To think this isn't my fault/responsibility

[Dottyy]

I've been seeing somebody new for a few weeks which is going nicely but obviously still very early days.

We speak on the phone before work some days. I am usually up earlier than he is, and he has asked me to ring him to wake him up on a couple of occasions which has been fine and I have been happy to so. On these occasions I've heard his alarm go off so I know he has set them.

Last night we went out separately, and I went to bed without hearing from him. I woke up to a message from 2am saying "I might need waking up in the morning, I have to be up before 8" He had plans to go and see a friend in another city.

My initial reaction was 'I am not an alarm clock', but I tried ringing him once before 8 anyway. He didn't answer but I assumed he had set alarms like normal and I just got on with my morning.

He has only just woken up and is annoyed that I didn't ring more to make sure he was awake.

I really don't think it's my responsibility to ensure he wakes up after a late night. His day out with friends had absolutely nothing to do with me. Or am I being an unreasonably mean cow?

[pictish]

How are things then?

[StealthPolarBear]

Well done

[TowelNumber42]

Glad to hear it x

[Dottyy]

Sorry it's late,

I want to say a big thank you to everybody that contributed, thank you for knocking sense into me. I appreciate all of you.

[ciderhouserules]

Absolutely the 'thank you for trying' text is the 'nice' phase of the cycle of abuse. he's doing 'nice' now - but if you leave it too long, it'll be back to nasty, or maybe cajoling ('we were so good together - don't throw that away' like it's your fault for breaking up with him) or maybe illness 'I'm not well, I've got sleep apneoa and neeeeeeed you in my life...'

Get rid now, before he starts making you second guess it all again.

Oh it’s like a crocodile party in here snap snap snap! - yes, you are right; we should really go back to being the soft fluffy things we were in the 50s, not hurting the poor menz feelz, and doing every-damn-little thing they require of us, without complaint, because we should be happy to have them. Stop standing up for yourselves, girls! Men's needs come first.

[Nairobe]

In fact that's probably his thrill so send him the pp above text and block on everything.

[Nairobe]

Thank you for trying is do patronising, it's meant to put you in your place. "I'd try harder next time but i really don't want a relationship with someone as immature and ignorant like you."

[jennymalone]

I'd also just step away - a short factual text ('I don't want to continue our relationship. Please don't contact me again.') will suffice, then block him.

Life is too short to be suckered into acting like his mother / keeper / whatever at only a few weeks in... Massive red flags, can you imagine what he'd be like a year down the line when you've wasted more time with this loon?

[TowelNumber42]

Be the adult. Avoid the drama these types rely on.

Message "I don't want to see you any more. Good luck with future dating. Bye."

Get it sent quick so you can reduce the mental energy you waste on him.

[oneforthepain]

'Thank you for trying'...has been sent because the silent treatment didn't end with you apologising profusely.

Just what I was thinking.

Op, if you're serious about working on your boundaries, Freedom Programme can help you with that and your red flag identification skills. //Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

This is what the early stages of coercive control looks like. Once you know the dynamics you'll be able to spot it and trust your instincts. This is how women get sucked in - they start with minor stuff that could potentially be shrugged off, work out which style of manipulation you're most responsive to, and then gradually ramp it up until your life is no longer recognisable.

[GreenTulips]

Think he’s the alarm cock

[WeWantJustice]

Some of these replies have made me chortle.

Am now waiting with bated breath to see what he comes back with when you tell him he's mistaken you for an alarm clock.

You could be helpful and send him a link to a really loud alarm clock

[Greatdomestic1]

Pictish, I think you are bang on the money.

So many responses have made me snigger. Whether you use one of them or not op, get shot of this idiot.

[noseoftralee]

Oh honey dump him. We need these manbabies to die out, alone.

😂👏

[sackrifice]

At 5am 'IT'S TIME'
At 5:15 'TO TELL YOU'
At 5:30 'YOU ARE'
At 5:45 'AN UTTER CLOCK, AND HAVE BEEN DUMPED. FUCKITY BYE'

[sackrifice]

'Thank you for trying'...has been sent because the silent treatment didn't end with you apologising profusely.

I was going to say to call him at 2am and dump him but 5am is better.

[Jozen]

What an arse.
A "sorry, I haven't the time for a relationship" statement is suffice to end this and then off you go chortling away at your own joke.

[FookMeFookYou]

I can't believe you're even asking OP tbh. Direct him to the nearest Argos and be done with this manchild

[Starlight456]

I agree with the poster who said don’t bring feuding friend into it .

I would simply reply this is not how it should be a couple of weeks in. Bye

[ChocChocButtons]

Omg no he’s a nut job lol.

[Stawp]

Dump and move on.

[Gruzinkerbell1]

“Thank you for trying” ?!

No, “sorry for texting at 2am”, “sorry for blaming you”, “sorry for sulking” ?!

Send back “thank you for showing your true colours. Prick.” then block. Easy peasy.

[GreenTulips]

I’d ring him at 6AM - he’s be caught off guard and you can dump him then

He’s waiting for you to make the first move - don’t play into his hands - act as if you’ve forgotten who he is already

[StealthPolarBear]

You could text him in the morning saying "this is a wake up call for you, and for me. Goodbye"

[StealthPolarBear]

StillCoughingandLaughing

I’ll admit I once asked a couple of friends I knew would be up very early to ring me on the day of a very early flight
And presumably that wasn't be text in the middle of the night before, with an assumption they would just do it!