AIBU to wonder why so many SNITCHES on here?!

[GinDaddyRedux]

This is not a joke thread. What is it with all the "AIBU to report..." at the moment?

I can understand the febrile atmosphere due to the outbreak of novel coronavirus. I too was angry when I read the Cummings story and the subsequent reinterpretation of the lockdown rules by no.10 - for a containment strategy to work, people need to trust Government and voluntarily sacrifice to contain the virus.

However... there are just so many scenarios where someone is keen to report a neighbour, friend or individual for suspected behaviour. They won't confront that person and ask them why. They won't gain much if anything from the reporting. But they just have to report... because anything else would mean they're locking down and someone else is gaining an advantage, and that won't do.

I wonder aloud if this will continue post-Coronavirus. Will we remain a tell-tale society where people immediately report like primary school on people they can't stand and want to be punished?

AIBU for being a bit fatigued by all the ratting and telling going on?

[SoupDragon]

This is not a joke thread

Oh, it is when it's from you.

[AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter]

An anonymous report also helps to keep the peace to some extent rather than a direct confrontation

I dont think that was the motivation for people anonymously putting passive aggressive notes on NHS worker cars. I think was more to do with pure cowardice

[plunkplunkfizz]

As if you can’t tell, I’m pro-reporting. We all have a duty to maintain lockdown (or at least did, subject to our “instincts”) so why should my local restaurant not stick to the rules or my neighbour?

The police have powers to break up gatherings but they can’t use them if they don’t know what’s happening.

[NewYearNewTwatName]

vindictive reporting is more appropriate.

As we are talking about silly flouts being reported.

Total disregard of rules and safety for others is justifiable reportable.

it's the same as
ignoring someone having a heated argument,
and ignoring someone beating the shit out of someone.

one needs intervention one doesn't.

[fuckinghellthisshit]

Is this regular or dry snitching @GinDaddyRedux?
Did you know there are reddit threads dedicated to your weird snitching fetish?
I think that Reporting your neighbours to the police is a bit odd, but not nearly as weird as your behaviour on MN.

[GinDaddyRedux]

@CourtneyLurve

If I broke the rules, I'd be endangering my severely ill parent who lives with us. So yeah funnily enough, go and find someone else to poke and get attention from.

[MouthBreathingRage]

Is that the sort of snitching that's allowed though?

According the the OP's previous comments, snitching is anything from a school mum just before lockdown reporting another mum for not keeping her kids off school, even though they'd just flown in from Italy, to reporting a colleague for making racist comments. The OP thinks any type of reporting is awful, not just the usual tit-for-tat.

[rawlikesushi]

What should I do about a family member who has very obvious symptoms but has told me this morning that she'll continue going to work. She works at a special school, and certainly didn't listen to my reasoning. She says if she doesn't go in, there's no one to cover.

[milveycrohn]

When the so-called lock down first started I said to my DH that there are not enough police to enforce it, and will be relying on neighbours to report each other.
I actually find that more sinister.

[hamstersarse]

There is some interesting research which is decades old that looks at how the prevalence of infectious disease increases authoritarian behaviour.

People demand authoritarianism when there is infectious disease.

So if you look at Eastern Asian countries where they have a high prevalence of infectious disease they accept authoritarianism indeed many of their cultural behaviours are based around it...bowing instead of handshaking etc.

The less infectious disease you have in a society the more libertarian it tends to be. So we’ve been very libertarian in recent times having eradicated most infectious disease, and covid has made it resurface.

The authoritarism that has emerged is the thing I’ve found most difficult about the pandemic

[puffinandkoala]

People should mind their own business. Follow the rules and don't worry about other people. If I went out 3 times a day for exercise I was not going to increase the risk to other people, in fact I wasn't even going to increase the risk if I drove for exercise (except to the extent that I might have had an accident and people might have had to come and help me - I accept that argument). Equally had I been in Ireland and gone more than 2km for my exercise I would not have spread the virus.

Dictatorships get people to "snitch" (not sure what's wrong with that word by the way) by persuading people that rules are for the common good. But quite often - and even in this case - they are about control. There was zero need for the Spanish to say you couldn't go further than 200m from your home, for example. It made it easier to control people, but it made zero difference to whether someone was going to spread the virus or not.

The "essential" shopping thing was ludicrous too. It makes no difference whether I am going to the shops for a loaf of bread, an Easter egg or a chicken for a roast dinner.

I don't know if other countries had their own brand of coronastasi but all those who said that the Nazis would never have succeeded in the UK - well now you know they definitely would have done - and potentially really enthusiastically.

[RibenaMonsoon]

I must admit it's gotten to the stage where financially, I HAVE to go back to work. We cannot afford not to. My mum does my childcare for DD who is only 10 months. She will be coming over on Thursdays again to do so. If neighbours want to report me they can go ahead. If it makes them feel better. It will change nothing.

[TildaKauskumholm]

People 'snitch' because the ones breaking the rules are likely to be unreasonable/defensive and or aggressive if challenged directly.

[ItMustBeBedtimeSurely]

I agree OP, it's quite disturbing.

[BubblesBuddy]

And the word “snitch” isn’t just used by children. It’s in wide use as meaning someone who reports something in order to cause trouble. So it’s totally appropriate in this case. Yes. I think had the state gone further and backed up the rules with strict police enforcement relying on informers, we wouldn’t have been short of informers.

[savehalloween]

There's always been an undercurrent of this on Mumsnet that thankfully doesn't seem to represent real life.

