Because I have changed my mind about buying a house.

[obimomkanobi]

This is all a bit of a mess. My MIL and her sister were left a house and they put it on the market. It didn't sell so they offered it to me and my DH at a reduced price. (they were going to send it to auction at a reduced price for a quick sale)

I was a bit unsure about whether to buy the house, it is small and I don't like the area and it needs a lot of stuff doing to it. But I got swept along by the whole 'this is your only chance to get on the property ladder' stuff and my DH was really enthusiastic about it.

It's been a fecking nightmare, it's been a really slow process and my MIL and her sister have been on my back for the whole time because they want their dosh.

Saving up for the various fee's has been really hard and I have been stressed to the very max trying to ensure that our bills are covered and that we can save enough to pay the stamp duty etc.

We have been told that the formal mortgage offer will be out next week, and I have realised that I don't want to move.

First of all my DH has had a nice pay rise, if we move then the mortgage will absorb all that. If we stay we can save it.

The house needs a lot of stuff doing to it. I can't see how we can afford it.

We are pretty secure where we are, and I don't think that now is a good time to commit to a big mortgage.

And then there are the emotional reasons, I have friends here, the kids are happy at their school, I've started and evening class...

The thought of moving makes me depressed. And I don't think that you are supposed to feel that way about buying your first house.

I want to wait, save money andd buy a house when I want to and where I want to. I feel like this has been forced upon me. And if I pull out then my in-laws will be pissed off with me for messing them about.

I haven't spoken to DH about how I feel yet, I wasn't sure if I was being stupid or not.

All opinions gratefully received.

[claricebeansmum]

It is hard when you get swept along with everyone else - because everyone else can see the good side you think...well it must be good.

I think you need to sit down with DH and go through the finer points of your finances if you move or if you stay

And you also need to let him know exactly how you feel - schools, friends etc

Is it a long way away - will the children have to move school?

[obimomkanobi]

It's a fair way away, and the kids will have to change school.

I'm going to talk to DH tonight, which will be fun!

[Kevlarhead]

'nuff said

[Isababel]

The thing with getting into the property ladder is about being able to sell for a profit, if doing up this house and the mortgage is going to eat most of your money and possibly getting you in debt, you hate the area and you have to uproot your family, I don't think it's such a wise investment. More so with the news about mortgage interest rates today.

I wouldn't move, but I would understand everybody getting mad at me for changing my mind well into the process (if that is the case).

[Earlybird]

Why do you think the house didn't sell initially? Would the house make a reasonable rental property?

What I'm getting at - would it be feasible to continue with the purchase, rent the house out (as long as the rent could cover the mortgage costs), and continue living where you are? If that is workable, you could proceed without letting everyone down, get a foot on the housing ladder, and stay where you are.

[tribpot]

Earlybird, I think you're right in that they should explore that option but they'd still need to get it done up to rent it. And unless they had a substantial sum to put down the mortgage will almost certainly be higher than the rent. Plus they would need to be able to cope with the potential voids between tenancy, when they'd be having to cover the mortgage themselves. It's risky.

obimomkanobi, there doesn't seem to be anything positive about you moving, except it keeps your in-laws happy. If they want a quick sale, let them send it to auction. There's no way I would move in the circumstances you describe.

[alicet]

I don't think you are being unreasonable although I think your in laws will!

However, while you may have messed them around but they were having problems selling in the first place so you were actually doing them a favour in the first place. Plus house moves fall through all the time for all sorts of reasons. And they are no worse off if you pull out if the house wasn't selling anyway.

I certainly don't think you should be uprooting your life to this extent as well as stretching your finances for a move that isn't right.

Did you chat to your dh last night? What did he say?

[ninedragons]

It sounds like your reasons for not wanting to move into this house are all well thought-out and perfectly clear.

Your ILs might have their noses out of joint for a little while, but they'll get over it quicker than you will if you're paying a 25-year mortgage on a place you hate. TBH it sounds like your husband's excitement is just this-is-our-only-ever-chance-to-get-on-the-ladder panic, and not as rational or realistic as your thoughts about the move.

If you explain it to your MIL that you're very, very sorry but you got swept up in the initial excitement but in the cold light of day it's become clear that you would be overcommitting yourself to accept her exceptionally kind offer, I can't see how she could do anything but thank her lucky stars her son married someone so prudent and cool-headed.