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To feel like this might not be me not coping?

11 replies

dontcallmeduck · 16/11/2019 16:49

I’ve been in the same job for 4 years, had a total of 4 managers in that time and never had any issues until the last few months when new manager started. I’ve always met targets, been organised and received really good feedback from managers, clients and colleagues. I’ve been regarded by previous managers as one of the most reliable team members for meeting targets, attending meetings etc.

So 6 months ago the whole teams workload massively increased (by about 40%) so we are all struggling. When I talk to individual staff in ours and other departments everyone is unhappy and struggling with the new systems which have increased workload. The company currently has 10% of staff off with work related stress.

The last 4 months I’ve been getting quite anxious and am embarrassed to say I’ve been getting upset in my feedback meetings. Previous manager was really understanding, supportive and stated they are aware that current workload is Unmanageable and that everyone is feeling the same. This made me feel better although still stressed as I have always performed well.

He went off sick with work related stress for above reasons and his replacement is not so understanding. In one breath she says I’m excellent at my job and my quality of work is excellent. The next she says I may need to go on performance management as I’m not meeting targets and others are. She’s pushing me to look for other jobs. I’ve been told to prioritise better ( I asked her what I should stop doing to meet targets but she couldn’t answer), I’ve been told others are managing but they’re saying they’re not and feel on the brink of going off with stress. Her manager reiterated that expectations are unrealistic and staff are struggling.

I could go for other jobs but other than new manager I love my team.

I dread going to work, get myself ok by Monday and am usually in tears on Friday. I’ve been working until 9 most nights this week thinking if I get straight I’ll feel better but it’s never ending. I feel like I’m being forced out and don’t know how long I can be continue.

OP posts:

dontcallmeduck · 16/11/2019 16:57

I do know I’m not coping by the way, I mean that it’s not just me and that I shouldn’t be being threatened with performance management.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 16/11/2019 16:59

Are you a union member?

If so, I'd have a word with the rep. If not, I'd join one quickly.


Snowy111 · 16/11/2019 17:03

I was in a similar position but didn’t want to go off sick. I think I had a legitimate grievance but didn’t have the confidence to go down that route either. I was lucky enough to find a new job elsewhere.

I wish I’d taken it further as my employer was completely unreasonable (and sounds like yours is too) - still feel bitter about it


WorldEndingFire · 16/11/2019 18:06

Yes, please join a union tonight and speak to your rep ASAP if you're already in one!

You can get recommendations for the right union for your industry here:

No need to suffer alone. You will always have support in the union, as well as access to free advice and legal support should you ever require it. Lots of other benefits and discounts for useful services too.


slipperywhensparticus · 16/11/2019 18:09

Go off sick with work related stress cite lack of supportive management?

As a last resort obviously because you cant work till 9pm every night I'm assuming your not being paid till 9pm?


dontcallmeduck · 16/11/2019 18:29

I am in a union. She’s very very nice at times then comes out with conflicting things but I’ve noticed she never documents it on records of our discussions. She’s told me she may think about referring for emotional support through occupational health but I’m fine out of work, it’s only at work. And only around her that I actually become upset.

OP posts:

dontcallmeduck · 16/11/2019 18:29

And no absolutely not being paid overtime.

OP posts:

ScabbyBabby · 16/11/2019 18:40

You need to refuse to sign documents of meetings if they’re not recorded accurately

You can ask for amendments before signing


WorldEndingFire · 16/11/2019 19:28

Don't attend any meetings or sign anything without your rep and get some legal advice from your union tomorrow.


Eckhart · 16/11/2019 19:41

I've been where you are. I asked for a meeting with the offending supervisor's manager. The very simple decision the manager made was that I was to minute my supervisor meetings, rather than the supervisor do it. It was great to sit there afterwards with a clipboard and pen, waiting for her to try to bully me. She didn't. I did end up leaving the job though because her attitude spoilt the previously lovely atmosphere in the whole office. I pulled no punches in my exit interview, or in my official complaint against her.

She's been promoted several times since I left.

It may be worth considering another job, OP. I never thought I'd find such a lovely place to work in again, but I have. It's totally do-able. Especially with all that experience you've gained.

Keep your dignity. Flowers


dontcallmeduck · 16/11/2019 20:08

I’m keeping my own records. I wonder whether to go for another job and let loose in my exit interview.

OP posts:
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