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To not let someone stay in my house/bed

22 replies

HauntedmessFrogbeaver · 11/11/2019 01:50

I'm going away for a few days and a friend not the closest friend ever has asked if she can stay at my house for a couple of nights for a break.

She just lives around the corner! Literally 5 minutes away.

She has one grown up child who is out most of the time and a DP who has his own flat that she can go to.

Don't you think this is an odd request? I don't like the thought of someone sleeping in my bed (apart from DH Wink) so sort of mumbled that as a reason to say no.

Just felt like a weird request. She's been a bit grumpy at my no.

AIBU to say no?

OP posts:

HauntedmessFrogbeaver · 11/11/2019 01:52

Just to be clear, her DD is away staying elsewhere a lot so she has plenty of alone time.

OP posts:

9Greenbottles · 11/11/2019 01:54

I'd consider that very odd.


Justmuddlingalong · 11/11/2019 02:00

If she's so oblivious that her request is odd, she'll have no shame in pushing it. Stick to your guns. You're not being weird, she is.


Motoko · 11/11/2019 02:16

No, it IS a really odd request. Maybe she wants to be nosy, and rummage through your stuff!

I would have said no too.


PenelopeFlintstone · 11/11/2019 02:27

I'd say she wants to hide from the world for a little bit.


PenelopeFlintstone · 11/11/2019 02:27

Should have added: Fair enough that you don't want to, though.


CeridwenTheWitch · 11/11/2019 02:45

I would feel weird about it too, it's about boundaries. You know someone has reached or crossed a boundary when you feel uncomfortable, and you did the right thing in protecting your boundary by saying no.

Whenever I've said yes to things that I wanted to say no to because they made me feel uncomfortable, I regretted it.

I've had people offer for me to stay in their places while they're away (for example so I can visit their city) but it's never the kind of thing I'd ask to do, it would seem pretty cheeky to me. I've also always said no, because I'd feel weird staying in someone's house when they're not there.


AwkwardFucker · 11/11/2019 03:01

That is extremely odd.

I love being at home, sleeping in my own bed, pottering around doing my own shit.. who the fuck would want to stay at someone else’s house for no valid reason?! I imagine I’d feel most awkward and uncomfortable staying in someone else’s home when they’re not there, if I only lived 5 mins down the road.

How fucking odd.


Mummyoflittledragon · 11/11/2019 03:05

I agree that’s odd. The only legitimate reason I can come up with is that she wants to hide from her p if he is not so d and actually abusive. Other than that, I’m stumped. Maybe you could have a chat with her about it?


BillHadersNewWife · 11/11/2019 03:23

Very weird of her. Say no. Make sure she can't get in sneakily either. She sounds strange.


MaybeitsMaybelline · 11/11/2019 03:33

Absolutely not. Yanbu. I would probably have laughed awkwardly and said something about her going a bit further away for a holiday.


Apolloanddaphne · 11/11/2019 03:34

Seems like a very odd request. Do you have a very lovely house compared with hers?


naartopsy · 11/11/2019 04:05

Does she do MLM?

Only asking because something very similar happened to me. I'm basically well-known as the friend who refuses to sign up for Facebook and Instagram, and one day, just before I was about to go on a work trip overseas, this "friend" heavily hinted/suggested that she'd like to stay at my place. I agreed since I trusted her (perhaps naïvely) anyway.

Came back, house was just as I'd left it, which is great. Couple of weeks later, I learnt from another mutual friend that my house and some of my stuff (clothes/bags/etc) has been plastered all over her Instagram as things she'd bought thanks to her bloody MLM scheme!! Ridiculous.


BlackCatSleeping · 11/11/2019 04:22

Just say no. Maybe she sees it as a bit of a holiday or maybe she wants to rummage or get up to no good. It really doesn't matter.


Aquamarine1029 · 11/11/2019 04:25

The answer is a clear and loud NO. What a ridiculous and inappropriate ask.


QuiteForgetful · 11/11/2019 04:27

She may want to have a rendezvous with a secret lover.


Antigon · 11/11/2019 07:43

No way, glad you said no. She has a perfectly good almost empty home.


HauntedmessFrogbeaver · 11/11/2019 08:00

What I can't get my head around, is why? Surely if it was to accommodate an affair she could do it at home?

OP posts:

QuiteForgetful · 13/11/2019 21:16

Maybe they have cctv, or family living on the street or just feels it would be disrespectful to have a hook up in her home? Maybe it is to show her partner he will miss her if she is gone? I would ask her why, and try to find out if she needs help, perhaps her spouse is cruel to her?


AnneLovesGilbert · 13/11/2019 21:19

Did you ask her why?


1Morewineplease · 13/11/2019 21:27

I’d say know as I wouldn’t like someone sleeping in my bed and be able to poke their nose where they please.
If your friend just needs a change of four walls ( which it sounds like) she could easily rent an air b’n’b nearby.
A very strange request.


BlueLadybird · 13/11/2019 21:29

I am happy for friends to stay in my house when I’m away. But I would find that odd. And more importantly if you don’t want her to just say no.

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