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AIBU?

To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing

335 replies

Forthepurposesofthetape · 11/04/2019 08:33

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel! Angry

OP posts:
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Hearthside · 15/04/2019 13:11

Formerbabe when i say fad i mean as it regret having done so young because for example all your friends were .I don't mean it as in a passing fad .

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Jasmineallenestate · 15/04/2019 10:51

Psychological assessment for ear correction Confused what a load of nonsense. My kid had ears age 6 as soon as the cartilage was hard enough. Didn't ask the NHS though obvs, wanted to avoid infection and MRSA.

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TrixieFranklin · 15/04/2019 10:41

Otoplasty isn't offered for children under 5, their little ears are still developing. It costs around £3k and is only available on the NHS in exceptional circumstances.

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SimonJT · 15/04/2019 10:34

The NHS doesn’t generally pin pack childrens ears, my ex had his done (just his left ear) as an adult and he had to go through a psychological screening to make sure he was fit to have a cosmetic procedure. Although it was clearly of no use as he had his done due to piss taking in the press.

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formerbabe · 15/04/2019 10:27

What about children who have their ears pinned back? That is mainly for aesthetic reasons but parents consent for their children to undergo that procedure.

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Raspberry88 · 15/04/2019 10:26

is just ingrained in us and there is no longer a need for a reason. It's like how people wear clothes in the summer in the UK. Why? Are you cold? Afraid of body parts? When did the practice begin?

Also, to come back to this as it's bothering me. It's so important to constantly question and examine traditions. Asking why is a part of that. 'It's just what we do' isn't good enough, otherwise we would never have moved on from so many practices.
The example of clothes isn't a good one. There are so many reasons why we wear clothes in the summer. The weather is often not that warm and can be changeable, skin needs protecting from sunburn, for hygiene reasons etc etc.

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GirlRaisedInTheSouth · 15/04/2019 10:24

It’s chavvy and cruel Sad.

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formerbabe · 15/04/2019 10:10

My parents didn't allow me to have my ears pierced as a child. Age about 10, I absolutely begged them. Looking back, I think they were ridiculous. I got them done as an adult...far too late and a faff. It would have made me really happy to have had them done when I wanted them. Vast majority of adult women in the uk have them pierced, so it's hardly a fad.

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Hearthside · 15/04/2019 10:05

My DF would not let me and my DS get our ears pierced until we were in our teen's .At time i thought he was mean but looking back now i totally agree with him .His concern was we would do it as a fad and not look after them properly. My two DS one 10 and one nearly 13 haven't asked yet and i have not suggested it .On babies 😡 i think it is cruel it hurts and they can't consent which yes you are their parent's but they haven't asked to have it done in my eyes that is plain wrong .

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formerbabe · 15/04/2019 09:54

Although, her reason for wanting them done wasn't primarily to be cool or to fit in..I was just explaining my reasoning as like I said, I'm in theory, not in favour of ear piercing on children.

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formerbabe · 15/04/2019 09:44

Vulpine

I would never let my kids get their ears pierced just to be 'one of the cool ones' and give them status

Good for you. You have no idea how important it is for children who stand out as different for whatever reason to feel like they fit in and are one of the cool group. I weighed up all the options and my views (generally dislike ear piercing in children) and decided it would be ok. It wasn't my idea. She suggested it first.

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Pinkyyy · 15/04/2019 07:56

@Raspberry88 no I really don't think that saying 'get over yourself' is something to get worked up about.

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Vulpine · 15/04/2019 07:39

I would never let my kids get their ears pierced just to be 'one of the cool ones' and give them status.

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Madmarchpear · 15/04/2019 07:36

There are plenty of cultural practices that should be consigned to the past now that we are better informed and generally treat children with greater respect. I'm sorry but I think urgh whenever I see a child under 10 with them.

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TrixieFranklin · 15/04/2019 07:25

It's not a non issue to many, over 80,000 people in the U.K. signed a single petition on it last year alone.

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snitzelvoncrumb · 15/04/2019 07:24

I think 5 or 6 is about right. If you make them wait too long they will just pierce their own ears.

