AIBU to be disappointed that uncle won’t visit us and the kids now social bubbles possible?

[britflick]

The kid’s uncle who lives on his own (aged 39 and healthy), won’t visit us and the kids cos he’s still extremely anxious about coronavirus. He sees us as a big risk to him. The children are craving family contact, and he’s just getting depressed and isolated on his own. AIBU to be annoyed?

[Needaripeavocado]

@ElizabethMainwaring

Good grief. There are some bloody horrible people on here!

I know people can be vile

[bluegreygreen]

It's not compulsory to meet someone if you don't feel up to it.

Also, if he has any underlying conditions he's probably better not meeting people just yet (you said he hasn't but my siblings don't necessarily know all my medical history).

Being 'annoyed' that someone doesn't meet up with you isn't usually a way of expressing concern about them, which probably explains the harsher posts

[Embracelife]

www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/

You can't force him to meet you.
Try someone e else

[Spartak]

I'm a similar age and live alone. I caught the virus just as we went into lockdown, and was off sick from work for 8 weeks, and I'm still sleeping 12 hours a day.

Coping with being as ill as I was alone - unable to manage to get downstairs for two days so just crawling to the bathroom for tap water, shitting myself because I couldn't move fast enough to get to the loo in time, lying on sweat soaked sheets for hours because I couldn't muster the energy to change them, it was fucking hideous. I don't blame him for not wanting to catch it.

That said, I'm now clear of the virus, although my blood results show I'm still ill. I'm staying with family now for a couple of days and having company, and physical contact is wonderful. Just sitting watching the children here play, and snuggling up on the sofa with their dog has been so beneficial for my mental health.

[ElizabethMainwaring]

Is he your brother op?

[ElizabethMainwaring]

Good grief. There are some bloody horrible people on here!

[Whataloadofshite]

@britflick

The kid’s uncle who lives on his own (aged 39 and healthy), won’t visit us and the kids cos he’s still extremely anxious about coronavirus. He sees us as a big risk to him. The children are craving family contact, and he’s just getting depressed and isolated on his own. AIBU to be annoyed?

You're totally out of order.

[Yeahnahmum]

Yabu yabu yabu and yabu. Also you are very selfish

[Jeremyironsnothing]

He may well love to, but is protecting himself. Cut him some slack.

[ilovesooty]

It sounds as though he doesn't consider it "a mutually beneficial meet up".

[letsjustallbenice]

@britflick

Jeez, you’re a judgemental lot aren’t you. I don’t want entertainment, babysitting or anything else. Just want me and the kids to be able to speak to him face to face.
I have been trying to help him everyday but he rejects any steps towards anything positive.

yes they are being abit unfair on you and dont know you that well, im sorry that he doesnt want to come that is a shame for you and your children, we are in a similar position but try not to take it personal because it is nothing to do with you, he sounds very anxious and some people still are, thats all you can do is let him know the offer is there and be there for him as you have been already, you will see him soon enough im sure

[GalwayGrowl]

You're not unreasonable but neither is he.

Neither of you are wrong. It's up to each individual to decide what's best for them in this situation.

What would you like us to say? This isn't a clear cut right or wrong situation.

[lucyintheskywithcz]

His choice YABU

[Jaxhog]

Maybe he doesn't like your kids (or you) as much as you think?

[Khione]

You're not unreasonable to be disappointed as per your title but a bit unreasonable to be annoyed.

An otherwise healthy 39 year old is a bit 'unreasonable' to still be frightened of leaving his flat and I don't think you would be unreasonable to worry about him a bit but really there is very little you can do.

I am very very surprised to see how many on here still think he is reasonable to be scared though. The government have really done a number on some people.

[RandomMess]

Actually YANBU to be disappointed, it's always disappointing when someone you want to spend time with doesn't want to spend time with you/your DC

[livefornaps]

Oh god no way would I want this! I'd rather stick alone in my happy solo bubble, drinking wine alone on the sofa, leaving the "bubble" open to a sneaky shag, rather than open the floodgate fucking gates to snotty-nosed children putting their fingers on everything.

[Witchend]

It's not wrong for them to want to see him.
It's also not wrong for him not to want to see them.

If he's happy on his own, and wanting to stay that way then he shouldn't be pressurised to see anyone except of his choice.

The best thing you can do is offer that if he would like you, on your own or with the kids, to come round, then you're happy to do so, and then leave the subject.

Nothing brings out my inner hermit more than people trying to pressurise me to meet up.

[Whathewhatnow]

Perish the thought your children and you night also have needs! Harsh comments here. I dont think you're being unreasonable to be disappointed. Dealing with people with MH issues can be extremely frustrating and very hard going. And I sat that as someone with a history of MH issues and extensive family experience before anyone takes umbrage! Is he your brother or BIL?

[CuppaZa]

YABU

[britflick]

Sorry I give up. Is it wrong for my children to want to see their uncle who they love and miss?
Thank you to all of you who offered constructive advice.

[whywhywhy6]

Yes YABU. He can decide what he does.

[ConstantlySeekingHappiness]

The children are craving family contact

I think it was this line that suggested it was for your children’s benefit rather than his.

How much pressure are you putting on him? Are you saying that your kids are desperate to see him? Are you making it sound like it’s all about your children and how important it is to them?

[IsolatedIzzy]

People are dealing with this is their own way! I thought I was risk averse then found my friends - a couple/ had left the house for the first time in 12 weeks - on Monday! It was their first walk!
We're all in our 50's, so I guess a bit more at risk but I was really shocked!

[TheCanyon]

Maybe he doesn't want your dc foisted on him? I'm quite surprised at home sensible my son's have been, thought they would be right over the second sturgeon said we could have 8.