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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking kids out of school for hols - unauthorised absence or ring in sick

115 replies

SPARKLYSTARSHINESBRIGHT · 30/03/2019 22:13

So we have a holiday coming up which will require primary DD10 and secondary DS14 misssing the last day of term at Easter. DD hasn't missed a day this year, DS has missed about 4 registrations due to dentist appointments.
Should I ask for permission to take them out, (unauthorised absence) and risk a fine or should I ring them in sick on the last day. Do schools actually prefer you to ring them in sick as the figures look better than unauthorised absences? I've never taken them out before.

OP posts:
OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 31/03/2019 16:07

continuallychargingmyphone Because I object to being lied to to my face and being taken for a fool.
I was particularly pissed off about it last year, when I was told by a parent that her mother was in the last stages of cancer and she was taking the child to visit to say her goodbyes. I sympathised hugely, and we had what I thought was an honest conversation about it, as I had just lost my own mother to the same thing.
Turns out it was all a lie, and they went to the Canary Islands for the week.

continuallychargingmyphone · 31/03/2019 16:17

That is different to ‘X has a virus and won’t be in today’ and you know it is.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 31/03/2019 16:53

You think we don't get that all the time too? I object to those lies too. I don't want to collude with what I know to be untrue.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 31/03/2019 16:56

I have, in the past, asked a parent if they had a nice time when I knew they'd gone away but lied about it. They visibly squirmed.

continuallychargingmyphone · 31/03/2019 16:56

But it has nothing to do with you.

TSSDNCOP · 31/03/2019 17:06

But it has nothing to do with you.

I disagree. Taking kids out of class means they may miss an important lesson. It may encourage other parents to do likewise. It’s disruptive to the other kids if ground already covered has to be gone over again by the teacher because Kevin’s mum took him to Tenerife.

To tell a bare-faced, easily identifiable fib just implies you think the teacher is a twit who can’t tell when you’re lying.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 31/03/2019 17:25

continuallychargingmyphone I wonder if you're being deliberately obtuse here?

Anyway, what TSS said. Except we don't go over what Kevin will have missed. It is written in their exercise book that they missed, say, 12/24 hour clock, due to holiday.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 31/03/2019 17:28

To tell a bare-faced, easily identifiable fib just implies you think the teacher is a twit who can’t tell when you’re lying.

Exactly, which is why I chose to call someone out on it once. I will not be made a fool of. If you want to go off on holiday in term-time, then as I said up-thread, fine. But don't expect me to go along with what we both know is a lie. Or take time out of my lunch-hour (haha!) to go over missed work with your child.

Barbie222 · 31/03/2019 17:29

It is unlikely but possible you will be fined for a day. In my experience the vast majority of primary children let the cat out of the bag - even the ones that you think would be bombproof!

continuallychargingmyphone · 31/03/2019 17:33

I’m not being deliberately obtuse at all. If a parent calls in to say their child is ill, then they don’t speak to you, do they? Smile

So I don’t honestly see why it needs a further conversation.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 31/03/2019 17:44

then they don’t speak to you, do they?

Well, clearly, on occasion, they do, otherwise I wouldn't have recounted what I just did!

continuallychargingmyphone · 31/03/2019 17:48

But that is because you are asking them - if it annoys you, don’t ask them about their illness. I never asked children about illnesses, or parents. All you need to say is ‘nice to see you back.’

StealthPolarBear · 31/03/2019 18:05

Bowstreetstunner do you teach punctuation?

FartersDay · 31/03/2019 18:06

Tell the truth because the 10 year old will drop you in it. Or at least only lie to the secondary school!

Crunchymum · 31/03/2019 18:10

I've just called in sick for my y1 to attend a family wedding. It was 2 days (destination wedding. Sigh.)

I told his actual teacher the truth as there is no way I'd expect a 6yo to lie but I called in sick to the office.

ASauvignonADay · 31/03/2019 20:40

Tell the truth because the 10 year old will drop you in it. Or at least only lie to the secondary school
Secondary school kids drop you in it too. They tell their friends who either talk about it in front of staff or who blatantly tell staff. Or tell their parents who ring up to dob the family in. Or the kids just say outright!

Mummyshark2019 · 31/03/2019 20:47

Just tell the truth and take the fine.

Boulezvous · 31/03/2019 20:47

Call in sick

BitchQueen90 · 31/03/2019 20:57

I'd tell the truth and risk a fine as I think it's really wrong to lie about illness.

I took DS out last year at the end of term for 3 days for a once in a lifetime holiday, I told the truth. Didn't get a fine.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 31/03/2019 21:10

if it annoys you, don’t ask them about their illness.

FFS, which part of "I don't ask them" are you not comprehending?

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 31/03/2019 21:23

I’m calling mine in sick tomorrow. Of the three of them they’ve probably missed less than a week in three years and are always ‘green’ on the attendance. They’re never late.

Yes I should have asked for a day off but tbh I couldn’t be bothered with the hassle.

Noodledoodledoo · 31/03/2019 22:29

Kids will let the cat out of the bag, if they are in the same school it doesn't take a genius to put 2 and 2 together.

I had a yr 9 who was on the register as having chicken pox, his mates all made an innocuous comment about his holiday and all the injections he had needed to have!!!

As other teachers have said be honest, accept the fact that the majority of holidays will not be authorised unless exceptional circumstances.

If they have good attendance it is unlikely to cause any problems. If attendance drops later in the year for unforeseen circumstances it is a better to have been honest and not found out.

Cushellekoala · 31/03/2019 22:41

Someone i know said their dc was ill. They went on holiday, were tagged by someone else on holiday on fb and the school found out and called them out on it.
I took DD out of school for a day after ht as flight was booked for the sunday but arrived back on the monday early hours.so i requested a day absence. She was actually really sick on holiday so i could have called in sick on the monday.
I would imagine schools have huge rises in kids "off sick" the days preceeding or following school holidays.

BrokenWing · 31/03/2019 22:47

We broke up for holidays on Friday, called in on Friday and told them ds(15) wouldn't be in. They asked why and i said it's end of term, he's knackered and yesterday he watched 50 mins of 3 separate films, did a quiz, a wordsearch, or played on his phone, so if today is the same he 's better enjoying a lie in. They were fine with it. (Scotland, so will be unauthorised but don't get fined and his attendance is ok)

Noodledoodledoo · 31/03/2019 22:52

Cushellekoala a huge increase in absence on those days. I find it quite amusing if I teach a set of siblings and have them both on the same day - the reasons are added to our attendance system and always amuses me how far fetched some go, or how much little effort people make - both kids with a headache!

I work part time so got away the Friday before half term last year, kids not at school, and the guy in front of us on the transfer bus when we got to Majorca was phoning both kids in sick!