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Jasmineallenestate · 15/04/2019 07:19

Everyone is being rude. It is because it is a non issue. It's a joke thread.

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Raspberry88 · 15/04/2019 07:06

I'm purely saying that it's really not a big issue at all for someone to remove their earrings and forget they were ever pierced.

No, you've been extremely rude to someone who has told us how she feels about her body. Telling someone to 'get over themselves' is pretty horrid don't you think.

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Raspberry88 · 15/04/2019 07:04

Firstly, a lot of people in the UK believe THEIR way is THE way. Only the cultural practices THEY approve are the only acceptable ones.

This is what I don't think you understand. To me this has nothing to do with culture...I cannot object to people piercing ears for vanity reasons but say that I believe it's acceptable for cultural reasons because that would make me a hypocrite. It's all the same to the baby. I'm not talking about insisting that all the world conforms to my particular standards but I am perfectly allowed to say that I dislike it and also to call for greater regulation in this country, which is what the petition upthread and thread is about.

Oh and about consent - please, good parents do all sorts of things to / with their children without consent. Wasn't there something about how we need consent from our babies before changing their nappies?

All the things that we have to do for our children are essential. We cannot leave babies in dirty nappies. We have to clean them and brush their teeth. Their vaccinations are to protect their health and keep them safe.

(It's interesting that you talk about people in the UK thinking that their culture is superior...your post reads as if you think your culture is superior to the UK. )

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insideoutsider · 15/04/2019 06:51

@TapasForTwo, if a man from outside showed up, he would be treated very differently anyway because he is a guest. We usually treat foreigners as such and don't really expect them to fall in line with our norms. In fact, if my cousins went home with earrings, my aunty would have to laugh (to others) and say "oh, they are from abroad' or something.

Having said that, with westernization, people do all sorts now, so a man turning up with earrings probably won't be the end of the world. It would just mean you disrespect your family and culture - something many of our men don't really like to do.

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zoepn · 14/04/2019 23:36

That being said, I’m not particularly fussed if other people choose to get their child’s ears pierced. I do think it looks sweet on girls and I’ve never known anyone wish their parents hadn’t done it for them, it’s certainly not the worst thing to be done. Just personally it’s not something I’ll be doing for my own!

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zoepn · 14/04/2019 23:32

I personally wouldn’t do it as I’d be so afraid of the child catching and ripping their earring before they were old enough to be aware and careful of it. Also, it’s much better to get piercings done with a needle but as no reputable professional piercer will usually do a young child’s ears, they’re usually done somewhere like the chain you mentioned with a gun, which is not good for the ear!! It causes trauma to the tissue. They always seem to be wonky and off centred too as children wriggle getting them done!
It definitely is a cultural thing and the norm for many, but I don’t see the need for it and would prefer my child to decide when and if they wanted them.
& earrings are not the only identifying factor of a baby’s gender! Who cares if a stranger mistakes your girl for a boy anyway 😂

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Lazydaisies · 14/04/2019 23:32

Most girls get them done here between 6-8 for their communion (again which most girls make) it is not something I give much thought too. Not too gone on babies with earrings, my friend is Spanish and showed a picture of her niece with them done aged 5 days. I guess that seemed as weird to me as it must seem to you guys getting them done from 6-8.

I was really surprised in Asia to see small baby boys with their ears pierced but again it is a cultural norm in some places there for boys. Just not something I can frith over. There is so much worse going on in the world from my perspective.

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DrBuckles · 14/04/2019 23:19

I had mine done when I was 10 months (cultural in our family)- I literally don’t care- it handy that they are so long ago that I can go ages without earrings and they are still ok. I like wearing earrings and I respect why my mum did it.

However I was quite worried when I was pregnant that if I had girls my family would expect one thing but my dh would expect another. I had 2 boys so that didn’t arise.

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TapasForTwo · 14/04/2019 23:16

Thank you @insideoutsider
If a man not from your culture (and completely unaware of the implications of being a male with pierced ears) visited your home country with pierced ears would he be treated differently?

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