To think this is the weirdest 'thank you' ever?

[Grobagsforever]

A year ago a neighbour dented my car. My car is pretty dented anyway so I just laughed and told her not to worry, it's just a car. She said I was kind and mentioned she had some dressing up dresses she thought my DD's would like, I didn't really want more dresses but yes please to be polite. Dresses never appear.

Yesterday, (a year later) a carrier bag appears on my door step, with a note from neighbour saying this is my 'thank you' stuff for being kind. Contents include:

An old fabric zip up lunch box
Various GCSE revision guides (she knows my kids are primary age)
Old ladies size 4 trainers
One small dressing up dress
A half used colouring book.

The whole lot STINKS of smoke.

AIBU to think she's had a clear out and fly tipped to my house!

[UnfinishedSymphon]

Seriously do not accept it or keep it or she'll be dumping all of her shite on you. Just return it, at night if you're not brave enough to do it face to face, and tell her that you can't use it because it's shite/ stinks/ too small/ too big* but thank you. It needs nipping in the bud now

*delete as appropriate

[boredtotears11]

When you next see her say something like “thank you so much for the parcel, you really didn’t need to be so generous, it was very much appreciated by us all. The trainers were just slightly big for my daughter but she’ll grow in to them.” just watch her face for the reaction.

[Zaphodsotherhead]

I think she was trying to be kind. Does she not have children or have children that are grown up? It's very hard to remember the sort of things children do and like when you no longer have them of that age, she may have thought the things would be good for dressing up/pretend play (schools, etc) and genuinely have no idea of what children REALLY play with (to be honest, when I was young donkeys years ago, we probably would have looked on this stuff as potential play equipment, we were poor).

And she won't be able to smell the smoke.

She meant it kindly. Receive it kindly, chuck it in the bin and never speak of it again. If you want to stop her, leave her a note saying thank you but the children have enough toys now and you don't have the space to store more.

[ItWorriesMeThisKindofThing]

Some people honestly believe all their old stuff has value (volunteer for a charity shop to see what I mean). She likely meant well.

[swampytiggaa]

@ItWorriesMeThisKindofThing

Some people honestly believe all their old stuff has value (volunteer for a charity shop to see what I mean). She likely meant well.

This is true. I manage a charity shop 😂😂 praying the tips open properly before we go back to work...

[Nevertouchakoala]

Straight in the bin with it! So weird. Came from a good place but very strange!

[AdoptedBumpkin]

@jay55

Put it in her bin.

This! 😂

[Coffeecak3]

Smokers have no idea how strong the smell is. I had a colleague who gave up smoking because she was due to have an operation.
2 days after the operation she was told she could put hew own nightdress on. She took her clean nightdress from the locker and was mortified at the smell of smoke. She never smoked again.

[Beautiful3]

Just take one thing out, and return the rest with a thank you note.

[alwaysanewlife]

Maybe she just felt really bad about the car and was trying to be nice but didn't have anything valuable to offer so just bunged aload of crap in a bag?

This is it! Except she doesn't realise it is crap. She obviously has been sorting stuff out but probably genuinely thinks you might have use for it. Don't give it back. Just quietly dispose of it yourself. If more stuff arrives, just find a way to politely say thanks but no thanks.

[Susanna85]

You could return them. Leave a note inside. “Thank you for the kind gesture. The dressing up dress is too small but appreciate your thinking of her. We hope someone else can make use of it.”

Don’t mention the other items, just return the lot.

This is what definitely I would do. You don't want it in your house (reasonable) but what if you bin it and she asks for one of the things back or something. She's odd enough to give you a bag of crap so you never know.

[diddl]

If you can fit it in your bin, I'd just do that & say no to anything in future.

[2bazookas]

Is she 60+ ? The car bump, the weird gift, and the lost sense of time could all point to dementia, in which case she should not be driving.

[LillianBland]

There’s no need to send it back to her, unless you’ve no room in your bin. She may be struggling financially and perhaps doesn’t understand that her gift is tat to others. Just be graceful when you next see her. If she asks, you can tell her that it didn’t fit, but you appreciate the thought. If she makes a habit of doing that, then say something. There’s no need to embarrass her and create bad feelings between both of you.

[Typohere]

I'd agree that smokers don't realise that they smell of smoke (despite the mints/cleaning teeth/perferm etc). Many really don't seem to have any sense of smell at all.

At least with social distancing I can not get to close to the ashtrays of society

[incognitomum]

Does she get any visitors? Wonder if she's going stir crazy and is lonely and trying to reach out?

[Typohere]

perfume typo!

[belfasteast]

I had a lovely laugh at this, imagining she's from the same generation as my late octogenarian aunt who would 'gift' us random items of hers along a similar vein. I'd just say thanks and bin the stuff and pray she doesn't offload more stuff.

[CustardySergeant]

2bazookas the OP said "She's in her 30's/40's and seems perfectly normal...".

[Di11y]

just bin the lot outside and think no more about it.

[Ohtherewearethen]

Is she 60+ ? The car bump, the weird gift, and the lost sense of time could all point to dementia, in which case she should not be driving.

Completely irrelevant.

I don't think financial struggles are an excuse for off-loading a completely random bag of useless shite on a neighbour. Especially if she smokes. There are many, many free/cheap things she could have done to say thank you, but after a year it seems unnecessary and weird.

[Grobagsforever]

Yes she's not old at all! Honestly she's a normal woman, early 40's I'd say.

[Grobagsforever]

Pretty sure she has a family living with her..

[Happynow001]

What @AdoreTheBeach said (08:00)