Blu3b3ll84 · 21/12/2019 21:28
Hi, this is my first time posting but I really feel I need to vent!
I have 2 children, one from a previous relationship and one with my current partner. I am finding my partner’s mum increasingly difficult.
My youngest is her only grandchild, although she has always treated my older child like a grandchild too, which is great. She spoils the children terribly which I have come to accept but something has really irritated me today and I don’t know if i’m being unreasonable.
She has bought my children Christmas presents from each other for each other. My children are 1 and 8. My 8 year old has already chosen a present for her brother. Obviously the 1 year old is too young to choose a present for his sister but I feel this is a thing for my partner and I to do as their parents. My partner’s opinion is that his mum has saved us a job but it’s left me feeling very angry.
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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GlummyMcGlummerson · 21/12/2019 21:36
My mum does this and I find it weird. She also does some from me to the kids and vice versa. You'll be told it is innocent and sweet but if your MIL is anything like my mum (and she may not be) it is about control or power...no one knows my mum, or your MIL, on here so they can't tell you if that's the case. But it's up to yourself to judge. I know my mum and it's 100% about having a control in my life
WorraLiberty · 21/12/2019 21:36
I'm not sure really because I think buying gifts 'from siblings' is a bit odd anyway, so I can't decide.
Mine waited until they were old enough to get and spend pocket money on gifts, if they chose to do so.
Before that, they'd make each other Christmas cards.
PositiveVibez · 21/12/2019 21:38
I'd let it go. It sounds like she is being really nice if a little bit off the mark. It's lovely that she has taken your eldest in as a grandchild.
Some of the horror stories you real in here about in laws treating non biological kids as outsiders are horrific.
I'd definitely let this one go.
BackforGood · 21/12/2019 21:52
"Angry" seems a strong word.
A lot of people would be quite jealous that she has "adopted" your older dc as if she were her grandchild and is treating them the same.
I mean, personally I've always thought it odd to buy something for a person and pretend a baby has bought it, when clearly they can't - but that is just one of those things you come to realise, as you meet more people, that families do things differently.
YABU 'venting' and 'being angry' about being lucky enough to have met a man whose family have welcomed your older child so wonderfully.
Lulualla · 21/12/2019 21:55
IRS her first grandchild. Some people struggle to realise the difference between being the parent and being the grandparent. She is doing what she did with her job kids, without actually realising that you are the parents so now it is your turn.
Just tell her you really appreciate the thought, but your son has already chosen the present for his brother, and its really for you to do and not for her so could she please not do that again.
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