AIBU To ask Y7/8/9 parents are you encouraging DC to do remote school work?

[Chaotic45]

My son is Y8. His school have asked they he does 3-4 hours of school work a day. The provision has been extremely patchy, with feedback only provided in French and some English, plus maths marked automatically by the website he uses.

Every day he has sat and slogged over this work. He has struggled with motivation, some of the more tricky work, PSFs that are hard to follow, links that are broken and the sheer boredom of dry worksheet after worksheet and work that TBH I feel in many cases is of questionable benefit.

I am still asking him, sometimes nagging even to make sure that he does all school work. He is now quite resentful, and sometimes the work gets drawn out all day as I try to give him some level of autonomy as to how and when it gets done.

He gets little praise from school for doing the work- just an occasional non personal group email. I've tried to tackle this with school but to no avail.

I'm aware from what he tells me and contact that I have with other parents that many of his peers are just not doing the work. I was initially quite shocked, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm in the minority and have taken the wrong approach.

A parent I really respect who is also a primary school teacher told me yesterday that i should let DS off the school work and encourage him to enjoy this time. This has made me doubt myself further.

I guess I am very worried about the effect of no schooling for so long, and I don't believe it will be remotely easy to catch up- so I reacted by insisting he did all work. But maybe I'm on a hiding to nothing!

May I ask what whether other parents of similarly aged DC feel if is important that they do all remote school work?

I want to add that I'm aware many schools are providing excellent remote learning, and that I have raised my concerns with DS's school but they have no plans to improve the current set up.

[Dee1975]

DC not in same year group as you - but I think the same rule can apply - get them to do what they can each day.
One hour or three, doesn’t matter. But at least ‘something’ per day. Just to keep the brain geared to learning ..

[Doryhunky]

Core stuff yes but faffy pointless project stuff no

[Chaotic45]

I really appreciate all the comments on this thread. I'm going to email DS' head of year tomorrow and ask his advice. If he's not replied by the weekend I'll just make my own decision.

[BaconAndAvocado]

I have one in Year 7 and one in Year 8.

The Year 8 gets the majority done, the Year 7 is struggling much more with motivation. She probably does the bare minimum and sometimes less.

I'm trying not to worry too much. Luckily, Years 7 and 8 aren't as important as some other school years

[formerbabe]

I have a year 7 ds...he is working every day but it's getting tougher and tougher. He is pretty fed up now...and I'm in an impossible situation where he wants me to help but doesn't...so we have lots of teenage style stroppiness over it all. We were initially trying to do every subject but my priority is maths and english. I honestly cannot facilitate the more arty creative subjects anymore...it's not worth the nagging to be fair. I need to balance his educational needs with retaining some harmony.

[Wotsitsarecheesy]

DD is Y8. She has ASD/PDA and is doing almost no homework at all. She has always separated school and home so lockdown is difficult. Her school set a range of work on Monday to be in Friday. Some of her teachers are throwing out worksheets with seemingly little thought while others are trying hard to make work interesting. Not all of it has to be handed in and some of the worksheets she has been sent are totally inappropriate for a child with ASD. I have tried all sorts of approaches to try and get her to do at least something, but she simply doesn't. The only parents I am in touch with are those of other children with ASD. Only 1 of those children is doing the work set. I am extremely conscious of the amount of work DD is missing and how much she is falling behind. The school hasn't chased any of the missed work as far as I am aware, but I am in regular contact with the learning support manager so that may be why.

[elliejjtiny]

My year 7 son is doing it willingly and my year 9 son is doing it with a bit of nagging.

[Wondergirl100]

I think children would get more out of creative time, time spent in relaxed conversation with parents, time spent outdoors - than doing work that is de motivating and adds to the stress hormones pumping in their bodies.

[LellyMcKelly]

Mine have been pretty good (Y7 and Y9). I set quite a rigid schedule from day 1 mostly because we’re also working full time, and on the whole we’ve stuck to it pretty well. They get a Zoom class a few times a week and they have almost organically set up study groups with friends, so I can hear them laughing and talking but they’re getting the work done too - probably in a similar way to how they would do it in school. Some of the teachers have set up project type topics (e.g. looking at aspects of public health in Victorian times) and that has worked well. The marking is patchy though we get regular emails and updates from the school. They use Google classroom so it’s easy to check work and grades. The school has very strong inclusive leadership and that makes a huge difference. We’re not getting phone calls but we don’t need them. I imagine calls are made when they’re needed.

[formerbabe]

I think children would get more out of creative time, time spent in relaxed conversation with parents, time spent outdoors - than doing work that is de motivating and adds to the stress hormones pumping in their bodies

Depends. My ds would genuinely prefer to sit and do maths than some of the more creative tasks he has been set. He is obsessed with history as well and actually loves doing his work for that. So for us, it's easier to get him to do that. If I try to get him to do the music or art work set, he actually gets really stressed

[Strugglingtodomybest]

I have a DS in year 9 and another in year 10.

