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To consider quitting my awful job and take a sabbatical

47 replies

julieande · 18/12/2019 17:12

Hi all, long time user but first time poster. I'd love to hear some opinions on my potential plan.

I am a 45 years old, soon to be divorced mother of 2 (6 and 10 years old). STBX and I split a year ago, amicable divorce and we coparent 50/50 now. STBX earns 4 times my very average salary.

I have been working for the same company for a long time in an admin role and I am absolutely sick of it. I hate my manager, I hate most of my colleagues, I hate sitting in an office all day long. I feel like I am wasting my life doing a job I have no interest nor passion for anymore. I want to quit, take some time off to spend with my DC and then retrain in a different career (not sure what yet).

Recently STBX and I sold a property we bought 20 years ago and we split the money, which means I now have over £200k in the bank. On top of that, I live in a country where I would get 80% of my salary for 2 years as unemployment benefits. That income plus my own money in the bank would give me ample time to explore other career options and retrain in something else, while still providing for my DC. My rent is pretty low, as are most of my living expenses. I calculated I could easily survive for at least 5 years before running out of money.

Am I totally mad for considering this? I spoke to STBX and he says it is my choice and he wouldn't have a problem with it.

OP posts:

BellsAJingleTheRoastedChestnut · 18/12/2019 17:15

I wouldn't quit until you have a plan. Saying that as someone who is a former admin worker, currently a SAHP and trying to find my way back into work! At 40, if you've been working for a long time though, you probably have a lot more experience than I do, so maybe you wouldn't struggle as I have.

FWIW, I want to retain as a HCP.


NoHummus · 18/12/2019 17:22

In your situation I would do this in a heartbeat. Good luck!


sandragreen · 18/12/2019 17:27

Go for it!


Aliensrus · 18/12/2019 17:28

Do it, you only have one life


Suomynona · 18/12/2019 17:31

Sounds like a good position to be in, but do you have pension provision? That 200k might be needed later on? Good luck whatever you decide Smile.


NurseButtercup · 18/12/2019 17:37

Do it do it do it. My only advice is to make a plan (retrain) to rejoin the rat race in a career with a higher salary potential, so that you can afford to put more into your pension.


DeeZastris · 18/12/2019 17:38

In your situation I would.
Use some of your savings to retrain/start a business.


lanthanum · 18/12/2019 17:39

Do the benefits still apply if you have voluntarily quit your job?


julieande · 18/12/2019 17:41

Ianthanum yes they still apply, the only difference is you need to wait 2 or 3 months before getting the money if you left voluntarily.

OP posts:

EagleVisionSquirrelWork · 18/12/2019 17:42

I would do it without hesitation and I wish you luck.

I live in a country where I would get 80% of my salary for 2 years as unemployment benefits.

Am I the only one who's dying to know where OP is?


Craftylittlething · 18/12/2019 17:43

Life is too short to be in a job that makes you miserable, you’re not going to starve. Enjoy the time with your kids and go do something that makes you happy. Security can sometimes be nothing more than a ball and chain.


Holdingtherope · 18/12/2019 17:45

I would hazard a guess at Denmark?!!


Khione · 18/12/2019 17:48

Go for it


magicmallow · 18/12/2019 17:49

Just do it!! You will be so glad you did, when you do!


weaselwords · 18/12/2019 17:57

Do it!


notnowmaybelater · 18/12/2019 17:57

If you resign rather than are made redundant won't you have a 12 week disqualification period before you can claim?

I agree with others that it might be a great idea to take a sabbatical and retrain - you still have up to 28 working years left if you choose to find a job you live and keep working rather than plough through hoping to retire early (either way is a gamble with pros and cons, I always think of the people I know who died unexpectedly shortly before retirement Sad as an excellent reason not to be miserable in your 40s hoping to get your reward in slightly earlier retirement, but then if retraining doesn't make you happy you might be wishing that you had invested the 200k for an early retirement in 20 years time...)

However I also agree that you should decide on a plan before resigning, so as not to feel you've wasted the time faffing and end up picking something at random in fear the money will run out, and giving up on the retraining half way through or not being any happier.

Areyou going to be retraining in your second language? It can be mind bendingly hard to do this especially while parenting fairly young children if it's a language you've learnt as a mature adult rather than one you've used in an educational context in your late teens and twenties... I'm almost finished doing exactly this and feel like giving up every single day - I'm only taking a degree-apprenticeship but it's far harder than doing my masters in my native language while working 50 hour weeks was in my 20s.


CalamityJune · 18/12/2019 17:58

No, I would look for a course to retrain in another industry and look to go part time while I studied or if that weren't possible, leave work to study full time.

I would not want to just pack in work just because I didn't like it.


JKScot4 · 18/12/2019 17:59

£200k Id think would disqualify you from benefits surely?


Bloke23 · 18/12/2019 18:01

Do it, i would do it in a heart beat, dont listen to the jobsworth above me


notnowmaybelater · 18/12/2019 18:01

Sorry cross posted about the 12 weeks.

I think you're in the same country as me.

The language question would be my main point. If, like me, you learnt the language as a mature adult don't underestimate how much harder retraining in your second adult acquired language is in combination with having school age children than any degrees you did in your native language before you became a parent. It's a very specific situation!


julieande · 18/12/2019 18:02

Yes I would have a 3 months disqualification period before getting unemployment due to quitting instead of being terminated, but the £200k would not have an impact on my claim.

OP posts:

dottiedodah · 18/12/2019 18:02

I would look into this carefully first .If all looks OK then go for it ! Make triple sure the benefits would still apply, if you have a large sum in the bank though .Here in UK no benefits if you have over 16k in the bank!


jakeyboy1 · 18/12/2019 18:03

I'm so jealous. I feel much the same but sadly don't have £200k in the bank. Do it for me!


Towrl · 18/12/2019 18:03

Why not buy a property to live on instead of renting.


julieande · 18/12/2019 18:04

Notnow I think I would retrain in English and spend time improving my fluency in the local language.

OP posts:
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