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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did Boris Johnson just call us all bad parents?!

528 replies

Hermagsjesty · 24/05/2020 18:30

Having watched that briefing I am incandescent with rage, less at what Cummings did - I understand people might have needed to make difficult choices and compromises during lockdown - but at the excusing of it. Why not admit it was an error of judgement and apologise?

I have three children. When my husband and I both became ill with what we believed to be Coronavirus in mid-March, we took turns to watch the children whilst the other slept. I lay on the sofa, feeling the illest I have ever felt, while CBeebies played on loop. We relied on neighbours we barely knew to drop off essentials. We would have loved to lean on family but we didn’t because we believed to do so would endanger them and the wider community.

A succession of ministers - and now the Primeminister himself - have suggested that Mr. Cummings behaved as any loving parent would. But many loving parents did not behave as he did. We struggled and made sacrifices in what we believed was the National interest. Are they now suggesting we just don’t love our kids as much as Mr. Cummings loves his?

OP posts:
BlackberryCane · 24/05/2020 19:25

Jesus, the Tory voters on this thread love licking the boot. What will it take, BoJo himself spitting in your nanna's face?

They probably think Boris spitting in their nana's faces will own the left. It is excellent watching them all come out with ever more tenuous and pathetic excuses, though. Sometimes you do least damage just not saying anything!

jugglingbeans · 24/05/2020 19:26

*"when both he and his wife were about to be incapacitated by coronavirus".

Humphriescushion · 24/05/2020 19:28

Gove i think said any Caring parent would have done that, so there we go! Crap uncaring parents.

hopelesschildren · 24/05/2020 19:30

Just a question for those who were ill with Covid, and had young children and stayed at home. What would have happened if you needed admission to hospital? Would it not have been better to drive to stay with family??
And no, never voted for Tories.
We don't have any family in this country so was grateful our dc are old enough to be able to look after themselves. I gave them a quick course in how to use the various appliances, where our bankdetails were etc.

PissOffStayAtHomeDogMum · 24/05/2020 19:30

Two things.

  1. It astounds me that anyone wouldn't have done what DC did, if they could. Lots of 'ifs' here, but if XH and I had still been together, and if our DC had been small, and if we had both come down with some hideous illness, then yes we would have broken the lockdown, if we had family who would help (which neither of us has, sadly). Why would anyone do this?
  1. I can, as I have said on other threads, do WTF I like because I'm nothing to do with the government and think the "roolz" are damaging and unnecessary. If I were trying to impose them on other people, though, and were caught out, I would deserve to be kicked out quite unceremoniously.

Why has this not happened to DC?

Boris Johnson is not stupid. Far from it. So he will know how this will go down with the public. However, he is evidently driven by something more important (to him). He also knows, unfortunately rightly, that it will all die away and we will ultimately forget about it.

What a mess.

Eskarina1 · 24/05/2020 19:30

Does anyone else wonder how Cummings predicts the future? We're told it's only that bad in a small percentage of cases. How did he know?

Pacmanitee · 24/05/2020 19:30

What utter nonsense. Everyone has choices and makes them differently. Just because he is saying Cummings "behaved as any parent would", doesnt mean everyone else is a bad parent. He made a choice which was different to yours. End of. He probably questioned what would happen if both him and his wife were seriously ill and the child would then be at risk. He went somewhere where people could check on them.

He made a choice against their own guidance, a choice which many parents believed they didn't have, that they have been guilted into because 'save the NHS'. People have missed close families funerals, not been able to say goodbye, struggled along with balancing working from home with looking after their children, been ill but struggled on, and have not been travelling miles away whilst symptomatic just in case. It's pathetic.

PissOffStayAtHomeDogMum · 24/05/2020 19:32

Why would anyone do this?

I mean "why would anyone NOT do this", obviously.

As for Kinnock: he's an irrelevance, with no influence. Again, I'd have done what he did.

Pacmanitee · 24/05/2020 19:32

Boris Johnson is not stupid. Far from it. So he will know how this will go down with the public. However, he is evidently driven by something more important (to him)

He knows a lot of people will now think fuck it and do what they want, the government will keep lockdown as it is though, and blame people when their goal for herd immunity is pushed forward because it was our own choice.

Experimenopause · 24/05/2020 19:32

Boris is a Fucking moron. Tories should be ashamed of their party right now.

jugglingbeans · 24/05/2020 19:33

"when both he and his wife were about to be incapacitated by coronavirus".

Hindsight is a wonderful thing...or do BJ/DC have a crystal ball?

I'd love to know what DC has got on BJ that BJ feels like he has to support a feckless liar.