I told the one in year 9 not to bother with Drama, Music, or Art right from the start as he's not interested in them and won't be carrying on with them and after half term school obviously agreed and started them on their GCSE subjects.

Both boys are set all their work for the week on Monday and it has to be in by 4pm on Thursday.

I haven't had much of a problem motivating them, I gave them a lecture at the start of lockdown about how important it was to stay on top of the work otherwise they'd have shit loads to catch up on, they know it has to be done, and they would much rather be doing a few hours at home every day than spend all day at school. They are also loving that they they don't have to get up until 10am (to start at 11), as am I! In fact, I have a suspicion that the hardest part of all this is to come - getting them back to school. I've already had, oh but I learn much more here with you than I do at school, from my year 10.

I am helping when they ask me to, but I WFH normally and I'm trying to save my business at the same time, so things have got stressful on occasion. However, overall I'd say that this has been a great period of reconnecting with each other. My year 10 actually talks to me again and me and my year 9 boy have been out walking almost every day together and he's also got more chatty.

[MercedesDeMonteChristo]

We have a Y7 and Y9.

Y9 is top sets and reasonably self motivated, he won’t want to move sets so will do enough to stay where he is. No more though and I do have to nag to get him to start but then he is self sufficient. He does seem to spend long periods on subjects he loves but i really have to force him to do maths. Overall, I think he will manage and be ok.

Y7 I do worry about. He has said he would prefer to be in school with teachers and the school are doing lots, weekly check ins etc. He needs nagging to the nth degree and then tries to get away with the minimum and often needs input. Science in particular has been put into packs in a slightly odd way. He is middling anyway and lacks confidence so this is impacting his learning quite a lot and I am only expecting 2/3 subjects a day as we split them all up over the week.

[SouthWestmom]

Nope. After seven weeks the school emailed to say he was getting 0 for assessments at the end of term as he had done nothing.

Not one teacher in that time had the thought to join it up/refer to head of year/contact me etc.

So fuck it really. 7 weeks of work that wasn't important enough to chase up and much easier to just give him 0.

They know there are reasons that he might struggle and didn't care to check.

[sassbott]

@Noeuf I have to ask. Did you not think to check his work? I mean work is being set in apps/ online/ via email?

I understand your grievance that no teacher had thought to escalate it to you, but do you not think any onus is on you to check the work? Even if it’s weekly?

[SouthWestmom]

Do you really think I haven't asked, checked he is up and at the table with his chrome book? Provided pens, paper, regular snacks and asked?

Are you saying I should have looked at the emails or teams work for every lesson, waited while it uploaded and then say with him while he did it?

All while looking after my other (disabled) child who can't attend school, and trying to keep my job?

As I said there are reasons he might struggle which the school are aware of.

[Wotsitsarecheesy]

I sympathise @Noeuf. My DD started off doing bits of work, then just stopped, while continuing to tell me she was still working. She was often at her laptop typing into Word so I believed her. It turns out she had decided to write a novel, and that was what she was working on! It was only when the learning support manager got in touch that I realised what was going on. But she only thought a couple of pieces were outstanding. It turns out that it's all of it. Most of the teachers are setting work but saying don't submit it. Even maths she is expected to mark herself and not submit. So it's only the couple of teachers that were expecting work to be sent in that raised an issue.

[Wannakisstheteacher]

DS is in Y7 at an independent prep school. From day 1 he's had 6 subjects a day to complete. I'm beyond exhausted. He doesn't want to do it anymore, I spend a horrendous amount of time forcing him to stay on task each day. He's bright, but very, very lazy. He wants to be in the scholarship class in September but he's shown no inclination to actually push himself. Always the bare minimum to avoid a 'special mention' in the daily Teams tutor time.

[Writerandreader]

I think it's a huge expectation of children to ask them to educate themselves! I find working from home hard and I know that as a teen I would have absolutely hatred trying to do hours of work with no input from teachers.

Have we forgotten these kids have lived through a pandemic. Now we ask them to try and do hours of school work without real teaching. Parents have jobs to do it's ludicrous to expect them to honeschol.

There is a real divide between parents who want more school work set and those like me who are overwhelmed with trying to do our jobs from home and need kids back in childcare or school ASAP
I also think we should recognise that formal learning is over played and pushed on our kids anyway and this is showing up how dull a lot of it is

[sassbott]

@Noeufy apologies. That’s not great and I’m sorry it’s happened. How does it impact them next academic year? Can you talk to the school and see if there is anything you can do over the summer hols to play catch up?

My year 7 is back to school next week, huge relief. Only doing core subjects but that’s good enough for me.

[SouthWestmom]

Sassbot
That's really good, mine is so keen to see his friends again.

I think he hit issues and couldn't keep up, knows I'm distracted by his brothers care needs and my work and so sort of gave up anything tricky.

I'm going to get him to do duolingo over the Summer, read some 'clever' books like Shakespeare modern versions and work through some ks3 English and science. The pressure will be slightly less as the education for my older two will have stopped and I might be able to get some time with him.