AIBU?
To consider quitting my awful job and take a sabbatical
julieande · 18/12/2019 17:12
Hi all, long time user but first time poster. I'd love to hear some opinions on my potential plan.
I am a 45 years old, soon to be divorced mother of 2 (6 and 10 years old). STBX and I split a year ago, amicable divorce and we coparent 50/50 now. STBX earns 4 times my very average salary.
I have been working for the same company for a long time in an admin role and I am absolutely sick of it. I hate my manager, I hate most of my colleagues, I hate sitting in an office all day long. I feel like I am wasting my life doing a job I have no interest nor passion for anymore. I want to quit, take some time off to spend with my DC and then retrain in a different career (not sure what yet).
Recently STBX and I sold a property we bought 20 years ago and we split the money, which means I now have over £200k in the bank. On top of that, I live in a country where I would get 80% of my salary for 2 years as unemployment benefits. That income plus my own money in the bank would give me ample time to explore other career options and retrain in something else, while still providing for my DC. My rent is pretty low, as are most of my living expenses. I calculated I could easily survive for at least 5 years before running out of money.
Am I totally mad for considering this? I spoke to STBX and he says it is my choice and he wouldn't have a problem with it.
BellsAJingleTheRoastedChestnut · 18/12/2019 17:15
I wouldn't quit until you have a plan. Saying that as someone who is a former admin worker, currently a SAHP and trying to find my way back into work! At 40, if you've been working for a long time though, you probably have a lot more experience than I do, so maybe you wouldn't struggle as I have.
FWIW, I want to retain as a HCP.
.notnowmaybelater · 18/12/2019 17:57
If you resign rather than are made redundant won't you have a 12 week disqualification period before you can claim?
I agree with others that it might be a great idea to take a sabbatical and retrain - you still have up to 28 working years left if you choose to find a job you live and keep working rather than plough through hoping to retire early (either way is a gamble with pros and cons, I always think of the people I know who died unexpectedly shortly before retirement 
as an excellent reason not to be miserable in your 40s hoping to get your reward in slightly earlier retirement, but then if retraining doesn't make you happy you might be wishing that you had invested the 200k for an early retirement in 20 years time...)
However I also agree that you should decide on a plan before resigning, so as not to feel you've wasted the time faffing and end up picking something at random in fear the money will run out, and giving up on the retraining half way through or not being any happier.
Areyou going to be retraining in your second language? It can be mind bendingly hard to do this especially while parenting fairly young children if it's a language you've learnt as a mature adult rather than one you've used in an educational context in your late teens and twenties... I'm almost finished doing exactly this and feel like giving up every single day - I'm only taking a degree-apprenticeship but it's far harder than doing my masters in my native language while working 50 hour weeks was in my 20s.
notnowmaybelater · 18/12/2019 18:01
Sorry cross posted about the 12 weeks.
I think you're in the same country as me.
The language question would be my main point. If, like me, you learnt the language as a mature adult don't underestimate how much harder retraining in your second adult acquired language is in combination with having school age children than any degrees you did in your native language before you became a parent. It's a very specific situation!
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