PissOffStayAtHomeDogMum · 24/05/2020 19:33

BTW, does this mean the lockdown is now over and we can ignore anything Boris says?

BlackberryCane · 24/05/2020 19:34

It astounds me that anyone wouldn't have done what DC did, if they could. Lots of 'ifs' here, but if XH and I had still been together, and if our DC had been small, and if we had both come down with some hideous illness, then yes we would have broken the lockdown, if we had family who would help (which neither of us has, sadly). Why would anyone do this?

I'm guessing you're not aware they also had family nearby, in London?

bumblingbovine49 · 24/05/2020 19:34

*They were either both too ill to take care of their child properly, in which case neither of them had any business getting behind the wheel of car and driving 200+ miles.

Or at least one of them was well enough to look after the child, or juggle the child between them, in which case they had no need to drive 200+ miles for childcare.*

Absolutely this.

I'm pretty angry with what Cummings did.not just what Boris said.
He is part of a government that decided on the guidelines and rules..They absolutely should be abiding by those rules. It is absolutely not the same if a normal family had done this

celan · 24/05/2020 19:34

Not ashamed of my party, because that implies an ownership which I have never felt, but I will never vote for them again after 25 years of having done so.

DioneTheDiabolist · 24/05/2020 19:35

Only if it is sensible and defensible and you are acting on your instincts.

PissOffStayAtHomeDogMum · 24/05/2020 19:35

@BlackberryCane I am aware of this. I'm also aware that a nice self-contained place in County Durham is probably a bit nicer than having your wife's family deliver groceries to you.

SpokeTooSoon · 24/05/2020 19:37

Oh boo hoo good for you OP. You did what you felt was right for your family and you managed. Others make their own choice. I’m sure we’ve all made decisions during this period that others would question.

My friend washes her shopping before putting it away. She leaves any parcels in her porch for 48 hours before opening them. I don’t. This technically means I am exposing myself, my family and the wider community to greater risk. Are you washing your shopping OP?

We all make our own risk assessment. My feeling is that 1. The majority of Mumsnetters are labour voters and relish any opportunity to bash a Tory. And 2. Some people have isolated themselves so much and sacrificed so much that they are furious if someone else decides to make fewer sacrifices and perhaps have a slightly easier time of it than them. Misery loves company.

itsgettingweird · 24/05/2020 19:37

Ruffle lockdown rules allowed travel to provide essential care. It never said if you think you may need some childcare it's perfectly acceptable to ignore the you MUST stay at home message and travel halfway across the country with covid 19.

slartibarti · 24/05/2020 19:39

Would people feel differently if it turned out that the child had special needs and only certain people could look after him if parents were incapacitated?
We don't have a right to be told every detail of the situation where children are concerned.

teach1066 · 24/05/2020 19:40

See I don’t think people will forget this. This lockdown has totally changed how we live our lives. We have made tremendous sacrifices in terms of our mental health, finances, kids’ education and this is an enormous kick in the teeth for those of us who have played by the rules. For me, Cummings’ trip(s) to Durham WITH THE VIRUS and then his arrogant attitude that ‘I can do what I want and the rules don’t apply to me’ leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

The radio silence on behalf of the Labour Party is interesting- they have obviously realised that the government need no help in digging their own hole......

BlackberryCane · 24/05/2020 19:40

I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt pissoff, rather than assuming you'd willingly expose your 4 year old to several hours at close quarter in a small box with a person who has covid symptoms when you had alternative childcare round the corner. Seems I was too kind.

Although you still don't appear au fait with the story, because the current account is that it's only Cummings' wife who was ill at this time and he wasn't. So not both of them, in fact. If they were both ill, that would mean they thought it was ok to choose drive along a motorway in that state, and fuck the risk to the other drivers.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 24/05/2020 19:41

Regardless of your view of the danger he caused, I think all this shows he's far too stupid to be a senior.government advisor - he signally failed to see either the risk he could cause, or even if he didn't believe in that the risk of getting caught.

No-one so incredibly dense should be advising out government.

MadgeMak · 24/05/2020 19:41

Just a question for those who were ill with Covid, and had young children and stayed at home. What would have happened if you needed admission to hospital? Would it not have been better to drive to stay with family??

I've not been ill with COVID, but should that happen and I needed hospital admission and my husband was also ill I would :

  1. Reach out to friends and family most local to me for help.
  1. If nobody local was able to help I'd ask a family member to travel to us to help
  1. If neither of the above could be achieved I'd ask the hospital to refer me to the appropriate services for help.

It's not that difficult to work out, Cummings went to Durham because he wanted to, not because he needed to.

FizzyGreenWater · 24/05/2020 19:42

Wow even the Torybot rent-apologists are finding this one hard to strawman!