Help me put a stop to this.

[Seeleyboo]

Background first. I have a huge family. All slightly dysfunctional and lots of cousins who have ended up in care, myself included. Once I had grown up I decided to move away from the chaos as did some of my "normal aunts". As the years passed family members drifted and passed away and what is left is a very fractured family. Think Eastenders with a family of 7 children to my maternal grandparents (these are called the kids) and over 30 cousins(the babies) and expanding 2nd cousins. Most kids have drinking issues and most of the babies refuse to have contact with their parents. Anyway I moved 60 miles away from them. Some followed as in, my mum and siblings and a couple of cousins. These relationships dwindled and I moved away again, 200 miles. I am happy and settled and I have contact willingly with 1 cousin and not so willingly with another. I'll call her A. Cousin A wants to visit and has done in the past but I can't cope with visits or overnight stays and if you say no she becomes very aggressive. A few years back she came a few times and kept on and on to visit again and again until I made excuses to deter her. She then went NC. Great. Now she's back. Being super nice and I thought oh well I can be nice back. And low and behold. Can I come and stay. When can I stay. Can we come and stay. I stupidly said she could to get it over with and now I just can't go through with it. She's pestering me for a date. What can I say. Block. Ignore. Lie. Tell truth. I just dont know. It's more of a WWYD but I want to scream FO and get a life as i know she's using me to stay here for a free holiday and to escape someone she's pissed off no doubt. AIBU to block her. I'm a coward but I can't face it.

[embo1]

You've already written your text to her:

I'm still suffering from PND and I work full time. Have 5 kids and 3 dogs.

[SissySpacekAteMyHamster]

Yep block her. She sounds like she brings nothing positive to your life but plenty of negative.

[BedraggledBlitz]

Block. You'll feel loads better when you do.

[lboogy]

Block her. Life is too short to let toxic people in

[Happynow001]

Stop prevaricating OP and block. This person adds absolutely nothing good to your life.

If you need a little push reread this sentence you wrote:

He died 6 weeks later and she asked what reason did I have now to not let her stay as he was dead now.

Push the button my dear! 🌹

[woollyheart]

What reason do you need to not let her stay?

Easy, you don't like her.

Block and forget her.

[Cuddlysnowleopard]

From the outside viewpoint,this is easy. A text back saying "sorry, have too much going on, it's not going to work for us". Then either just ignore, or block her.

She's not behaving decently, and you don't owe her anything.