To be a bit miffed my DP is planning to visit his family in Europe

[thinsulation]

DP and I live in Scotland, he wants to travel to France this weekend to stay with his family (and enjoy the nice weather) for up to 3 weeks. I’ve been working from home since the start of quarantine (and have limited contact with people as I’m in a risk category) and am a bit upset because if he leaves I’ll be by myself in the house until he returns/quarantine is lifted.

I’ve said that I won’t be going with him because I don’t think it’s right in the current situation, he’s currently making up his mind what he is going to do. I haven’t told him that I’ll be upset if he decides to go, because I don’t know if I’m BU!

[insideoutsider]

Some people, even though they are surrounded by people they love and that love them, feel incredibly lonely being away from home. I'm away from home and only my children could keep me from going home to my family during this pandemic - and they have because they are young and I'm not taking them travelling!

I know OP is his family too but it's to the point of desperation for some, to just be at home with family to save their mental health. He probably hasn't thought of how impossible it will be and how restricted his movements will be.

[KitchenConfidential]

but he's not being unreasonable to want to go and spend time with his family

He’s not unreasonable to WANT to, but in the middle of a global pandemic he’s VERY unreasonable to do so and leave his vulnerable partner on her own for nearly a month to boot.

[NeutrinoWrangler]

I wouldn't like it, either. My husband's family all live abroad, and unless there were some truly urgent reason he needed to go now (saying goodbye to someone on their deathbed, essentially), I'd be upset if he chose not to delay a visit to a safer time.

It's not unreasonable to tell him how you feel, but he may not be happy to hear it.

[mencken]

stupid bastard alert!

along with all the other reasons, FCO say 'no non essential travel'. That means no travel insurance. So he goes, and he has the kind of accident that can happen to any of us at any time, and he needs a medevac or worse - bye bye house.

[Maduixa]

One other thing to consider - the UK govt had been talking about introducing a 14-day mandatory self-isolation period for anyone coming into/returning to the UK. It's still unclear if they'll even do it - apparently the travel industry has been lobbying against it - but Grant Shapps has said a few days ago that it would (could?) start early June, and it looks like arrivals from France are no longer excluded. So he could find himself required to self-isolate when he comes back, depending on the timing.

My (unofficial) source is here, they've been updating it with info as things change: thepointsguy.co.uk/guide/uk-14-day-isolation-for-travellers/

[Dipi79]

You're not being unreasonable to have these feelings, but he's not being unreasonable to want to go and spend time with his family.

[KitchenConfidential]

www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/france/staying-during-coronavirus

In particular:
Border controls
Since 20 March 2020 entry to France has been limited to those transiting through France, returning French nationals and residents, and a small number of essential travel categories. The full list of categories are found on the international ‘attestation’ available in English. This document needs to be produced for entry, along with any supporting paperwork. If you are entering or transiting through France, you need to have:

an international attestation
a travel declaration to certify your reason for travel if your primary residence is more than 100km from your point of entry
a travel certificate to travel in Île-de-France (Greater Paris) on public transport at peak hours (from 06h30 to 09h30 and from 16h00 to 19h00)
Border checks are also in place on the borders with Italy, Spain, Belgium and Germany.

Certificate requirements for travel within France
If you are returning to your primary residence in France and it is more than 100km from your point of entry, you will need to travel back by the most direct route and complete a travel declaration to certify your reason for travel. This certificate can be downloaded onto smartphones or handwritten if you are unable to access a printer.

If you are currently resident in France, travel within your department of residence or up to 100km from your place of residence is permitted without restrictions. Travel beyond 100km from your place of residence is only permitted for the urgent professional or family reasons listed on the travel declaration. You will need to complete a travel declaration to certify your reason for travelling. This certificate can be downloaded onto smartphones or handwritten if you are unable to access a printer.

To travel in Île-de-France (Greater Paris) on public transport at peak hours (from 06h30 to 09h30 and from 16h00 to 19h00) you will need to complete a travel certificate from your employer to certify your reason for travel. If you are not travelling for work, you will need to self-certify that you are travelling for one of the compelling reasons listed on the certification.

[KitchenConfidential]

Yeah. He’s a selfish twat on many levels.

[Apolloanddaphne]

I don't think he will be able to do this but I can see you would be cross that he is even considering it.

[CocoR]

I'd be pissed off but only because I'd be jealous of not going too.

Will he even be allowed to travel? I'm guessing he can't fly.

[HappyHammy]

uk.ambafrance.org/COVID-19-declaration-for-international-travel

[cooperage]

He'd need to prove valid and imperative reasons for travelling to France I think (with a form, naturally). The border police are true jobsworths too so I'd be surprised if he was merrily waved through on a non-urgent visit to family.

[chrislilleyswig]

It's not essential travel.

Of course he shouldn't go

[HappyHammy]

How will he get there and back and where would he stay.

[SVRT19674]

Well I hope it isnt like in Spain because he could lose the money for the flight. Smartasses travelling with no valid reason within the country stopped at an airport arrivals and sent back where they came from when they couldnt justify the trip. Serve them right.

[vanillandhoney]

How is he planning to get into France?

[BumbleBeee69]

what a Twat... you're right to be anxious OP

[Jokie]

Thinsulation: he'll struggle to get there if his family live more than 100km from the airport and he's not got a "valid reason" to go (e.g. family sickness, urgent matter etc). Friends of mine in France are struggling to move around as it is.

I'm sure it's hard being away from family but he can't get there at the moment safely, so shouldn't go.

[thinsulation]

Sorry TheOriginalChatelaine, I have no idea about what the surgeries are doing in France. All the best though.
And thanks for that Newtb, I have no idea how he’s planning on getting into and then out of France, but he believes he won’t have any issues (and Sod’s law is that he probably won’t!). Thanks everyone.

[Pineappleunder]

@TheOriginalChatelaine
I went to the dentist for a routine appointment this morning so I would imagine so.
However travel in France is still restricted to under 100km from your home and holidays are not yet allowed.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

I didn't know the details but did know France had a strict policy.

[newtb]

Travel only allowed up to 100km in France. Over that needs to be justifiable to the gendarmerie and to have an attestation.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

How is he getting there? Travel abroad is still restricted isn't it?

What a very strange decision to make

[hellsbellsmelons]

talking about my personal feelings is something I’ve been trying to work on
Please do a lot of work on this.
YOU are the most important person.
What YOU want is very very important.
Your needs should be met as well as you pleasing others.
It will get easier the more you do it.
But definitely let him know how this is making you feel.
And also... Sn0tnose has some very valid points!!

[SpillTheTeaa]

He's being very very unfair