrible two’s’ type behaviour or not.
She used to be a fairly easy, happy, calm girl.
She’s sort of hyper the majority of the time, generally throws strops over the littlest things, many of which don’t even make sense. She’s really hard to get to nap or sleep and night. She spends a lot of the day if we’re inside just chucking her toys around, climbing on the sofa.
I make sure we’re out for walks with the dog most days or on her pushbike, seeing friends, shopping, park etc and she spends a lot of the time running in the garden.
She’s just completely non stop and I’m finding I’m thinking more and more about wanting to go back to work full time, just to get a break.
I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed and miserable at the moment.
Is this a normal level of activity and behaviour? How long does this last?

[Lilymossflower]

Yep normal xx

[FrogOfFrogHall]

It's pretty normal but I do know mine get very much more like this when they are over tired. You mentioned sleep being a bit of a battle, you may have got yourself stuck in an over tired cycle!

[Tantrumcity]

@FrogOfFrogHall Yes I’ve thought could be this too, trying to help her get as much sleep as possible at the moment, it never seems enough!

[FrogOfFrogHall]

When mine are overtired they wake up really early which does not help! With my son, an early night will sort him out. With my daughter, I bring her into our bed in the night and she tends to sleep a bit better to re-set the cycle!

[PrtScn]

You've just described my son. He's currently refusing to go to sleep (I've left his dad sort him out), after only having a 40 minute nap. I was so happy when he went back to nursery for 3 mornings. He's there 5 mornings now. I'm pushing for him to go full time but OH wants to "save money" so I'm basically making him look after him in the afternoons as much as I can. We are still WFH so if he wants to save a few quid he can catch up with his work in the evenings as I'm not!

[ifhedoesntlikeithecanstuffit]

I'm sure it's pretty normal - but all kids are different.
I have twins. DD was always fairly easy from birth. DS was exactly as you describe! He could be a difficult baby, liked stimulating and outside interraction where she could amuse herself, but mostly was OK until late afternoons when he was tired. But the moment he was 2 it was like someone flicked a switch and he became the perfect stereotype of the terrible twos! Luckily DD continued to be easy (less so in later years....) so it was manageable, but I remember how hard that year was!

Fortunately it did get easier when he was three or four. And he always slept through the night which was a godsend. He was in fact diagnosed later with ASD and ADHD but I will never know how much of his behaviour was due to that and how much was normal toddler tantrums. If you do have concerns it might be worth talking to your local preschool or surestart centre (if they still exist) but hopefully it's just the terrible twos! Good luck!

[FourPlasticRings]

Yeah, sounds fairly standard.

[MadameMeursault]

Very normal. They don’t call it the terrible twos for nothing. What you need to do even though it’s really difficult is never give into the tantrums. If you do, she’ll realise she can have a tantrum and get her own way. Keep boundaries firm and consistent, make sure you and her dad are imposing the same rules. And remember - nothing lasts forever (she’ll be having teenage strops before you know it!)

[Tantrumcity]

It just seems to be everything that annoys/upsets her at the moment. She doesn’t want to get dressed, sometimes doesn’t want to keep her clothes on, doesn’t want to eat certain things (she was never fussy before) it worried me last week as we were on holiday and she freaked out over seaweed and the sand (we live near the beach so she’s used to the sand, it was just a very windy day so it was blowing on her) she then didn’t want to walk on the sand..does that seem ok? It definitely feels like it’s all come at once!

[Tantrumcity]

She was such great company before, now it’s like ‘Argghhh!’

[BrummyMum1]

There’s a reason it’s called the terrible 2s! I still look back and shudder when I think of parenting a 2 year old. You are totally normal to find it exhausting but if you hang on in there it will eventually get better.

[essexmum777]

Mine was hyper when she was 2 until 5, I went to back to work full time and she went to a lovely nursery where they use to drop hints that she was full of beans which i think was code for ADHD - however she calmed down when she went to school - my choice of school was heavily influenced by how often they did PE.

[AmelieTaylor]

It's pretty normal

• but so is finding it fucking hard!!
  