Everything is logged with 101. The pathetic 'did you mean to be so rude?'. It's a pearl clutcher's paradise where you're expected to conform to made up rules (no toilet brush, if you can eat more than a slice of Dominos you're a monster etc).

I think people see one thread and then the herd mentality kicks in and everyone starts questioning if they should report the apparent rule breaking they've witnessed.

Take comfort in the fact that these people would come across like complete idiots in real life. And that if they had any intention of reporting they would have done it. People start threads (especially in AIBU) when they think they will get a lot of replies

[GinDaddyRedux]

@TildaKauskumholm

You are spot on and I think this is actually the root of the entire problem in the UK at the moment.

You get so many people who are horribly angry, sweary and defensive when they're in the wrong.

If someone parks across someone else's drive for what they consider is a legitimate reason, and then are politely challenged by the actual owner of the driveway? It's all "fuck off don't tell me what to do!"

No wonder people resort to an independent authority, I guess there's only so many times you can face verbal abuse and ignorance

[TabbyMumz]

I think generally, people arent reporting, they are just discussing it on social media. So you will see posts like "why are people like this, my neighbour down the road having a part etc or having people round", but they dont actually pick up the phone to report it. They just want to bitch about it. Its mob justice.

[rawlikesushi]

"People should mind their own business. Follow the rules and don't worry about other people."

If other people's behaviour didn't affect them, I guess that's exactly what they'd do.

But it does doesn't it. If the infection rate increases, all of this has been pointless and will continue for so much longer.

I've noticed that people breaking lockdown don't believe that though. They have managed to convince themselves that they can't possibly have it asymptomatically, or that they probably had it ages ago, or that it's all a big conspiracy. This allows them to do what they want without feeling any guilt or social responsibility, and shout 'snitch' indignantly at others.

[BubblesBuddy]

So which of the above was Cummings’ defence?

[Mintjulia]

Whatever we call it, I find the need to interfere in other people’s lives wearying, yes

[Bluntness100]

I also agree op. I think though thr people who do it have always been that person. They just now feel they are able to admit it.

People are spying on their neighbours and reporting them. The fact we locked down to protect the nhs and it’s been successful is irrelevant to them. The satisfaction is in the reporting.

I genuinely am not and would never wish to be that person. I have neighbours who have broken the rules, I hear them, see the cars. I’m sure as hell not considering reporting them to the police.

If the nhs was close to being breached, if there was a risk that people could get refused treatment, if the statistics didn’t show that there was a minuscule risk to those under 65 with no health conditions and this was a much more fatal and infectious disease and I though genuinely they were putting lives at risk. I’d likely talk to them first and if it continued then I’d maybe consider it.

But with a low fatality rate, a successful lock down, the nhs protected, the goal achieved then no, I certainly wouldn’t wish to be the curtain twitching neighbour reporting folks to the police for nothing more than the satisfaction of doing so.

[WaterOffADucksCrack]

because anything else would mean they're locking down and someone else is gaining an advantage, and that won't do I think this is bang on. People can't stand others having something they don't. Just look at the blue light card thread for example. "They have something I don't and no one should have anything unless I can".

[OoohTheStatsDontLie]

I think comparing them to people reporting people for being Jewish or reporting people in Eastern Germany for not adhering to the rules is a bit harsh and not the same, there were often benefits to the people doing the reporting and sanctions for the ones reported.

In this case there is no benefit to the individuals that report.

I agree it's horrible that people report individuals without knowing the facts eg if someone is frequently going out in their car, why not give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are a key worker going to work rather than assume the worst.

But I think its different when it's clear there is total contempt for the guidelines eg someone is clearly having a big party. What good would talking to them do in that situation? There is mo circumstance where that is ok, even funerals have caps on numbers. And to me it's not a case of 'mind your own business / live and let live etc', and nor is it a case of sour grapes when comparing things we have sacrificed, as, especially at the start of lockdown, having big gatherings would be likely to directly lead to more deaths.

I dont want to live in a society where people report people for the slightest thing. But equally I don't want to live in a society where people can take action that is likely to kill others, and no body does or says anything because it's only strangers that are likely to die, not them, and they dont want to be a snitch.

I've not reported my various neighbours for having friends and family round in their gardens. I have reported a large scale gathering of 50 people I saw in someone elses garden two weeks into lockdown.

[Justanotherscumbag]

People 'snitch' because the ones breaking the rules are likely to be unreasonable/defensive and or aggressive if challenged directly.

But that's the thing isn't it. In a lot of cases they don't know if the rules are being broken at all and aren't thinking things through.
Key workers cars having anonymous notes put on them saying it's clear they're not a key worker as they're not in uniform. Anyone with an ounce of sense would realise why, at the moment health care workers aren't parading around in their uniforms. And they're not being given the chance to defend or explain themselves, so when they carry on doing it, the anger at their perceived rule breaking increases. If they are reported, and the police do get involved, and then the activity still continues it's all cries of how some people get away with everything and the police are useless.

And then it's how it's approached too, if you go to ask someone with a shitty and judgemental attitude, whether they're breaking the rules or not, you're going to get it back.
If you ask someone about their job, or activity in a civil and decent way, without being a judgemental twat, then you're unlikely to get hostility back.

My view is that people who are doing this sort of thing regularly are too scared to ask - not because of the reaction they may get but because they are well aware that they could be wrong, and be told they're wrong, and then they look bad when their whole aim is to appear morally superior.