I don't currently have one that age & you do (believe it or not!) miss it. It's a lovely age, but farming them out (grandparents, aunties,childcare) is the key to enjoying it!! Having them 24/7 is exhausting. (Bottle of Prosecco in the fridge helps)

[BrummyMum1]

I literally remember the day the terrible 2s started it was like a switch, my DC was definitely a challenge and everything you describe fits in with my experience (plus huge emotional melt downs). I was worried (along with her nursery) that she had certain sensory issues but by the age of 3 she’d grown out of them.

[FourPlasticRings]

Yeah, they're irrational little beings at the best of times. They want control and have little of it so they rage at the weirdest things. An example irrational convo with my 27 month old:
'Mummy, read this story.'
'OK (begins to read)'
'NO! (Eyes starting to water) Don't read that, Mummy!'
'OK, that's fine- you read it then.'
'NOOO!' (Now in tears) 'Mummy read it!'
'You want me to read it?'
'YESSSS'
'OK then' (tries to see page to start reading)
'NO MUMMY-STOP!' (Throws book across floor in a fit of rage.)

🤷 Toddlers are fun.

[RettyPriddle]

Totally normal! One of my chilled back boys went wild at two. He was a complete handful, until he went to school, where he is supremely well behaved. 🤩

[Insaneinthemembury]

My boy is like this, same age. Lots of tantrums, crying, irrational behaviour, stubbornness. Very little regard for his own safety! Full of energy. I think it's quite normal. It is hard though

[baubled]

Oh god I remember these days!! Such hard work.

We found that nursery did really help because it wore DS out a bit and it gave him the extra stimulation with all the activities and being round other kids his age. He's actually been a bit of a terror again recently (45 month ) but since he started his school nursery full time last week he's been a bit of a delight and we've just been saying that it could be down to the extra stimulation that he needed.

The one thing which (I've only recently) learned is when they're kicking off if you can distract them it can sometimes work like a charm!

Good luck though OP because the mental drain is real and probably not appreciated enough!

[dayknight19]

My DD was and still is like this. Never still.
We try to get her to go out to the woods to climb trees, go to the playground etc. every day. That helps. At that age she started going to nursery a few mornings a week too.
I commiserate with you x It’s so full on. Try to get a break xx

[BlackeyedSusan]

Your lovely little girl will come back, after the terrible twos,
and the threenagers,
and the fearsome fours

and then it will be fine til they are about nine...
by the time she is 13/14 you will be looking back on the terrible twos with fond meories, because at tleast you can still pick her up and carry her off and it is a lot less costly in replacement bedroom doors.



ps, if she is having a strop, try blowing raspberries on her neck or tickling her. sometimes it diffuses the situation for you both. Alternatively you can practise examining items on supermarket shelves studiously as if you had no care in the world, nor a kicking screaming wailing monster tucked under one arm.

[CoffeeDay]

I'm so relieved to read this thread! That literally describes my daughter (almost 2 yrs) and I'm starting looking up early symptoms of ADHD this week. One year ago she was a happy placid baby but now she's hyper from the second she wakes up. Tries climbing onto everything, throwing toys, whining when she doesn't get what she wants instantly etc. Today she threw a tantrum in the bathtub over a bathbomb because she licked it and it tasted horrible. Getting her to sit in a buggy is hopeless now and I really miss long walks and shopping trips. Keeping all my fingers crossed this is just a phase!

[Alongcameacat]

DC2 was like this at well and is now in primary and I'm still waiting for it to stop!
I lived (still often still do) for bedtimes and spent a lot of time and money on extra activities in an effort to make life easier for me. There is certainly such a thing as a 'high maintenance' child.

[Tantrumcity]

I just would like to enjoy our time together like we used to. Recently it’s been from the moment she wakes up..breakfast is never what she wants, then it is, then she shouts as what’s in Milkshake isn’t what she wants on..then changes her mind. It’s like ‘For gods sake, girl!’

[user1471462428]

Have you considered yoga? It’s transformed my little boy and because he’s so little he’s very flexible. There are YouTube videos to set you off.

[FedUpAtHomeTroels]

Poor you OP. Dd did this overnight when she was 2.5. I couldn't believe it. Our older boys never did it. She was like a different child from one day to the next and didn't really get better for about 6 months. It's so wierd.